Sexual Health
+1 y

My guy wants to have threesome with his ex....

ive been going out with this guy. I really2x love him and I know, so certain that he loves me too. I was just bothered when this week he asked me to have threesome with him and his ex gf. I was so devastated. I just can't believe he would asked me that. he knows I am not that kind of woman. I love him and wanna do everything for him but I just felt that is a lot...what his asking me...i am so against threesome.it just doesn't feel right. I don't feel the respect on that. I asked him over and over why he wanted to and he simply said he's just curious. and he said his ex said she is cool with that. I asked him if this is a deal breaker between us and he said NO with the assurance he will never leave me if I say no. I asked him if I am boring in bed, he said absoulutely NO. he just keeps on saying he just wana experience it and then that's it. he said he will never do it after that. but I don't think so. I know once he experience it, he will look for more. I am willing to do anything for him except threesome. he knows that from the start. I did like the way he asked for it though, he said it in a sweet,nice and assuring way but still I said NO,NEVER! I EVEN TOLD HIM TO JUST HAve THREESOME WITH HIS EX & OTHER FEMALE FRIEND( COZ HE SAID HE'S JUST CURIOUS) BUT HE RESPONDED A BIG NO! HE SAID HE WANTED TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH ME. Then when I repatedly said No, he said okay! but I know he is disappointed. I can tell he really wanted it i agreed to have anal sex with him since it was both our first. I never imagined myself having anal sex ever but since I love him so much, I did it. But that's how far I can go for sex. You think he really loves me? you think he was telling the truth in saying it will be the first and last?u think my refusal will drive him away from me? I really just cany imagine my guy doing another girl,worst his ex. I wanna die imagining it now...pls pls people let me know what you think?you think I'm not enough?
1 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • I find it odd that pretty much everyone is saying that a threesome is disrespectful. Since when is sexual experimentation a BAD thing? I can understand not wanting to do it with his ex, but the threesome itself isn't disrespectful imho. Furthermore, it sounds like he accepted her refusal and refused the offer of a threesome without her - he wanted to experience it WITH her. He made it clear that he wasn't going to leave her if she refused, and he stated he was satisfied by her. He was just curious about having a threesome -- a common enough thing.

    Again, the ex was a bad idea, but she was probably the only one he knew that might do it. The title line of your question masks his true intent - he wanted to have a threesome with YOU. I'm not saying that you should agree to it, or that you're wrong in refusing, but I do think your mentality is off. I don't imagine you'll agree with anything I'm saying, based on your complete aversion/disgust towards certain sex acts, but that's how I see it.

    Hm, one more thing. If you were a masochist, but he wasn't into that sort o' thing, should he break up with you simply because you have an interest he doesn't share? Of course not! You work around it, accepting the boundaries of your partner. As long as he doesn't act on his desire against your wishes, don't punish him for something as common as sexual curiosity.

    • Hi there I appreciate you posting an answer whether you agree on 3 some or not. I understand your point but since that day I clearly refused to having 3some...he never mentioned it again. Thanks again for the answer

    • I agree to a certain point with u...i personally have had a threesome but that does not mean that I would want my boyfriend to go do a threesome wit my ex girlfriend....if you give yourself to someone with the knowledge that you will be t he only one and then they ask for another,,,hummm,,yea not my cup of tea..i do understand where you come from but i also understand where she is coming from

  • This is old but I'm hoping that you never consented to the threesome. A guy that ask for that with his ex is a total loser. He's putting her and him first and you second. No guy in a relationship with a girl he loves would EVER ask for a threesome with another girl, let alone his ex. There's a slight chance that his main interest is introducing you to another girl and seeing how you respond to another girl and like hoping it'd work out good because he likes girl on girl stuff. A lot of guys are turned on by that and a lot of girls like it too. I noticed in one other question you recently asked that you haven't seen him in 6 weeks so I hope it isn't because of this that he's being a jerk right now. Good luck!

    • Hi thanks for the comment. I sent you a msg,i have another ques 4u. and just an update, I didn't went out with that new guy last weekend. I don't wana be called a cheater...thanks for adding me up

Most Helpful Girls

  • It depends on how serious committed your relationship is. This is the second worse thing to cheating, he's including you and asking your permission at the same time, so that if you did say yes he would feel less guilt. What makes it worse is that he has asked to sleep with his ex. Ex's are ex's for a reason, he obviously has physical attraction for her still, and possibly emotional. I would really discuss this with him in a calm civil way. Tell him how you felt when he asked and how you feel now. If he is truly deeply concerned that he has hurt you then I wouldn't worry too much. I wouldn't worry about ruining the relationship. If it wasn't meant to be and he seems to think sleeping with other women is a must then you should dump him anyway. So talk with him about it and put him in your shoes if you must to get your point across. How would he feel if you asked for him to sleep with another guy and you, your ex to be exact? I'm sure he wouldn't be too keen on the idea.

    • Thank you for that nice comment...i am feeling and thinking exactly the same thing now....

  • I would be gone. That was really disrespectful to ask when he knows you're not like that, and even moreso that he asked to do it with his ex. Yeah, he probably does love you. But he is disrespectful. And you offering to let him do it with two other girls was nice of you, and if you're cool with it great. But really, how degrading is that? The reason you don't want to do a threesome is because you don't want to share your man. So instead you share him with two? It sounds like he has too much control over you and you shouldn't go so far to please him. You need to have expectations in the relationship also and it can't just be all about him. It is good that he said no. But I think you need to take a good look at yourself and the relationship. You shouldn't be agreeing to things like that. I can tell it makes you sad. And it's unhealthy.

  • Your boyfriend needs a good smack upside the back of his head. How DARE he try to pressure you into something that you don't want to do. Even more, how DARE he want to have a threesome with you, his current girl, and then his ex-girlfriend. This is just a problem WAITING to happen. Okay, we all know that guys are just SEXUAL creatures, but really...this is too much right here. He needs to respect your feelings about threesomes and excommunicate himself from this ex of his. Apparently he MUST feel some type of connection with her still if he's interested...no..."CURIOUS" about having a threesome with her. This situation is just sickening to me. Why isn't the sex with the two of you guys enough for him? Why must he try to insert a third party? Tell him to tune into porn or something to wank himself off if that's what he needs...

    • Well men are not "just sexual creatures" And there are a lot of women that are into threesomes, that convince their partner to agree to 2 guy threesomes. The part that's really screwed up to me is that he wanted it to be with his ex. That was what was really stupid and mean about it

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

6 12

  • Well it sounds like your really trying. A threesome is not automatically a bad idea, it can fun if both partners are open to it. It seems like the kind of idea someone in a relationship can suggest for consideration. But with you and his ex that's screwed up that's beyond stupid, it sounds like he must play you like a yoyo and has asked for ridiculous things from you before and gotten them. Tell him don't let the door hit you on the butt on the way. Also try lets have a threesome with me you and my ex boyfriend you can take turns with me and even do some gay stuff with each other, see how he likes that idea lol. I suppose you'll be getting a phone call in a few months asking if you "the ex" wanna do it with him and his new girlfriend. Was he really drunk or high when he asked, if so he will probably awaken from his stupor and say I don't even remember what I was talking about that's my hope

  • it's disrespectful for me, I honestly would consider dumping a guy if he said that

    • Thank you

  • hell gurl I just think its curiosity that kills the cat...hes just curious...but it doesn't sound like you not enough...if he truly loves you he will make sacrifices ...believe me he will...dont get discouraged...and maybe just as a little tip...maybe you could spice things up..ya kno? try new things..make it an adventure for him...that way his appetite is wetted and he wants more of u...and his curiosity will turn towards u...its all about imagination

    • Thank you

  • Of course you're enough. But your man wants a threesome, and it seems like he's ready to go get one.

    Your best chance, I think, is to let that offer stand with him, his ex, and a third; that way, he gets a threesome without dumping you.

    • Hey thanks...but I already said that to him though. it's because I got so annoyed with the fact that he asked me for a threesome. I told him, " you really wanna experience threesome?he said yes. I said then okay go do it with your ex & find another friend...dont ever expect to do it with me" but he replied with a big NO! he insisted he wanna share the experience with me (sigh)

  • a threesome can be upsetting enough to hear from your significant other, but when he wants to do it with his ex, that's a major slap in the face , that is not okay, no matter how sweet he sounded when he asked, TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL I would probably leave my boyfriend for even asking such a thing

  • If your not down with it, then don't do it. If your in a serious committed relationship you he shouldn't even be considering this. I would dump him honestly, and move on.

  • Go for it, unless you are a virgin, then dump him and find other dude.

  • He's an asshole. That's the bottom line. First of all he's an ass to have that though, but even more so to have asked for such a thing from his loving girlfriend. Not only did he ask if he could have a threesome with you and another girl, but his EX? That's a bit far. You should definitely concider whether you want to be with someone like that. I know its hard to think about not being with the man you love, but there are plenty of less-horny, kinder fish in the sea.

    Not only are you enough, you're too much for him.

  • That is insane. first he knew you weren't interested in that. then he wants to include his ex! wtf? find someone who respects you

    • Thank you

  • Wow, that must have been a surprise. I don't know what to tell you. the fact that he would talk to his ex about it and then ask yo to take part in such a thing speaks volumes. I think it may be best o take a few weeks away from one another and see if the feelings settle down. You need to know if he has ever done this before, It sounds as though he and his ex may have some history with this kind of thing. If he does not respect you and your relationship then move on PLEASE move on.

    • Awww thanks for your opinion....we never did this thing though...I posted this like 8-9 months ago...and he never asked me about threesome ever again...but I appreciate your responce...Thanks

  • ask his this "CAN WE HAVE A 3SUM WITH YOU AND MY EX"

    and see what that loser gonna say?!

    i hate guys like that... ass holes.

    • Hey there thanks! but I already broke up with him - I'm now happy without him...and yeah he was an ass for asking me to do that and I'm hoping I will never meet someone like him

    • Thats good for you girl :)

  • Im just gonna be real with you...WTF?

    Your man has to be the dumbest mofo to even ask you that. Common sense guarantees that you will say no and get mad. But then again, there's not much common sense in many people these days.

    Instead of telling us how much you love the guy, maybe you should be asking us if he loves you as much as you love him. I gotta agree with everyone here who said that's straight up disrespectful and even insulting. And you said he'ss disappointed you said no? hahahahahaha I'm sorry but this is a clown fest

    If you're not gonna dump him for sh*t like that, you need to have a serious convo with him trying to figure out if he still might wanna f*k his ex, or he's just a straight up retard with bricks in his brain. Then go from there.

  • I think you should stay with him alone and enjoy the sex regimine that you have established for yourselves. You are definately not emotionally available for a threesome of any kind especially with his ex. If you ever considered to compromise make it with one of his guy friends who is close to him and let him have it that way. Then you would really enjoy where you are at with your sexuallity. No exgirlfriends that you don't have a love thing for! It is too stressfull and would not be any fun ; I believe any way?

  • Yeah that's cool. The hubs and I have done that.

  • who asks this? this is a red flag

  • He loves his ex.

  • He was honest with you about what he wants. Obviously, you’re not into it, which is fine. However, he is, which is also fine. But this just not for you. Don’t try to change his mind. I think you’ll just have to move on.

  • he does he just wants to exp. it

    he still loves you tho so just relax and don't do and e thing

    ur not comfortable with doing

    and I don't think you refusing him will drive him away at all

    just relax and stop over analyzing

    =)

    • Thanks much

Latest Questions

Why it feels so empowering to fuck a married man?
Guys, How would you feel if you found out that your current partner used a strap-on on a guy in the past?
Why do women believe that sex with another girl equals cheating for men?
Why do men think woman are just sex objects?
Home >  Sexual Health  > My guy wants to have threesome with his ex....