Sexual Health
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My girlfriend of one year hasn't been interested in sex lately.

i have been with my girlfriend for almost one year (we are both 22 year old college students) and despite a fight here and there things have been great. however, the past few weeks when I try to initiate sex she says she does not want to have sex. she says she has not been feeling sexual lately. that is totally fine by me as I love and care about her no matter what. however, I am worried that this is a sign for something else. I am worried she feels differently about me or she wants to date other people. of course maybe I am just being paranoid. we talked about it once and she said it's nothing at all except she has not been feeling sexy or sexual lately. as much as I hope this is the truth I am scared she doesn't feel the same towards me. any ideas? thanks!
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Dude, do not listen to what the women are saying below! Talking with a woman about this will turn her off you sexually (no offense to the ladies, just trying to help a guy out).

    Not to sound too harsh here, but if a woman was completely satisfied every time sexually by a certain man, then she would want to have sex with him 3/4 times a day.

    I have some suggestions that may help ...

    1. Reinvent yourself sexually ... google men that women find sexy and copy (some) of their style. Check out how they hold themselves and how they treat women, which btw should never be badly

    2. Look at the traits women find most attractive in a man - hero traits such as assertiveness, toughness, confidence, humour, unpredictability, adventurous-ness, determination and make these more part of who you are.

    3. Stay away from your woman for a few days and when you meet up with her again be this new man (don't act it or she will call you on your bullsh1t). You have to BE the man of her dreams, not act like you could be.

    4. Don't ever doubt yourself if a woman makes a comment or puts you down. Her comments are only tests to see if you ARE the man of her dreams. You seriously have to respect women for doing this as it makes sure that she has the most amazing man.

    5. When you meet up with her, have somethings planned e.g. bring her to the beach/park and have a picnic ... but never ask her what to do (although if she suggests something and it's a good idea then by all means go for it). Also don't be afraid to say no if you don't like her suggestion.

    6. When all this stuff is sorted, she will jump you for sex (don't be afraid to say no when she asks for it). All that is left is for you to learn how to satisfy her in different ways. Research different ways to please women and I would seriously suggest you look up how to stimulate a woman's G-Stop and her Deep spot ... ur woman will never want to get out of bed with you again (of course, you'll tell her that you want to do something else ... he he he he).

    Good luck man.

    • I agree with you on almost all what you wrote, except that communicating with your lady is always a good thing to do, it isn't true that talking to your woman about sexual problems is a bad idea!!! P.S: it is not excluded that she is cheating on him .... even if I have to say that I think in this case, he might not be pleasing her in bed,,,if he doesn't show in action that he desires each part of her body she might feel bad about it and starts thinking he only cares about penetration,,,

  • It is not a good sign at all. I am sure you are getting other vibes also that things are not fine.

    Many women suppress their feelings and do not say anything clearly about what is wrong. Usually it is not a very concrete thing, just a suspicion about something like: she feels you do not reciprocate her feelings, she feels you are cheating, or the relationship is going no where etc. This happens more often to women with low self esteem and past bad experience. They never tell the real problem but express it through some other thing (like withholding sex) which really complicates matters.

    If at all you can draw her out it can improve.

    Tell her that you feel unloved when she is not sexually attracted to you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • not good..when my man started falling inlove with his ex again things like this happened..later baby,no its not that its just I'm tired from work..i work my ass off and you tell me I cheated on you?i don't have time but meanwhile playing sad songs about wanting to be with his ex but can't because he is involved with someone else..there's a lot of reason but really when you do feel unconnected to this person and someway connected to other you feel more special at the moment that's what you do...so what I do is said OK I'm behind you when you fall don't confront him anymore..and never again did I ask for sex..he would just come up and want it from u..this is the sign I know you don't like this but hey his mind is playing with other girl in bed..so up to you to decide..

  • Umm usually that isn't a good sign. That's exactly how it started with me and my ex. I just didn't want to have sex with him anymore...the feelings weren't there. And for a while I told him that nothing was wrong, and maybe I said that because I just wasn't absolutely sure, but after a couple months I realized that I just didn't want to be with him anymore. Obviously this might not be the case with everyone, but losing sexual interest can usually mean either that they are cheating, or they just want to see other people. If it keeps going on like it is, then you will want to talk to her about it. Because I just don't see how someone could seriously go weeks without sex with the reason of "not feeling sexy" or whatever, it just doesn't make sense.

  • COMMUNICATION is always key. It is always really important to trust your instincts. If you feel like something is fishy then something might be fishy. It doesn't mean she's cheating or wants to break up with you. It might mean that she is dealing with something she doesn't wanna worry you about. It could mean that she's stressed about something. Stress among other things can really diminish your libido. I know you might not want to but You need to sit her down in a non confrontational way and talk to her again. Tell her that you care for her very much and have been feeling her full away and don't know why. Let you know that you love her and that whatever it is you want to be there for her. That is makes you feel bad when she shuts you out.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 3

  • It's not a good sign. Usually when the sexual interests go away there is a problem. It doesn't mean she wants to date other people, it could, but it could mean a million other things too. Maybe she is just stressed and it's cause her to have a lower libido. Maybe you upset her and hse hasn't gotten over it. There are a lot of reasons. And if her reason is because she doesn't feel sexy then you need to do something to make her feel sexy.

  • She could be stressed by school, or she might just not like having sex... what kind of birth control is she on? Sometimes the pill can cause a loss of desire.

    Now, time for me to be devils advocate.

    If she has no stress from school, no adverse effects from birth control... it is possible she doesn't have a high sex drive.

    If she isn't hot for you at 22 (I was f++king at least every day when I was 22) imagine how bad it will be at 30... or 40 or 50!

    Sexual incompatibility can lead to affairs, and breakups/divorces.

    Sort things out before making commitments to her.

    Joe

  • Prepare yourself, she's about to break up with you. Sorry, guy.

  • Talk to her again see why she's always feeling this way lately. tell her how you feel about it, and how much its bothering you! Tell her how much you love her and you wanna be with her my point is COMMUNICATE is what you need to do :)

  • hmm lots of things will make her lose interest in sex. Could she be suffering from depression? Does this coincide with a lack of interest in other things she once enjoyed? If so, get her to see a doctor right away. Or is her self esteem suffering a bit, perhaps giving her more compliments will help her to feel more "sexy". Or is it possible one of those "little fights" you view as something small (I tend to do the same) that she sees as a major problem (thus your more or less cut off).

    Hope some of that helps!

  • try talking to her and see if she's got something else one her mind.if not then maybe you should just try some new positions or ask her what would make her feel sexual again...don't jump to conclusions right away though and ask her if she is pregnant because that is a sure fire way to get her to dump you.

  • When she says its nothing sometimes that means she just wants to see how far you will pursue her, so keep asking but be sure not to be annoying. If her tone starts to get an agitated edge then stop and tell her that you "love and care about her no matter what". Do sweet things here and there like maybe see a chick flick, I don't know if you still do this but light some candles once and a while. Nothing makes a girl feel pamered and sexy like a day at the spa. If you got the cash get her a manicure pedicure, or maybe a honey body rub or something then after get the workers to give her a card saying to go back to her place have a note saying to get ready then go out to dinner, after go back to your place give her some sexy lingerie and have rose petals and candles.

    Its an expensive alternative but very romantic. If she's really worth it then do something like this. Shell love it.

    good luck bud

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