The Art of Saying "No"

Ozanne

The Art of Saying


For those that are typically good-hearted and aim to please, saying no is a very difficult thing to do. But saying yes all the time is also not necessarily a good thing (or a smart thing, depending on your capabilities), and learning the “nice way” to say no can come in handy to give you a little bit of peace and a boost to your confidence.


Saying no may make someone feel uncooperative and unwilling, but in actuality, just saying no means that you are unable to do something for various reasons, that often don’t need explanation. No need to make up lies (though white lies are often used for quick fixes – having to answer for them later on is tricky). These are some examples (and I know, there are tons more scenarios!) when and how to say no in a way that might make it easier for you.


On the Job


If your boss or co-workers expect you to do a task and you can do it, and should do it, by all means within the guidelines of your position, it should be considered. It’s okay to say no is when it competes with your workload or your personal morals.



  • “I have a tight schedule to get deadlines meet, can you ask me when I’m finished?”

  • “That’s not exactly part of my position. Perhaps you can ask ___ who is better suited?”


Peer Pressure


Whether it's drinking, taking drugs, or feeling pressured for to do anything that serves no purpose other than to join a crowd, saying no is a big deal especially if you sense you're up for ridicule once standing up for yourself. These can be truths if you let them so you can avoid being in the situation:



  • "My job has me taking random drug tests, I just can't."

  • "I'm allergic to it. I can't risk having a fit."

  • "I can't afford the hangover tomorrow - I have stuff to do."

  • "No thanks, you guys need a designated driver, and I'm all for it."


Favours


A lot of times the “I-did-this-for-you-now-you-owe-me” attitude comes in to play. It’s not that you’re going to be forever unwilling to do something for your friends and family, but to be pressured when it’s not right for you isn’t okay.



  • “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just am unable to.”

  • “I appreciate that you ___ for me, but this isn’t about that. I would help if I could, but can’t.”


Sex


Pressures to have sex or to try something you don’t feel comfortable with it within your right to decline. If you really feel you have to cook up a reason, try these.



  • “I’m not ready to try that,” (then if inclined), “..but I will try/do this ___.”

  • “Sexual or not, you don’t see me asking you to do something you don’t want.”

  • “I love you more when you respect my decision to say no.”


Money


Have the money to lend and your friends know it? You are never obligated to give it up if you don’t want to. Great advice is also here:


MoneyUnder30 Dot Com



  • “I’d give you what I can if I could, but I have my own financial obligations I need to look after.”

  • “Sounds like a small enough loan that you can ask anyone else for, but I simply can’t.”

  • “Sounds like a large loan, and it's serious. You might have to ask your bank, or go to a cash loan service, because I can’t do that.”


The Art of Saying "No"

The Art of Saying "No"
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