Without much preamble, I am going to present my perspective on this matter and will outline how I have come to all my conclusions.
First of all, who or what defines who we are or who we are going to become in life ?
These things : Family, the culture you grew up in, the specific people around you, yourself + medial influences
Let's start from the very beginning :
You cannot chose who your parents are and where in the wolrd you are born, but the first 5 years of your life shape you decisively : You learn your native language, you explore the world with your senses, and you learn from your parents who again have learned from their parents. (Let's neglect their circumstances for the sake of simplicity ). Their behavior and their customs will rub off on you without you thinking about it or realizing it. Your native lanugae interestingly influences the way you think too: Let's look at this example , my native German compared to English + some Latin to make it clearer - and the way of thinking :
"To apply for a job" = Um einen Job bewerben - werben = advertize --> advert = Latin , meaining (turning somehting against sth.) - "werben" however implies asserting yourself against others, whereas "apply" just means that you apply yourself - you are the one who thinks he / she is the right one for the job. What I mean is, Germans perceive anyone else as their competitor subconsciously, while English speakers are just being confident in this matter) Besides, in English you say "you" to anyone, in German you adress people you don't know or who are in a superior postion (anywhere) with "Sie" instead of "Du" - "Sie" degrades people to objects in my eyes, while "Du" implies that you respect them as actual people. That's why Germans are so rude and Americans so laid back for instance" (Very far fetched, I know) "
As soon as you git puberty, however you begin to find out who YOU are.
Anything before was not really you, because you didn't have a mind of your own.
As a teenager, your peer group will be the people you try to fit in with, without caring about what you want or what you actually stand for. You seek confirmation for your new self after all. You are finding out what's acceptable and what's not.
After the teenage years, you will still keep changing, Seneca, an ancient Roman writer and philosopher said to always keep moving and to educate yourself. Hence, no one stays who they are. You will always be looking for something better : It's human nature to want more and more of anything. Also , what I have noticed is that there is always talk about the future - working toward a "better" future - this implies that the present is never good enough, instead you will always be envisioning yourself at some point in the distant future.
Furthermore, you need to question whether you would risk doing what you would truly like, so that you won't common social norms in your culture to be more precise even.
Next, you need to ask yourself whether you would like to be yourself or whetehr you actually emulate anyone else - are you a follower in your life or a leader, who has learned to live through himself ?
Being yourself seems very difficult after this long consideration, right ?
I personally recommend meditation to separate your mind from your body for a while and just let your thoughts wander. Find a quiet place somewhere in nature and just look at the clouds. Think of absolutely nothing -(hard to master) then images will appear in your mind (images from the very past when you were just 1 year old or your subconscience). Voices too. And emotions will appear all fo a sudden. - How did the experience make you feel ? Keep this feeling (which is not comparable to any feeling) and elaborate where it wants to lead you. This path will be the way to finding your true self . It has worked for me.
And I believe it will work for you as well.
Enough food for thought for today at least. Run, run, disappear, you figments of my imagination ! ;D
Sources: In depth psychology and Seneca's Stoa
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