Feel like a Loser? Join the Club!

[Ozanne]

Over many years, I have talked to a lot of people who have felt badly about their lives and the situations they are in. They considered that given their age they think they should have done things differently at different timelines throughout their lives. I’m here to say, that’s all a bunch of societal propaganda, created just so that people can be sheep in our world to obey, not question authority, purchase, procreate, sleep, and not to have independent thought. (Yes, in honour of one of my all-time wrestling crushes, this is from the film “They Live”.)

Where you are in your life is where you’re supposed to be. Feeling miserable that you don’t have a girlfriend by now, or should have gotten married by now, or should be having kids, or why you’re stuck in a job you hate are all things that we are told to feel badly about in subliminal ways so that we soldier on giving our former generations reasons to be proud of us.

It doesn’t work this way anymore. I’ve been asked questions here on GaG in private about my own life only to counter-confide that my life has not been all that great. It’s been hard, it’s been boring, it’s been predictable, and yes, sure I’ve had a lot of moments where I created adventure. But for the most part, I’ve been no different than anyone else who feels like I’ve missed things in life and maybe did things too late.

The next time you see someone on Facebook advertising a fantastic life, just know that the reality is, it’s not so perfect. I actually had my esthetician openly admit after she bragged about her life to me while waxing my underarms that her life was miserable because of her blended family. I also got sick of listening to my brother’s wife brag to my parents about their white picket fence world only to find out her oldest son is an arsonist, and middle son was dealing drugs (out of my brother’s garage).

The next time you feel bad that you aren’t where you want to be, just know this, you are quite honestly in a better place than most, and you aren’t so much worse off than me or anyone else. You have strengths and weaknesses that others don’t—this comes after reading a 14-year old girl’s comment here today about how she has the ability to forgive and forget, an entire post that was one of the wisest things I’ve read on GaG. If a 14 year old girl has got more maturity than most to know how to bust up the societal pressure to know how to look ahead, move forward and not look back, then why can’t we all?

Quit sizing up your life against the lives of others who don’t even have their acts together, and enjoy the life you have right now because it’s the one you created.

As boring and predictable and miserable as it can be, don't worry. You’re in good company.

[VictoriousSausage]

This is true to some extent, but it really does depend on the society you live in, for instance, in the Scandinavian countries, most people are generally happy with their lives, because their society gives people the chance to succeed, the chance to be happy, in France, Britain and Spain, a similar thing goes, less-so because of the more heavy capitalism, the point is, where larger people can stomp on smaller people, instead of helping them, it creates the idea that the world is impossible to amount to anything worth-while, and i'm not meaning to have a dig at capitalism here, but i think if we stopped focusing on money, and more on what makes us happy, we'd generally all be happier people, so the next time you walk out the door, say hello to the first person you see, smile at ten people and laugh with twenty, don't let a government form hold you back from true, simple, happiness, because we all have the capacity to smile, we just need to use it more often.

[Dipsy]

Lol so true. But here in the netherlands when you say Hi to a random person on the street, they'll wonder why you said that. I've been to other countries and other people are a lot more, well friendly actually (i dont know if it's friendly, but I don't know how to call it). They say Hi to strangers. I wish it was kinda different here

[abundantlyrich]

That's the problem with most people. They compare their lives to others, get jealous, complain but don't do anything with a changed attitude. What good is that if they are not feeling better than their last good meal? :P

I wonder what are you going to write next... You are over taking GAGTAKE's job here :)))))

[Unit1]

"I’m here to say, that’s all a bunch of societal propaganda, created just so that people can be sheep in our world to obey, not question authority, purchase, procreate, sleep, and not to have independent thought."

Damn straight!

While I am not satisfied with where I am now, I try to actually work away from my position in to a better place towards my goal. When life seems like it disappoints, well then such is life.

But one thing I can not agree with.

"Where you are in your life is where you’re supposed to be."

Actually this is not entirely true. To say this is assuming someone to be in a place where you have no idea about that person, which is considering a bad thing to express. I think what you meant to say is: Where you are in life is where you are destined to be and you have done all you could if you had the will to it. Maybe this suits better on what you tried to explain?

I wouldn't label myself a loser but more like a born with certain handicaps (not in terms of being disabled)

Good take Ozanne! Good take.

[Ozanne]

Thanks, U :)

[LordZero]

Nice myTake.

I think the only guys who are really happy are the one's that get laid everyday. I lost my virginity and had sex with four prostitutes last month, I was really happy for a while. Now, I'm slowly becoming depressed again. Food, shelter and clothing keeps me alive, but sex kept me energetic and happy. Without sex, I'm just a walking zombie. I can't afford prostitutes anymore because I got no job or source of income. Most girls didn't like me sexually for the past 26 years of my life, why would they start now? With most girls, I never got beyond the friend zone. I'm not mad at girls, but I'm not enthusiastic of girls anymore either. I don't even like masturbating because what's the point if in reality girls hate my existence? Well, at least I still got a PC, movies, and games such as League of Legends.

By the way, I didn't force the prostitutes into anything. The one's I had sex with were genuinely interested in me. They could have denied me sex at any time. If they really hated me, I would not have had sex with them. I made sure that they were okay with having sex with me before I went any further. If I see the girl isn't smiling and doesn't seem interested in me, I just say, "forget it" and walk away. This is extremely hard to do because I find all girls attractive. But, I'm not going to pay for someone to have sex with me while they feel miserable being with me.

I hope one day, girls in general will finally find me sexy. I don't know what I did wrong the past 26 years of my life, but I will not give up on girls. If there's one good quality I have, it's that despite my failures, I never give up. Per aspera ad astra. I may not be crazy about girls right now, but I still love girls even if they don't love me back.

You're right about Facebook. Every couple that's posting these extremely happy pictures are mostly posting lies about their lives. I'm fairly certain most of them would rip each other's guts out if they had the chance. :D

Peace. :D

[Bluemax]

I got as far as "Yes, in honour of one of my all-time wrestling crushes"

At that point, I was like, "OMG! YOU HAD A CRUSH ON ROWDY RODNEY PIPER?"

I promise to read the rest of the take later, but for now I can't stop chuckling. I knew a guy in high school who looked a lot like Rodney Piper, and he was on the wrestling team (real wrestling). I wouldn't say he was my friend but we had a few classes together and talked. He was an pretty cool guy.

Oh, and I loved They Live and that one line that Piper ad-libbed, "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum..."

I had a crush on MTVs Martha Quinn, though I never admitted that to anyone. Thank you for inspiring my next question, and I promise to read the rest of the take.

[Ozanne]

Roddy Piper's death earlier this month is the one celebrity's death who I've ever cried over. I have loved him since I saw this movie when it came out. I actually felt like I lost a love or something. Yeah I loved his charged up personality and his quick comebacks. Then when I saw the film, I thought he was capable of being so sexy, even though I don't think he was trying to be. I loved his hair and face. ♥ I too knew a guy who looked like him when I was about 26 or so and I crushed on him so hard. He was about 50 at the time and I asked him if people told him he looked like Piper much and he said yes, those that know who he is, all the time. I was just a drooling puppy for this guy, but he never would go out with me. Though he was single, he said I was too young for him. He was a tow-truck driver. I would have loved to date Piper's doppelgänger since I couldn't have the real thing. :D Yeah, I was nuts.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I'm pretty bad for this. I don't have issues with my job or anything like that. I'm pretty happy with how I am money wise. It's the relationship thing. A week from today I'll 29 years old and I have never been in a relationship. I've never been asked out on a date. I am still a virgin. I feel like I am too old to be a virgin. Sure I could go to a bar and get drunk to have sex, but I don't want to do that. It's starting to feel like that is my only option if I want to have sex though.

I feel like if I do ever meet a guy who likes me back, he won't want me as soon as he finds out I am a 29 year old virgin with no relationship experience. It's different from the people who are waiting for marriage. It's their choice. The only reason I haven't is because no one has wanted me. If they have been interested, they haven't told me.

Any guy I've been interested in has rejected me.

[RandomUsername3464]

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your encouraging words, but women just don't understand how it feels to be a guy and a virgin in this society. Most don't anyway. The feeling is almost indescribable - the sense of depression, failure, that we are less of a man because of it. Even worse, I've seen women go off on assumptive rants about me specifically and other guys, even though we aren't blaming them for anything, or insulting them in any way. The taunts are deadly. I don't have a problem admitting that they hurt.

Society would be a lot better and more relaxed if there were more girls like you to even things out. But as men, we feel that we are not fulfilling our existence in a sense, and when we want to talk about how we are depressed, society at large - guys and girls - just tell us to grow a pair and shut up.

[love2run13]

Well you can easily change this-just grab a girl who's dtf and have wild, passionate sex for a night and de-virginize yourself lol the really hard shit is finding someone who loves you as much as you can love and will stay with you through thick and thin. THATS hard.

[RandomUsername3464]

It's a bit hard to explain at this point. That was my first post with a username, so you didn't see my previous post history. I am shy, and I never really got into the whole "dtf" stuff because I just didn't develop like that. Virginity is just one hurdle me and men at large face when it comes to masculinity in culture. I feel like a lesser being, and I've been harassed for it by people in the past. But you are absolutely correct about the last part. Even if we get rejected a million times, there is someone out there we could eventually "hook up" with. But, it doesn't satisfy that urge we have to truly connect with someone in a meaningful and truly loving way. But I am so far away from achieving that. And I know that girls don't like guys who complain about this stuff too much, but I need to vent.

[Monsters]

I admire virginity in guys... it us really lonely but admirable. not something to be ashamed of in the slitest dont rush to throw it away ne proud. i am also a virgin but it seems to ne harder for a guy
Just save it for that special someone
Best gift you can give

[Monsters]

I. Proud of you smile morals are ok

[heywhisper]

This is the best take.

I ALWAYS feel like a loser... I'm in college yes but I feel like I should have a good job earning good money and living on my own. I still live with my parents.. most of my friends are out on their own with good jobs and I feel horrible about where I am in life.

[ejx629]

Thank you, this was exactly what I needed to read today. I've been feeling like this a lot lately. I've been so wrapped up worrying about my own life and thinking everyone else's lives are perfect that I hadn't even considered other people's problems or that my life might not be as bad as I thought.
Thank you so much for reminding me of that. :)

[Ozanne]

I was watching a Drew Barrymore interview and she was going on and on about how "boring" she was. I mean, she's a famous actress who gets to go do all this cool shit, and she was saying how aside from that work - she really lives a very boring life and felt like a very uninteresting person. It made me realize that no matter who we all are with however much money if we're bored, we're bored.

I'm glad you found some solace in this. :)

[PiuBelloAmante]

Ozanne you are married right? If you weren't I would be madly in love with you and try to get a date at every chance lol jk

Another great, well written and real Take. By one of my favorite and one of the most experienced gagers out there 😍😍😍❤️

[Ozanne]

Ah PBA my favourite :)

[Likes2drive]

Not exactly the place I want to be in at the moment, I've done all those things already and now I'm going to be starting over again at my age, my job which is an ok job is the only thing that isn't changing , I'm losing everything else in my life and will be moving into a room in my step fathers house. Talk about going backwards , I'll be broke from paying child support for a few years and probably will be feeling depressed most of the time

[SIGguy]

I can't say as much for me. Been unemployed for a year now, bouncing around from temp agency to temp agency. I feel like my luck's about to turn, but I'm not certain. Got a job interview, not really sure how it went, but my stepfather says I'll probably get hired. I'll just have to see.

[jormungand]

keep us up-to-date

[ThisDudeHere]

"Feel like a Loser?" Sort of, yeah.
"Join the Club!" Wow, thanks but I'll pass. I'm too socially inexperienced to be in clubs. I wouldn't know what to do.

Probably the reason I'm a loser anyway.

[menina]

I feel better after reading this, thank you.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm behind people of my age. That I should be doing other things. But after reading this, I realized that my situation might not be so bad as it seems.

[BelleGirl21]

Fabulous take. It's funny because most people on gag are aware of my troubled marriage but not a soul in real life would ever be able to guess. Not that I falsely build up my life but I certainly am selective about what people see.

[VincentValentine]

Every Man and Woman goes through times of quiet desperation.

[BelleGirl21]

Well said @vincentvalentine

[Cold_hearth]

Thanks for this take. it was really comforting :) I love the last part ''enjoy the life you have right now because it’s the one you created.'' Gonna use it :P

[Random_chick_2384]

I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me

https://youtu.be/6xHh8bSX-zc

[HookingSwan]

:) Thanks for posting this

Sure is comforting and probably true most of the time.

[Ozanne]

Yes, comforting is exactly what I was hoping for. :)

[smahala1991]

Very true! Thanks for the post and RIP Roddy Piper!

[KidanisCortes]

In a way you are promoting comformism and thats not right its good to have ambition in life and there's a certaing age primer for having kids 20- 30 after that life is just downhill

[Ozanne]

My Take is actually the opposite suggesting this. It has nothing to do with having ambition or not, it's about not feeling as if getting a suit and tie job, getting married, having kids and doing all that is expected of one's self is the way people have to gauge where they are in life. If someone does NOT want to do these things or they're in a position where they haven't done them and feel like they should, our lives' paths are all different and we actually should not conform. Guys who are virgins at 22 years old are killing themselves with desperation thinking something is wrong with them, and women not married yet by the time they're 30 are also feeling like they got nowhere in life because those are the types of things people think that life is all about. So please know, that in no way is this about conforming, it's about being satisfied that not conforming is okay too.

[KidanisCortes]

Well I can see their logic tho If I was a virgin at 22 I'd also be crazy desperate or think something was wrong with me too

[Ozanne]

Just on GaG alone look how many guys are virgins past their teen years. Again, people are in good company knowing they aren't alone, many guys are in that same situation. I can understand the need for it and wanting to lose their virginity, but some guys here are downright close to suicide because they feel like they can't score a girl. That's the thing I'm talking about here - no need to feel so down about things many, many people are going through as if they're some freak of nature.

[KidanisCortes]

Well I can't score a girl either hence why I'm on the internet but its natura when you are ugly

[iamyourneighbor]

Reading this has made me feel much better to be honest. I did not even know I would stumble upon this mytake

[Watermelonoma]

You made some good points... Particularly about how people use Facebook