Preface
I recently got promoted to Editor so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity so I could have myTakes featured easier.
I'd like to make a shout out to @atomique for giving me the idea for this myTake.
I'd also like to thank @Illusive_Man and @ImaSloth for their help.
Since my French is not that great this myTake will only be in English.
Be warned it will be long
Let's begin
Geography
Canada sometimes called the great White north is bordered by the United States to the south and northwest (Alaska) as well as Greenland to the northeast. The two official languages are English and French.
English is spoken everywhere but French is spoken predominantly in Quebec.
Canada is made up of 10 provinces and 3 territories with a population of approximately 35 million with an area of 9,984,671 square kilometers (3,855,103 square miles). Canada is the second-largest country in the world, after Russia but most of the land is in the territories. The territories are Yukon, Northwest Territories and Nunavut (part of Northwest Territories until 1999) the rest are provinces. Each province and territory has its own tax rate some are higher than others.
The capital of Canada is Ottawa not Toronto although Toronto is the biggest city.
This scene is from a film called Canadian bacon. It exaggerates both American and Canadian stereotypes.
Most foreigners get confused by this; much like how Sydney is not the capital of Australia, Canberra is.
Ottawa is rated as the most boring city in Canada no joke. That's because the only thing there is the parliament and snow of course.
System of measurement
In Canada we use both the Imperial (US) system and the Metric (SI) system.
When you buy produce there is a sign with two prices. The number in larger font is in pounds and the one in smaller font is in kilograms.
Depending on who you talk to, different people use different measurements but most people that have lived in Canada for a while use the Imperial system for weight (pounds) and length (feet and inches).
Personally I was raised with the metric system so I use meters for length but I've grown accustomed to using pounds for weight over kilograms.
For temperature however almost everybody uses Celsius.
When it comes to measuring volume we use liters and milliliters not ounces and gallons.
1 liter is about 0.26 gallons and 1 gallon is about 3.79 liters.
For those of you in the UK 1 liter is 0.22 gallons (UK) and 1 gallon (UK) is 4.55 liters.
Gas prices differ based on location. This is an image of a purely Canadian gas station; there are countless others such as Esso, Sunoco, Shell and a bunch of smaller ones.
Money
In Canada our currency is called the Canadian dollar. We simply refer to it as the dollar.
The bills look like this. They were recently updated and have a bunch of security features on them to prevent people from making counterfeits. They are made of polymer.
Here are the Canadian coins. The penny is no longer minted as of February 2013 since it costs about 2 cents to make a penny and barely anybody likes using them. All prices have since been rounded to the nearest 5 cents. Pennies are still accepted as legal tender and will be indefinitely. Sometimes American coins are given as change but no one really cares.
All prices are before taxes so don't be surprised when you go to the cash register and you are forced to pay more than what is written on the price tag.
Languages
As mentioned in the beginning Canada's two official languages are English and French.
Canadian English differs from American English when it comes to spelling. Here are some examples: honour, colour, valour, doughnut, metre, centre, litre. However many Canadians still prefer to use the American spelling for some words. In my case I prefer the spelling of meter, liter, center and donut over the official Canadian ones. Canadian English is a mix of British and American English in that sense since we use both spellings interchangeably.
Here is a list of a bunch of words in their Canadian, British and American spelling. You will see that we use both British and American interchangeably.
This man has the typical Canadian accent. It is often confused with an American accent.
French
Canadian French or as it is most commonly referred to, Quebec French is different from French from France. In Ontario we learn French from France because that is the most commonly used French in the world but in Quebec they have their own dialect. It is a mixture of 1700s French with a bunch of anglicisms. The spelling for both is exactly the same but when it comes to speaking is when you really see the difference. The pronunciation, abbreviations and the slang are quite different.
Quebec
The capital of Quebec is Quebec City not Montreal.
Since I'm already on the topic of the French language I will tell you a bit about Quebec. Quebec is the part of Canada that is different from everyone else since they are the only province that speaks French while everyone else speaks English. Whenever you try to speak with the Quebecois in French it usually makes them smile and they will help you out since they know that their language is not very popular. There are however a few assholes here and there that will look down on you for looking stupid when you try to speak French but they are the minority. Quebec is a very European province in the sense that when you go there it feels like a mix of Canada and Europe based of the architecture. The Quebecois are very proud of their culture and work hard on protecting it. Quebec is the only province in Canada where American culture has not taken over the airwaves. They have passed a law called Bill 101 it made French the official language of government and of the courts in the province of Quebec, as well as making it the normal and habitual language of the workplace, of instruction, of communications, of commerce and of business.
Anglais means English in French
This bill was passed by the Parti Quebecois government, led by then-Premier René Lévesque. That's him in the above picture. The Parti Quebecois and several other Quebec parties are determined to achieve independence from Canada due to the vast differences between English speakers and French speakers. So far they have been unsuccessful. What these groups fail to recognize is that Quebec is much stronger united with Canada than it would ever be on its own for many economic reasons.
Ontario
Ontario is home to the nation's capital city, Ottawa, and the nation's most populous city, Toronto. The capital of Ontario is Toronto. Ontario has the largest population in all of Canada making up roughly 40% of all Canadians. Most people speak English and very few know French as well, however since Canada is a bilingual country all major signs must be in both English and French.
Ontario is home to major Canadian universities such as the University of Toronto, University of Waterloo, Wilfrid Laurier University, Queens University, Schulich School of Business at York University, Rotman School of Management at the University of Toronto and many others. These are just the main ones that are recognized worldwide.
The University of Toronto is the most well known university in all of Canada and is recognized internationally but it is also very difficult to study in.
Ontario is also home to the CN Tower, Rogers Center (formerely known as the Sky dome), Niagara Falls and Lake Ontario. There are many other things in Ontario but these are just the main ones. This year Toronto held the PanAm/Parapan games. It's pretty much the olympics excepts only for the Americas.
CN in CN Tower stands for Canadian National but most people just use the abbreviation
Now I'm not going to cover all the provinces and territories since that will be too long so I will cover briefly Manitoba, Alberta and British Columbia.
Manitoba
The capital of Manitoba is Winnipeg but people sometimes refer to it as Winterpeg because it gets really cold there in the winter. Manitoba is the home to many First Nations (Indigenous people). The Canadian government feels very sorry for them so it gives them plenty of benefits that most Canadians don't have such as free education, not having to pay taxes, being exempt from size and quantity restrictions for fishing and hunting, and if a reserve’s territory is lucky enough to contain natural resources such as oil or minerals, then the residents may be eligible to earn a cut of the royalties too and many more. The smartest First Nations people take advantage of all of these opportunities and even set up their own malls and casinos. While others just live off welfare cheques sent to them by the government.
It all sounds great but their living conditions are equivalent to that of a third world country due to embezzlement of funds by chiefs or lack of funding by the government when it comes to managing their reserves. They always protest against projects such as Keystone, since they feel that their land and rights are being threatened.
Alberta
The capital of Alberta is Edmonton and is home to the largest mall in North America known as the West Edmonton Mall. It even has a water park inside! There is so much there that I feel that it would take several myTakes to fully explain the grandeur of it. So here is a link to the store directory on their website.
Another honourable mention about Alberta is that it is the birthplace of the current Prime Minister Stephen Harper. He was born in Calgary, Alberta which is Alberta's largest city. Calgary is also home to the Calgary stampede which is an annual rodeo, exhibition and festival held every July.
There is currently an election campaign going on. For more on that check out my other myTake about the Canadian federal election.
Lastly Alberta is known for oil.
British Columbia
The capital of British Columbia is Victoria, while the largest city is Vancouver. Since British Columbia is right on the border with Washington State which has legalized marijuana, quite a bit of it is making it over the border. In Canada the laws around recreational use are not really enforced so it's easy to get away with it as long as you don't light up in front of a cop. British Columbia is also near the Rocky Mountains and has a lot of great places to explore. British Columbia also has some of the best universities in Canada such as the University of British Columbia and the Simon Fraser University which was ranked best in Canada in 2015.
Fun fact: the 2010 Winter Olympics were held in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Common misconceptions about Canada
Anything you have heard about Canada from How I Met Your Mother is automatically false.
1. The Mounties are your police and they all ride horses
The Mounties or as they are officially called the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) are Canada's equivalent to the FBI. So yes we do have regular cops. As for riding horses and dressing in red they only do that at festivities.
Here is what they usually look like.
Canada also has other agencies that protect the people similar to those in the US except most people (Canadians included) don't know about them.
Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) is Canada's version of the CIA. They only just recently started getting the word out about their existence since they want to hire people. I specifically used the word 'version' instead of 'equivalent' because they have much more restrictions on them than the CIA.
Communications Security Establishment (CSE) is the Canadian government's national cryptologic agency. It is responsible for foreign signals intelligence and protecting Canadian government electronic information and communication networks. CSE's mandate involves the collection of foreign signals intelligence and the protection of the computer systems and networks of the Government of Canada from mischief, unauthorized use and interference. When fulfilling either of these mandates, CSE does not direct its activities at Canadians, Canadians abroad or any persons in Canada. In fact, CSE is prohibited by law from directing its activities at Canadians anywhere or at anyone in Canada.
The Latin motto on the badge reads "providing and protecting information."
2. Canadians say "eh" and "aboot"
We rarely say "eh" and no one says "aboot". Most of us say "about" but some people say "aboat".
3. Canadians Don't Have Guns
We do have guns; it just comes with gun control. Our gun control is very detailed so much so that you have to notify the police if you intend to take a gun outside for hunting by providing the route you are taking to get there, there are special rules about keeping a firearm in the house and our magazines have less ammunition than military grade weapons. Some guns such as the AK47 are prohibited which is why most people with gun licenses have rifles.
4. Canada is socialist
Canada is and always has been capitalist and that isn't going to change any time soon. Yes we have social welfare programs but so does every other country, ours just works better. Also please look up the definition of socialist before using that word again.
5. Canada has winter 11 months of the year
No, winter is from December to March that's hardly 11 months. In Ontario April tends to be the month of rain, May and June are spring and then summer is from July to mid September.
6. Canada doesn't have an army and depends on NATO and the US for protection
Well almost every country in the world has an army us included. Canadian soldiers are so skilled that they have much fewer casualties than American soldiers. Currently Canada is a part of the US led coalition against Daesh.
Little known fact, even though Canada was not officially involved in the Vietnam War which was the reason draft dodgers came here, just as many Canadians went to the US to sign up as those that fled to Canada.
7. Health care is free
Not really, it's covered by our taxes which is why they are so high. Everyone gets an ID card in Ontario it is called OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan) and it only covers emergency and preventative health care. So you have to pay for prescription drugs and other health related expenses such as dental care but there are ways to get discounts. It's only 100% free for the First Nations people.
8. All Canadians are nice
Some of us do say sorry and excuse me but there are also quite a bit of assholes.
I hope you guys enjoyed my myTake and that it wasn't too long. Feel free to leave a comment below.
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