Body shaming has been the talk in the media for quite a while now, and for good reason. People are being shamed by others for the amount of fat that rests on their bones, and it's not okay. It just doesn't work one bit. In fact, no matter if you're overweight or skinny, nobody deserves the displeasure of being shamed just because their body offends the sight of an outside being.
Why didn't I just go out and say "fat shaming"? Well, because fat people are not the only ones who get body shamed. Whether you are overweight, healthy, or underweight, society puts pressure on what you should strive to be like. Body shaming and putting someone down because of what their outside appearance should look like is wrong, and people who do it should just stop putting others down to feel better about themselves.
I know what you're thinking, why doesn't it work? What proof do you have to support your claim? Well, I can tell you, I've been a victim of body shaming all my life, and the constant bullying for my body has only stuck in my mind for years and years, constantly making me beg the question: will I ever be good enough?
This all began in my pre school year. I was a skinny child, and my mother controlled my portion sizes regularly. She made sure that I didn't put on weight or anything, and I was very grateful for that. I was active, and I ran around a lot. I got plenty of physical activity, but there was one problem: I was bone-thin. Actually, I was thinner than the other children, which made me the target of bullying by four and five year olds. Yes, little kids can body shame as well. I remember the kids asking me if I ate and stuff. Ask a four year old, this traumatized me for a while.
Fast forward a couple years to my fifth grade years, and I became overweight. Such a scary word, huh? One of my worst displeasure about going to school was getting weighed by the school nurse. The thing about my school was that they did it in front of a group of kids, you know, so they could make fun of the heaviest kid and talk about how disgusting she is... I remember stepping on the scale, making it creak a little, and the girls watching me began to snicker. That hurt me so badly. What was wrong with me?
There was this one girl, let's call her K, who used to rub her skinniness in my face. K would stand up and pull her shirt up, and would mock my fatness, saying things such as " I'm glad I'm so skinny" and "Don't sit next to the fat girl", making some of the other mean girls laugh. She used to push me, poking my stomach to remind me that I was fat, and that I should lose weight so I would stop offending their eyes... I mean, was I really that fat? I was 150 pounds at that age, and my stomach poked out a little. Oh, I guess I was bothering them with my weight. I was a kind kid who was always quiet and just sat there and did my work. Was my weight really that bad? Was it offending my peers that much? Maybe I should just stop existing for them.
So, I missed tons of school because of this, and I was afraid to show my face there. I didn't want to offend them with my extra weight. I eventually ended up telling the teacher, which then ended the bullying. K got suspended and then eventually moved away, which relieved me a lot. Finally, I could go to school in peace.
The words that she said however, clung to me all through my school life. Food... let's just say that food became my outlet. Eating it calmed me, and soothed the pain that I felt inside. I know, you would expect me to do the opposite, but that just wasn't the case with me. I ate, and ate. I binge ate, which caused me to gain weight rapidly. I ballooned to 200 pounds, and then some during middle school. The cycled continued. I didn't go to school because of fear of the bullies, and ate more. I began taking laxatives, hoping that they would balance out the weight I gained, and I would make myself throw up, and then I would eat some more to soothe the pain. My grades declined from the As I used to receive all the time, to Bs and Cs by high school. Because of this, I was left out of some prestigious awards and such... I didn't care at the time however.
With high school, comes changing for gym class. For the realization that my grades will plummet more, I needed to change if I wanted to maintain my nearly spotless GPA. So, I get in the locker room and I pull off my shirt, and from the corner of my eye I can see girls snickering, looking me up and down, noticing every stretch mark and roll that lays on my body. My heart sank. Was I really that fat? Oh wait, maybe I should stop existing for them again, I guess. I don't want my body to become the punch line...
During this time, I stopped eating entirely. I took laxatives from my mother's medicine box and took one or two a day, lying that I was constipated so that she wouldn't get suspicious. The cycle that I developed earlier in my life came back, and I would eat a little, then throw it back up or poop it out. My weight dropped, but not enough for my liking. It stayed constant... I guess I wasn't doing enough to make it budge anymore.
During ninth grade, I met this guy without knowing what I was getting myself into. It started out good, and I thought he would be mine forever. How wrong I was. I was naive, and I didn't know how cruel the world could be. As you may have known from a previous article I have written, he was very, very emotionally abusive. During one of my arguments with him, he said that I was "as fat a Honey Boo Boo's mother". He used to lowkey body shame me, but he would never say something as bad as that. I didn't know if it was out of anger or what, but that stung... a lot. I was depressed through out my time spent with him, but that just sent me over the edge.
I self harmed myself now, even though it was stupid, I used that as another outlet, besides food I meant. I would cut myself along my stomach, and wrists. Today the scars of my idiocy still remain, and the words of my bullies can only be forgotten temporarily. After the break up, I ate out of sadness. The junk food was calming to me, and it made me feel better in a sense. Over the course from ninth to tenth grade, I gained nearly 40 pounds, which is a lot. I kept telling myself I wasn't fat, but I was, and I hated it so much.
There was one moment that became the breaking point for me. My tenth grade year. Basically, I was a walking blob of lard from my depression. All I did was ate and sat on my ass apart from going to school and such. My clothes were becoming too tight, and I started wearing a size 16-18, and XL-XXL. I cried every time I saw myself in the mirror. I couldn't even look at myself...and I didn't have the motive to do anything it. I just couldn't stop eating.
My breaking point was after our standardized tests. They gave us donuts, and of course like the "fatass" I was, I took one. They had some left over and they offered me another? I ate it. 600 calories in empty calories I just consumed right there, and I didn't think much of it at the time. Later in the day, we had an "After-test party" part in my Honors English class. There were all types of sweets: Swedish Fish, candy, chocolate, cookies, pretzels... I filled up my plate with it, and ate ALL of it... after eating, something hit me... Why was I doing this to myself? Why was I letting my bullies win over me? I couldn't let that happen...I couldn't let them win. And at the moment, I took initiative to lose weight.
What did I learn from all this? Body shaming does not work one bit. In fact, it can make things worse for them. You don't know what that person is going through, and you make a comment about what they look like on the outside for what? You think that they're just going to be like, "Huh, I am a little fat (or skinny), maybe I should lose (or gain) weight." No, it doesn't work like that unfortunately. They will become self conscious, and they may think that there is something seriously wrong with them, which will may make them depressed. They may use unhealthy outlets to channel that depression, whether it may be will self harm or food. This ends making the situation worse! Making people feel badly about their weight only does harm to the person, whether they may be fat or skinny.
You think that the person doesn't know they're overweight? You think they don't know that their lifestyle is unhealthy? Well, body shamers, thanks for pointing out the obvious to them. They know they are fat, and I can tell you, having that thrown in their face everyday gets old really quickly, but they just don't have the motive or will to get up and do something about it.Weight loss does not happen overnight, unfortunately. It takes time and effort, and reminding someone that they are fat will not give them the will to do just that. It will drag them down even more.
You know what would be much more effective? Encouragement. Yes, actually encouraging that person to lose weight may be much more effective than shaming them. Offer to be their workout buddy or something, or just leave them alone if you don't have anything nice to say to them, instead of making them feel worse.
The most important part despite this however is motivation. I came up with the will to do something about my weight on my own because I blocked the body shamers out. If you hate your body, then do something about it. Nobody can make them lose weight but themselves, and making them feel badly about their bodies doesn't help them achieve the will at all. Instead, it may make it harder for them to accept their state.
As I said before, overweight people aren't the only ones who get body shamed. Thin people do too. I've been on both sides of the body shaming spectrum, so I know how it feels. People always ask, "Do you eat?" or "You should eat more". It's not cool, and why should they be shamed? They may be going through a rough patch in their life. Maybe they have self esteem issues and lost the motive to eat for fear that they may get too "fat" for societal standards. Being skinny is perfectly healthy and considered the ideal by many, but not too skinny. Don't push someone to the point of them hating their body. Being too skinny can be threatening to the health as well as being too overweight. Why aren't both forms of body shaming seen as equally bad?
Well, my conclusion to this rant is that body shaming does NOT work out for anybody, and that everybody should have the right, whether fat or skinny, to love themselves no matter the current state of their bodies. It all comes down to people shaming others for their bodies just to be rude and mean.
Thanks for reading, and if you're experiencing body shaming, block out the haters and do you, and remember that you are too valuable to let others bring you down. <3
It was really hard for me to share this with you, and I hope it has opened your eyes a little bit and taught you some things. Have a great rest of your day. :)
"Scientific sources" to prove that it doesn't work:
A new study says that "fat shaming" doesn't work
'Fat shaming' doesn't encourage weight loss
My weight loss progess so far:
https://www.girlsaskguys.com/how-do-i-look/q1691550-weight-loss-photos-do-i-look-better
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