Everyone with half an internet has had the distinct displeasure of running across hater videos, or comments, or endless battles online between you or other people. If not online, you've met some of these people in your own life who are haters, trolls, or bullies. So how do you deal?
IGNORE YOUR BULLY Bullies, trolls, haters...they all need one important thing: you. They need you to engage so that they can continue on with their comments, their bullying, or their hating. Have you ever tried to have a one way conversation? Doesn't work (unless you're crazy). Ignoring them is often the easiest way for them to go away because they can talk on and on, but its not fun if you aren't responding which is what they want.
WAIT 24 HOURS When someone insults us, we have this urge to defend ourself and snap back. Its only natural, but take to heart, that this too shall pass. Let 24 hours pass by. Usually you'll forget it or you'll be more able to let it go or it will lose steam as you aren't responding to it and thus ignoring your bully or hater and giving them no amunition.
DODGE CHARACTER ASSASSINATION BULLETS If you have invited a discussion, expect that people will disagree with you. Despite what you may feel, you aren't always right and neither is your opinion. However, if someone starts off by name calling or insulting you, or making racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. remarks, this is not someone you should waste your time with. That's not just at the start of the conversation, but anywhere in it. If you are trying to make a point and you want someone to listen, you should know that insulting someone is never going to get you anywhere with anyone. Golden rule much?!? So as long as there is respect, you can engage if you want to, but draw the line at people who are rude or use any of the -isms, or phobes on you.
FEAR, WEAKNESS, AND JEALOUSY Real world haters, those that you engage with in real life often fall into the category of FWJ. They can't handle your success so they put yours down or they want it and can't have it, so they make it seem like its not a big deal or that you don't deserve it and they do. The person might fear for example, you leaving them behind, so they tear you down, or that the boss will like your prosal and promote you and not them, so they try and destroy you before that happens. If someone is a friend or family especially, they should support you and want nothing but the best for you. You either need to cut people out of your life that want to hold you back and keep you down in favor of those that have your back, or if you can't do that, spend as little time as possible with the haters.
THE NAMELESS AND FACELESS It's one thing if someone is in your face insulting or bullying you, but on the internet you don't know who you're talking to even with a "so called profile picture." People lie all the time; its the internet! Just imagine the person you insulted is a plain wall in front of you. You can't tell the emotion in their voice, you don't know their age or what they look like, you don't know their motives, heck, you don't even know if they are just bored and screwing around as opposed to really insulting you for some supposed purpose, so why "fight them" online. You're fighting an unknown enemy. For all you know that 30 year old man you thought you were fighting with may be a 10 year old girl, and wouldn't you feel stupid knowing you'd been fighting some kid with pigtails for 3 hours becuase they were just bored and didn't want to do their chores.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH Most haters and trolls online will go away within the first two steps, but for those that persist or move on to actual harassment especially if it is repeated, flag them, block them, report them, delete them, whatever options you have at your disposal. They think they have a right to keep saying and doing what they are doing because its the internet or they think everyone does it or they more than likely have done it in the past and not been caught, but do what you can to prevent them from contacting you or continuing with their negativity Remember, they want to engage, and you blocking them is further making it possible for that not to happen. In the real world, you may need to report someone to a teacher, an authority figure, or the police if you're getting into areas where the law is being broken. This isn't a 1980's teen movie, where the bullied are just supposed to sit by and take it. Many schools especially now have policies that prevent such things from escalting or you can encourage your school/board to write new policies. Most work places have Human Resource departments that can help address these issues especially if they are affecting your ability to work, or your work performance.
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