Men Are Weak If They Cry

[Stacyzee]

Society teaches boys not to cry or show their feelings, then they act surprised when some men act heartless.

In our society, women are encouraged to be expressive with their emotions, while men are told to bottle it up. If a guy possesses traits such as: sensitive, or easily moved, he is de-masculinized. It is almost as if, at that moment he is stripped of his manhood and looked at as weak.
"Sissy", "Gay", "Wimp", "Wuss", and "Womanly", are just a few of the many names that are directed towards men that are in touch with their emotions.
In rare circumstances, a woman may also be ridiculed for displaying her emotions, although that happens, her femininity is never in question.
But why is a man's masculinity?

If I were a man, I'd weigh my options.
I'd ask myself, "What image would I like to project to people I am in contact with on a everyday basis? Is that someone that is perceived as weak, or someone that seems tough and has it altogether?"

I would present myself to the world, as someone that's tough and not easy to break.
I'd hide my emotions, even when the occasion calls for it.
The only feelings I would display were those of joy, happiness, excitement, and anger.

Ohh, how displaying my anger makes me seem so tough!
When the world has beaten me up, spit me out, and even when I am at its mercy, I still wouldn't cry!
I'd be "strong" because "that's how a man is supposed to be."

Is that really how a man is supposed to be?

Or has society tainted our perception?

Expressing emotions shows that you have the ability to feel, the ability to be touched, and the ability to show that you are human.
Parading around as if you are a programmed robot as become the acceptable and expected role for a man.

What happens when this man has had enough and all of his bottled up emotions come to the surface?
Does anyone want to deal with all of the ugly then?
Society will turn around and say, well he should have let his feelings out, he should have spoken to someone about the way he feels.
How could he? If he is portrayed as weak if he does do just that?
Lets alter the double standard, that tells us that it is only acceptable that women cry and men do not.

The change starts with you!
Lets do what is "natural" rather than what is "programmed".

Crying does not mean a person is weak, but it means a person has a heart.

[Anonymous]

If you don't typically cry, then hold an onion close enough to your eyes to trigger tears. It may be painful tears, but there you go, tears.

[Stacyzee]

I love a sense of humor to a serious topic :D

[Waffles731]

Mr. T once said, "Mama said never to trust a man who can't cry."

[Waffles731]

You also might like this
www.artofmanliness.com/.../

[Waffles731]

Beowulf also cried
So did Jesus
Odyseuss

[Waffles731]

EVEN JACK BAUER
media.giphy.com/media/hI7hLr2PMzoJO/giphy.gif

[Waffles731]

I think its the end of season 3 where after all the action is done he just sits in his car and cries

[Waffles731]

No its season 4

[Rawrzz]

"Tainted our perception." I think your perception is the one that's been tainted.

Men had to be men. Otherwise we would none of us exist. Otherwise they would not have the strength and fortitude to burn in a house fire while saving their wives and children. Otherwise, they would be unable to take gunshots to the chest to protect their family from a raging psychopath with a semi automatic rifle. Otherwise, they would be unable to use their body as a shield to protect their wives from tornadoes. Otherwise, they would be unable to drown with the boat, leaving room for the women and children to flee to the lifeboats. Otherwise, they would not be able to go to war when the time came that it was necessary.

Their emotions *have* to be stunted. If they see themselves as valuable and self-preservationists, they would no longer preform the duties of being male. And there are duties of being male.

Furthermore, there's this going feminist trend that the ideal man is a "woman in a man's body", as if men are supposed to be women. Many, many women extol the feminine virtues; but, in practice, the vast majority of women want *men* who have *manly* traits. You make this appear as if you are supporting males, but in actuality, it's a horrid insult to masculinity; the claim: female traits are superior in every way, for men.

Coddling men is the worst thing possible. Creating a society of self-important, non-sacrificial pansies would not be beneficial to society. This just aids to the increasing feminization of the society. And yeah. Sorry. Female traits are not good *for males*. No one twist my words and say I'm attacking female traits, again. I'm not. I'm attacking female traits *in men*.

Particularly when society doesn't value them as they do females. Even if they did develop that level of self-importance and *sensitivity* (said with scorn) society would not support it, so that would just lead to a complicated mix of cognitive dissonance. "But, I'm supposed to be important." No bitch. You're supposed to suck it up and do your fucking job. You are the support role.

You really want to make all men women? How fucking arrogant is that. The further demonization of male attributes. Males have a role. And they have to perform that role. And in all honesty, *women want them to perform their role*.

That's how I see it.

[Anonymous]

You mean well but what you are posting is very damaging, erroneous information. I hate it think they are making men better by giving them advice that will ultimately make women respect them LESS. I hope to God you don't work (or plan to work) in early childhood education.

There only a few places in life where it is necessary for a man to cry. This would be funerals, sporting events (major ones), birth of a son/daughter and very exceptional romantic situations. As for the rest of the situations it must be kept private. A man must put his game face because at a DNA level (sorry Political Correctness does not, nor ever will supercede DNA) men and women subconsciously do NOT RESPECT overly emotional. Period. I wish it was different but it's not the case.

I'll start off by saying I'm naturally sensitive, emotional guy. I have cried and got visibly broken down in public on many embarrasing situations. I hated myself for it but I couldn't control the tears. However I got better at controlling it with age but it still creeps up on me at times. When I was younger I was told my liberal teachers, mother and overly nice friends told me it was okay, even good to cry. I would somehow live longer for being emotional. I still had this problem in HS and my early 20s. Although I had some people appreciate me, loved and supported me I ended up hit hard were it hurts the most: i. e. getting ROMANTICALLY rejected women do NOT truly respect me for unnecessary crying. Women would automatically place me in a different category if she saw me cry and/or get weak emotionally.

The best example was my ex. After dating for over a year and breaking up we met up 3 weeks later. I had never, ever gotten emotional in front of her for our entire relationship. However some brief small talk I looked her right in the eyes and said "I miss talking to you" and my eyes watered up. Her responses was "With exes I don't talk because it's weird". That cruel response still haunts me to this stay. She was NOT the first woman to do this to me.

For you young men out there, if you want get a girl to like you and HAVE to be tough. Don't be boring, don't stupid but do not come off as another WOMAN. Crying will award you that label. You may be misguided into thinking that being a women's "friend" will get you were you want... but you will ending screwing yourself.

Man up!

[Stacyzee]

I am not saying men should cry on every occasion . Not sure where you are drawing that implication from. I am solely saying that instead of men pretending everything is fine , it's okay to let it out instead of putting on an act to be acceptable in the eyes of society.
the key to life is a healthy balance.
No one wants someone that cries over everything.
No one wants someone that's stone cold either.

[Stacyzee]

I'm also very familiar with you as well, you tend to follow me in my mytakes making this same comment. Are you sure you are not a fan? You are very misinformed and in fact bitter to even flip my information the way that you did.

[Opinion Owner]

I feel there is a huge deal of misinformation that is brainwashing and harming young men out there. Whenever I see anything that encourages boys/young men to behave in way that makes them less masculine (unnecessary emotion i. e. crying is one of them) I get angry because I know it will set them up for failure romantically. I say all this because I was one of those young sensitive "nice" guys that got screwed over big time. Women cannot teach boys on how to become men. Unfortunately our public education, media and hollywood is sending these kids warped messages that don't work in real life.

Anyway I'm not accusing you of some of the issues I mentioned above. However I do believe men need to be masculine if they want to be truly successful in their romantic endeavors. Unfortunately our society is not helping them out at all.

[Mesonfielde]

Truth be told, emotional self-control digs your own grave romantically regardless of your gender. If you cry or whine each day and night, people just won't put up with your behavior. Guys tend to get more swayed by infatuation, but that's the type of person they break up with and say she was a psycho bitch.

Emotions themselves aren't a problem. I used to repress my emotions, all of them; it hurt me really badly in my social life and my internal self as well. I lacked empathy because I couldn't understand even my own emotions.

But I do agree. Showing all your emotions with no restraints is as naive as trusting anyone blindly. It's a weakness that people can, and therefore possibly will exploit the first time they need such opportunity.

However, we shouldn't force people to become stoic either.

... and linking emotional volatileness to sex is just ridiculous. There are many guys who resolve conflicts with their fists, they're just as immature as the women who stir drama.

[Opinion Owner]

there is a RIGHT way for man to be emotional and still be respected and a WRONG way. Trust me I have always struggled to keep my emotions in check (like I said was a cryer). But men are better off going stoic than the other direction. It's sad, but true.

[Azara]

Everyone is taught it is weak to express emotion. Everyone is also taught Women should not be held to the same standard as men, bc they are weak.

When men are told men should not cry (like women supposedly do), the message is not about men it is about and against Women. The threat is Men will be punished for lowering themselves. The attack is towards Women, who regardless of their actual behavior are slated as 'Weak'.

mean act cold because they get rewarded for ur. If they wanted to express themselves they could. Its a choice not a compulsion. Nothing prevents a person from apposing boxes they are stuffed in5o. Women have had to do that for centuries. The same men who feel pressured not to show feeing will attack Women for showing (whether they actually do show or do not show) feeling. Because not helps him feel and appear distant from that which he can not be reduced to. Woman.

Expression is a right not a privilege. If people was freedom of expression they gave to stand up for it. not be given permission. And they must be willing to let go of the illusion of power that comes with silencing the self... Ultimately a repressed society is totalitarian and will crumble. Ironically america prides itself on legal freedom but practices cultural suppression.

[heavensgift2girls]

At first I thought this was going to be another crap take about how "real men" aren't afraid of showing their emotions. So commonly we are expected to keep enduring the same hardship, and act like it doesn't bother us in order to prove that we are actually men. i am pleased that instead you actually addressed the real issue about how society needs to start letting men show their emotions without judgment. Instead we get shamed for showing them, and shamed for not wanting to show them.

Despite what society says about it being okay for a man to show his emotions, the way society acts is completely different. Another common shaming word that is used to make men seem weak for our emotions is "intimidated". It seems like anytime a guy gets his feelings hurt, or is offended, someone is accusing the guy of being intimidated by something in order to invalidate his emotions, by implying that he must be weak or cowardly for being intimidated, as oppose to being justified for feeling the way he does.

[Spiorad_Aisce]

Great take - I don't have the numbers before but in percentage terms I think that men are the larger group who successfully attempt suicide - I firmly believe society's insistence that "Real Men Don't Cry", "Suck It Up", "Man Up" or "Grow A Pair" are a huge factor in these phenomena - Fortunately I think it is changing for the better with more awareness of mental health issues but men are a long way behind women when it comes to naturally relaying their problems or dealing with them.
That said huge disclaimer there are emotionally open men and reticent women plus many women who have problems that drive them towards committing suicide but for the sake of the take we are dealing in generalisms.
I believe it is entirely possible to be strong and emotional at the same time. Retreating into a extreme state of either does you more harm than good, the important thing in life is to figure out when it is okay to be emotional and when you need to be strong. I say this both to genders, men and women can be emotional and strong in their own way. Being strong doesn't always mean bulging biceps. Being a 100 lb single mother raising a family can require just as much strength but in a different way.

[RalphBlack]

I think that there is a time for a man to cry in front of his woman and a time to be strong for his woman.

Most likely, a woman in a relationship or who is married to a man will be emotional when she feels the way that she feels (for whatever reason) and it is important for her man to not cry during that point.

The man has to be her Rock if the going gets tough. It doesn't mean that the guy has to be cold hearted, though!

Straight men are naturally suppose to have more testosterone than women so (scientifically proven), if the guy has the balanced testosterone then he will make a woman feel safe by being strong when her hormones make her cry during a sad and difficult part of life.

Also, if the man cries rarely, then that means the woman knows that it is a very serious situation.

Men aren't built to cry constantly. Thats like cutting a $5 bill in have with scissors and thinking that you split it into $2.50 each.

If you really want $2.50 each then you have to wait for a moment where it is able to have $2.50 each.

Maybe your buddy had 4 dollar bills and 4 quarters (because the time was right) and you both swapped. Then you both are happy.

You can't just cut all of your $5 bills in half and expect it to still be valuable.

It has to make logical sense for the man to cry But not crying all the time won't mak him cold hearted unless he is actually cold hearted or he doesn't know how to treat a woman and he thinks that is how you are really supposed to be to make her attracted to stay with him.

[Bliss-taylor]

I've always heard that "real men don't cry" but I'm pretty sure that's changing. Been changing for a while. Every guy I know well enough or I have dated I've seen cry more than once. My husband has cried when we got in a really bad argument once because he thought I would leave him. He's cried over family members dying. He's been physically hurt and his eyes got all misty. We moved out of state from his family when we were leaving he cried quite bit when hugging his little sister and brother bye. He doesn't cry/tear as much as I do but he's open with his feelings with me from the beginning. But for instance I stub my toe I tear up and curse. My husband just curses. He didn't have a father to raise him. He was raised by his mother and never was told not to cry. He told me that, it's been a conversation we once had. So it's not just because it's drilled into men's head at a young age to bottle it up maybe sometimes it's just because men are in fact different than women. Maybe it's all that testosterone that makes their emotions a bit stronger than most women.

[Mesonfielde]

Suppression of all emotions is detrimental. Emotions themselves are not a weakness, it is a reaction to external stimuli. If we do not perceive and react in any way, we'd just be the same as if we were dead.

However, the way we show and express emotions does require control. Society cannot rely on the volatility of extreme self-expression such as aggression, violence, or debilitating sadness.

[talloak]

Very good points. Society puts intense pressure on men to not cry publicly. This is associated with losing control and ultimately impotence. Granted, it's an advantage to show self-control in a crisis. But society pushes this to extremes such that men are afraid to show any "non-manly" emotions. The issue goes way back. Consider this from MacBeth where MacDuff cries upon hearing his family was slaughtered:

Malcolm: Dispute it like a man.
MacDuff: I shall do so, But I must also feel it as a man.

Ironically, I believe that true strength lies in being who you are regardless of what society expects of you. That includes crying on occasion. Not crying because of fear of what others think is still acting on fear.

[aficionado]

I cry sometimes, even if I am in public. I have issues, and I don't have to be afraid to shed MY OWN FUCKIN' tears. I don't need anyone's fucking approval or permission for that. People who perceive me as 'weak' for this reason, can piss off back to their planet. Those are the people I would avoid like plague anyway.

[Nik1hil]

A women can never get to those words! Tell me love! You stole those words from Internet...
If you want to start this change start by your child, be a mother who allows her boy to cry and and does not let her man or anyone say him, hey ' Shut up and be a man'...
Lot of damage done here... Out of repair... Especially when the damage was done by the only source of love and emotional support a kid demands, his mom...
Glad I didn't let that happen with my younger brother... thanks for enlightening others...

[godfatherfan]

The problem is this...
Whether she admits it or not, a woman wants to feel protected by her man. she wants to feel safe. She wants a man that is strong, even if it isn't physically strong. Unless you have a long history and a solid base to your relationship, as soon as a woman see's you cry, it is over. she will never look at you the same again. Now women can scream and yell that isn't true and they don't need yada yada yada, but it is just part of what makes a woman. I knew my ex wife about 8 years before she saw me cry the first time. If you met a guy and he started bawling his eyes out on your first date because someone wore the same shirt as him, or his nail broke, how likely is a 2nd date? Yes that is an extreme example but still.
I actually yearn for those days. I am much older now. after some intense therapy to really work on some things I can end up crying over a commercial on tv now, it is seriously fucking annoying as hell.

[SammyGurl]

No, men are not weak for showing emotion. Whether that be grief or being so happy that it brings a tear to the eye. That's a trait that I find attractive.
I've shared this before but it's a good illustration (to me) of a man who isn't afraid to show emotions. My Dad is a retired career U. S. Marine Corps officer, he is tough as nails overall a strong man. I've seen him openly cry at funerals, she'd a tear for a sad movie, openly weep and express grief when one of his beautiful English Buudog companions had to be put to sleep, he also got a little teary eyed when he walked his only daughter (me) down the aisle at my wedding. I don't think that sounds weak at all, in fact I look up to my Daddy for being in touch with his emotions.

[RobAtomic]

yep... isn't that something to think about... Age plays a role in how much we are accepting of men crying, fathers want to portray a strong invincible role model for their sons, I get that in the past we as a society had very narrow roles for everyone to play and maybe it was out of necessity however your generation and the next and those that follow will make this world a different place, I've seen a dramatic change just in the past 10 years and the kids born today have an amazing sense of understanding that and the opportunity to develop their thought processes to consider the deep complexities of life true there are those who will never seek to bring about positive change but even they are contributing to this awareness... so, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to cry if I want to... lol good topic...

[Anonymous]

Reaction after reading title:

pipocamusical.com.br/.../...atthew-mcconaughey.gif

Reaction after reading whole thing:

img.buzzfeed.com/.../...nced-3654-1442876077-6.gif

[Steelcore1085]

It's really funny how women are complaining that men try to be "too masculine" and "don't show their emotions", and write things like this, trying to understand men and saying " it's okay to cry".

But do you know who demonizes and insults men the most when men actually break down at that point? It's been women who demonize men whenever it becomes too much and we break down. It turns you women off, and you say "oh, stop being such a baby", or "man up", or "quit being a bitch", and you think lowly of us. Sure, other men do that too, but women get pissed off when a man they know breaks down and cries. We're taught by mostly women (and sometimes men) that crying makes us look too feminine and that women don't want to have an emotional man.

Thanks, ladies. It's mostly your fault.

[marksmith311]

Well said, feminism has taught women to just knock men or insult us and belittle us.

[Steelcore1085]

@marksmith311 Exactly...

[Anonymous]

Most adult women don't cry around other people either... So, I've never quite understood this comparison.

I think helping people - esoecially starting with children - identify their actual emotions and work through them productively is better than simply saying "It's fine to show your emotions."

In many situations, it's not great to break down (trying to stay calm in front of kids, trying to be professional, trying not to be overcome with rage). Likewise, if a person can't clearly identify what they're feeling, they won't know how to keep it from boiling over.

www.menshealth.com/.../men-and-their-emotions

[Shorty1991]

Society got it wrong, everyone gets emotional and you shouldn't feel like you have to hide your feelings just to look tough. Let it all out and have a good cry about it when you need to, its a good way of getting things off your chest. It could be due to a shit day at work, split upfrom your partner, or maube youve lost a loved one. We all greive, it mskes us human beings, not weak. Who cares what people think? They are just hypocrites if they tell you that they never cry.

[hazoplmeught]

Men shouldn't be crying that often, that isn't masculine. Only acceptable if females cry often. If someone dies around you it is acceptable or something on that level, but a man should be strong and not a sissy. A lot of women want a comforter and how will you comfort someone if you are sobbing with them too? Guys should cry for big things, not for every little thing

[KLTheErudite7229]

Guys and men are allowed to cry, but know why before crying. I also believe that after the cry, make sure you learn from it, so that you don't have to cry for same reason again.

It takes a lot of courage for a man/guy to cry, especially when he needs to ignore the criticism of being "weak" by crying.