Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

Anonymous

My god people, the stuff these men are up to these days is just too much, okay? Ima take you guys through this nice and slow, and I'll use plenty of pictures for your stupid asses so it's easier for you to stay focused.

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

Guys are sketchy creatures, they just have no idea what the hell they want.

FIRST DEMAND: Look good for us ladies😛 #boners🍆

And and what do we girls do? We oblige.

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

We want to be sexy for you guys. we love being desirable and the attention we get from you and the jealousy we get from other girls, so let's just be honest about that. We get what we want, you get tents in your shorts and sets of lovely scenery😏

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

So easily amused aren't they? It's natural, it's ok, you don't have to be embarrassed. Deep down we want you all flustered😉 We want sex, you want sex, we love to tease, and you get frustrated but...meh. It sounds like a legit way to do business right? I guess not cause what do we get instead of a symphony of lovers plowing each other to cloud 9? We get this...

SECOND DEMAND: Cover up, you slut! Stop acting like your sexuality and free expression are things that matter!

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

So wait, what? Hypocrite much? You guys as a whole can't seem to make up your minds whether you want to ogle us, or burn us on pyres for...letting you ogle us. You're like those fat entitled cunts who want to stuff themselves with cake and then tell other people they've had enough. How dare we force you to stare at our soft, jiggly, perky tits oh you poor, triggered babies😢 I mean, it's not like you could look somewhere else, that's just a preposterous notion.

In all seriousness, what's actually going on here? I'll tell ya, but it's a complicated phenomenon. Imagine the entire population of adult men in the world as a single brain.

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

With a brain as our model for analogy, it's the brain of a religious person. I know it's a convenient segue but stay with me people I'll tie it all together. The mind of a religious person can be described as many things, but in this instance I'll call it a tumultuous shitstorm of guilt and self loathing. They are told constantly to deny the flesh, accept the concept of original sin, and many unnaturally chaste doctrines.

The result?

They masturbate to porn, then cut themselves and beg the gods not to cast them into hell. They love the sight of a pair of double D jugs held together with nothing but a bikini top, then they go to confession and cry to their priests about how broken and sinful they are. It's a system of binge indulgence and then intense regret and sadness. Not unlike someone with bipolar disorder, this is a mental health issue.

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

So, sticking to the brain concept, we have conflicting ideas inside the brain of mankind. I'd say a majority of men are ok with us girls being girls. They like the chase, they to look, they like to see the sex appeal and brightens their day. These men, so long as they're still civilized about it, have a healthy attitude towards sex. But there's also a sizable number of men who call natural sexuality shameful, slutty, and where they can they make it illegal to express any fraction of it in any way whether it be attire or action. Now you know why I brought religion earlier because I'm looking at you Iran, Pakistan, the Middle East. Don't think I'm singling you out, because I'm also looking at you Catholics, Pentecostals, the fundamentalist Christian Ray comfort motherfuckers out there.

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

Stupid☝🏼️

Also in nations where the legal system actually protects people's rights, you'll find communities of all the aforementioned idio--i mean-- religious peoples form mafias of thought police who keep there people in check. I've experienced first hand. I've been snitched on by people from my church who saw me IN A DIFFERENT CITY and had my parents tear my room apart till they found it. A pair of daisy dukes, the horror😱 And then after I had blood in my panties, from the swollen black welts in my asscheeks and not my period, they threatened me with hell. So mature and caring aren't they?

Anyway, so we have plenty of guys with these WRONG ideas about sexuality, we have normal guys, and we have guys in the middle. The brain of mankind is not agreeing with itself.

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

And in my opinion, we have religion to blame for it. Not exclusively, but it's a big part of what's wrong with a lot of things. It's overreaching and utterly stupid influence sticks itself into many political and social issues...and altar boys arses. This is a roast Catholics. You knew it was coming. Unlike how you "know" the host turns into the body of Jesus, because you know nothing of the sort.Seriously who do you think you are? This isn't skyrim you tards, you can't just spam stoneflesh until your alteration is high enough to turn bread into flesh. That's not how reality works, but you just don't know that yet.

In fact, knowing anything has never been your strong suit has it? You'd rather just have faith in things wouldn't you?

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

Well that just got dark didn't it? Nothing like starving children to make you think about what the fuck your prayers do after they leave your mouths in the form of sound energy. Do you know? How 'bout you Muslims, what do your prayers do? Mormons got an answer for me? Jews? Anyone? Fine I'll tell you what they do.

Are ya ready kids?

No, are you really ready though?

Sure?

drumroll please😏

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)

Well, I think you've had enough so I'll have some mercy. Something that God would never do for any malachites, Egyptians, or any of the other people he had Joshua slaughter. Jus' sayin'.

if you liked my roast then hit the thumbs up👍🏼 if you're butt hurt then stop taking it up the ass😜

Roasting Men and Religion: Shoving Both Into the Fire (SATIRE)
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