What is Rape Culture in America? (Trigger Warning for Victims)

[jesshkah]

Please note that this take is purely commentary on what I personally believe is rape culture. I understand that this term is something that is defined differently by everyone and like most things, cannot operate under a black and white glass.

This Take is prompted by Brock Turner's release from prison today. For those of you who have not heard of the incident, Brock Turner was a 20 year old swimmer who swam for Stanford University in California CA before his arrest. He was found guilty of sexually assaulting an unconscious woman, with intent to commit rape of an intoxicated or unconscious person; penetrating an intoxicated person with a foreign object; and penetrating an unconscious person with a foreign object. Even without a rape charge (which in California is specifically defined as penetration with a penis) these hold a maximum jail sentence of 14 years, but he was sentenced to 6 months, and released in 3.

Brock Turner was defended by his father saying that 20 minutes of "action" should not define the rest of his life and that a full jail sentence would impact his progression and future opportunities. With no indication or recognition of the impact on the victim and how those 20 minutes for her, likely will affect the rest of her life. That is rape culture, that even in this confirmed case of sexual assault, more consideration and pardons were given to the perpetrator than to the victim. Even in his statements in court, there was no recognition of wrongdoing aside from admittance that he was drunk. An unconscious woman cannot give consent.

So what is rape culture exactly? The best definition I've come across, is: Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture includes jokes, TV, music, advertising, legal jargon, laws, words and imagery, that make violence against women and sexual coercion seem so normal that people believe that rape is inevitable. A quick google search brings up pages and pages of memes that make a joke of rape.

To me, this is what rape culture is:

Rape culture is when a man expects his wife to have sex with him whenever he wants because they're married, and he's entitled to it regardless of whether or not she wants it.

Rape culture is when a victim is asked whether or not he or she wore anything or said anything that could have been construed as an invitation rather than understanding that they had explicitly said no, or never actually agreed in any way or form to sexual activities.

Rape culture is when a partner in a relationship is coerced into losing their virginity early or having sex with their partner unwillingly because that's how "relationships should be" and are pressured into sex in order to "save their relationship".

Rape culture is when girls in schools are sent home for wearing leggings or shorts/skirts that don't go past their knees because it can be "distracting" for boys.

Rape culture is when society is more focused on teaching women how not to get raped rather than teaching men not to rape.

Rape culture is assuming that men cannot get raped. For me, any unwanted and forced sexual acts are considered rape. Whether a man or a woman commits it, is completely irrelevant.

Rape culture is when more than half of real rape cases are not reported because of fear of the process the victim will be put through, the interrogation, the ridicule, the distrust of the system.

Rape culture is when people use "raped" as a term of achieving significant victory in video games or sports.

Rape culture is when people refuse to date victims and see them as "broken goods", perpetuating the idea that there is something inherently wrong with them. Victims did not chose to be victims.

Rape culture is defining “manliness” as dominant and sexually aggressive and “womanliness” as submissive and sexually passive.

Rape culture is turning a blind eye and conditioning ourselves to acceptance because in other cultures "it's normal".

Rape culture is assuming when you go out that every nicely dressed guy or girl is looking for a hookup or someone to go home with at the end of the night. Rape culture is what I've personally seen going out in New York, at the end of the night, at 3am, when all the guys who didn't get a girl in the club mill around outside and chat up every single girl that walks out trying to take them home.

Rape culture was when I was called a bitch for turning down a man's sexual advances after I had said NICELY that I was not interested and I had a boyfriend and I was out only to celebrate a friend's birthday, and also having him tell me that I've probably never been fucked right but he could show me what it'd be like.

Rape culture is when I'm dancing with a guy and on multiple occasions and with multiple people, they've tried to finger me under my dress and pull me back when I walked away.

Rape culture is all of these things and more, and needs to change. How? That's a discussion I welcome in comments.

#BATTLEROYALE #TeamRJ

[legs_n_sheets]

There is NO such thing as rape culture. No healthy men are going around in the streets looking for women to rape. Do you even know how ridiculous is that?

Rape is a horrible thing, and I'm not denying that. But that 6% of people who are actual rapists, and potential rapists are sick. They have a mental illness, and you can't put the fault of twisted fucks on top of every other men in the world. Men aren't sociopaths and psychopaths, and men do not care about forcing someone for sex. It contradicts biology, and male validation. You are projecting your fear towards a whole gender, instead of the 6% of perpetrators.

By saying there's something like "rape culture" you are openly being a misandrist.

Also, your concept of rape is absolutely WRONG, rape is to force someone physically to the act of sex, that's what rape is. The act of coercion towards someone to have coitus. These concepts you're throwing here are ignorant and ridiculous. You're being too fucking ridiculous here.

If you want to take an actual strong pose against rape, and legal treatment towards it blame the system, not a whole gender. Teach other girls to be careful whenever they go out. To be in company of big groups, with other responsible people. Do not go out drinking as a habit, but rather a once-in-a while-thing, specially if they have predisposition to substance abuse.

There's no such thing as "rape culture". Being rape/molested is one of the risks people take when going out to partying. Car accidents, being mugged, being assaulted with knife or handguns, etc. All are risks of walking/driving around while abusing substance. There is NO such thing as rape culture.

Rape culture is another of the many myths feminism has brought into society, and just as we have been successful to STOP the "Gender wage gap" myth, we need to stop this one. We need to cut the bullshit and stop anyone who even mentions these things right at the spot. We cannot let these lies be "generally accepted" by other people.

YOUR mentality, and your ignorant claims have made society this way. This is the modern woman, and it's a disgrace and a shame:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX6ZUNubSp8

You know, We DO live in a rape culture...

Innocent men are getting raped by double standards and devilish women accusing them of crimes they didn't commit.

[Fearless_banana]

Lmfao was dying at Hue Mungus.

[legs_n_sheets]

@Fearless_banana "he's pointing at his privates!"

[jacquesvol]

@legs_n_sheets

"Being rape/molested is one of the risks people take when going out to partying."
You correctly described rape culture.

[legs_n_sheets]

@jacquesvol By that logig there is also accident culture, mugging culture, fall into cliffs culture, car cashing culture, etc... A potential risk doesn't equal a culture. What you do under the effects of booze, or what a few sickos do in a night out does not equal a general culture.

[legs_n_sheets]

logic *

[jacquesvol]

@legs_n_sheets considering rape as a normal risk while partying is trivializing rape.

[legs_n_sheets]

@jacquesvol I never said "normal". Nice try at putting words in my mouth. One thing is saying there's a potential risk than saying "normal risk".

[jacquesvol]

You did put in the same category as car accidents, being mugged, being assaulted with knife or handguns. Car accident's aren't criminal, mugging and armed assault are smaller crimes than rape. That's trivializing rape.

[legs_n_sheets]

@jacquesvol Right, I categorized all as risks. Now you're changing your argument into categorizing what's criminal and what is not which isn't the question here.

Again, all of those things are potential risks, all eventualities. I never said it was normal, I never said which is worse and whatnot. Stop trying to force counter arguments just because you failed in attemoting to prove rape as a form of "culture".

[jacquesvol]

@legs_n_sheets
When people stop perceiving rape as a serious crime, why would they refrain? That's the problem: a start to accepting and even condoning it.

[legs_n_sheets]

@jacquesvol Gosh, you're so stubborn. No one has ever said rape isn't a crime. And who the fuck condones it, really?

No one's around telling rapists it's ok to rape, and no one, except radical feminists, take rapen for granted. Seriously, there aren't groups of men encouraging anyone to rape.

That's the faulty logic that the take owner, just like anyone else claiming there's a rape culture. That they impose false concepts of what rape is, and then claim all men endorse rape. The average person (men and women) does not commit rape, nor endorse it. Period.

[jacquesvol]

@legs_n_sheets
The average person doesn't commit rape. He has surprise sex or forces her a bit , because she wanted it clearly.
Indeed :(

[legs_n_sheets]

@jacquesvol Straw man arguments. You're still implying things I haven't said, while claiming the average male can be a rapist. If you wish to keep believing in emotional fallacies then it's up to you.

[jacquesvol]

@legs_n_sheets
No strawman. You're just downplaying rape.

[legs_n_sheets]

@jacquesvol Right. You were unable to prove me wrong in that there's no such thing as rape culture, so now "I'm downplaying rape". That's the usual emotional response from liberals and feminists.

[xDocilexFaeriex]

Mr... is it wrong that I want to look sexy or don't mind attention from guys? Is it wrong that I like being sexually submissive? Yet, because of all these myths I'm afraid to go to parties... I don't want to live in fear of rape... help me <3

[jacquesvol]

@xDocilexFaeriex
Some idiots think the length of your skirt gives them a right to rape. And bystanders will say "she was asking for it" ... and deny there's a culture' justifying rape, of course.

[xDocilexFaeriex]

Luckily... the media is just bad...

[feminismisnarcissism]

@jacquesvol meanwhile there's girls everywhere claiming rape when it didn't happen, and they ALL get away with it. So, that's a bigger problem. Next there's women teacher pedophiles ALSO getting away with it left and right. Solve those 2 bigger problems and you can start crying again :)

[Anonymous]

Here's what I feel. Rape is a crime. Rapists are criminals.
With that being established, since when have you known laws, education, or punishment to stop all or even the majority of criminals?

People really need to start seeing rapists for what they really are: CRIMINALS, not just general men who haven't been taught right by their mothers.

It's not your job to somehow teach rapists to not rape. To somehow teach men who view women as nothing more than sexual objects to be respectful gentlemen. As a citizen, your job is to PROTECT YOURSELF. You protect your house by locking its doors and windows, don't you? You lock your car, don't you? You're cautious when out at night or when at an outdoor ATM, aren't you? Then why, oh why, OH WHY, do you feel like it's not your responsibility to protect yourself from sexual harassment or abuse?

If rape is a crime, the rapists need to be treated like criminals, and the potential victims need to take the necessary precautions to prevent the crime from happening. PERIOD.

[Opinion Owner]

Because no amount of laws, educational programs, or punishment stops real criminal activity.

[mikemx55]

WoW, why doesn't this get more upvotes?
Right on point... just saying..

[lumos]

Except that the problem is that a lot of people don't understand consent. Ever seen the video Tea Consent? If people understood consent perfectly, that video would have never existed. If people understood that consent can be given AND taken away at any point, your opinion would make sense. But it doesn't make sense, because there are plenty of aspects to consent that PLENTY of guys don't understand. Seemingly normal, healthy, happy and fun guys. Not all rapists are evil monsters who lurk in dark alleways. They can be your next door neighbor or childhood friend.
Teaching people the importance of consent (i. e. "not to rape") is just as important as teaching people how to defend themselves.

[mikemx55]

@lumos When robbers don't understand that you don't want them to come into your house, what do you do? Lock the doors, and call the cops.

Or do you think it's easier to open the door, and say "Hello, today I am going to teach you that you cannot enter my house without consent" To which point, you'll be nock on the ground and still have your house stolen.
They don't care about what you have to teach them.

And sure you can try, but sex is not like robbery, arousal makes brains think differently. A lot differently, and many times reasoning can't overcome the pleasure driven actions. That is simply how it works.

Taking a Sneakers commercial line: "You're not you when you're horny"

[mikemx55]

One can think: I am a man, and I will behave like this this and that. I will not do this that and that, because it is wrong. But this happens in a normal state of mind. Where no pressure comes from reality, and it's just an engraving of some sentences in our minds.
Arousal makes it a very very very different scenario. Either you accept it or not.. it simply does.

[Botchie]

@mikemx55 You robber example exactly proves the 2nd point she was trying to make. It's just as important as teaching people to defend themselves. If you hear a robber, are you gonna stand there and let them take your stuff or are you gonna shoot/stab/fight them out of your place? The robber could be long gone by the time police show up. She's 100% right that we need to reinforce the fact that people need to learn how defend themselves in the event that someone acts without consent.

[mikemx55]

@Botchie my answer was to lumos, and not OP

[Regulatus]

Legitimate rape is as rare as hen's teeth.

[lumos]

@mikemx55 did you even read what I posted? Lots of seemingly normal guys rape because they don't understand consent. They don't understand that just because she promised sex yesterday it doesn't mean she wants it today. Just because she had sex yesterday doesn't mean she wants it again. Just because you're having sex, it doesn't mean you can keep going if she says "no" or "stop" at any time during sex. Just because she's drunk and dancing in a sexy way, it's not an invitation to sex. Even if she's kissing you it's not an invitation to sex. Just because she's your wife/gf it doesn't mean she owes you sex. Like I said there are plenty of aspects of consent that some people consider "gray" or "blurred" (like the song Blurred lines, which was a hit) and that needs to change. Lots of normal guys think that the above examples are ok. Not every rape is aggressive and not every rapist is mentally ill. Understand that.

[goaded]

"It's not your job to somehow teach rapists to not rape. To somehow teach men who view women as nothing more than sexual objects to be respectful gentlemen. As a citizen, your job is to PROTECT YOURSELF."

That's right. It's society's job to teach rapists to not rape (and it's not hard; the Tea Consent video shows that, and I come from a very Tea Culture nation).

But here's a thing. That girl or woman who thinks you're creepy (guys), is doing exactly that. She does not know, she cannot know that you are a Nice Guy when you ask her on a date out of the blue. The safest thing she can do is to avoid you.

If you get to know her first, enjoy similar pastimes and have similar interests, she still probably won't want to date you, but maybe she'll have a friend or two she might not worry about introducing you to. And, maybe, if you're a nice guy all the time to all of them, they may have friends whose friends may want to date you.

We all want love, we are not entitled to it.

[mikemx55]

@lumos well then, most of those rapes are bullshit. I'm outta here

[lumos]

@mikemx55 what do you mean by that?

[Botchie]

@lumos Just remember it goes both ways. Don't just assume the victim is always female. Otherwise, you're spot on.

[lumos]

@Botchie no fucking shit

[Opinion Owner]

@lumos I personally think the only rape cases that should be made punishable by law are violent or deliberate ones, to prevent false accusations and to make the issue of consent MUCH more clear and simple. If a girl says "no", "stop", you keep going, clearly rape. Having sex with someone completely unconcious, clearly rape. Pretty much everyone with a brain understands that, which clearly draws the line between rapists (criminals) and non-rapists (non-criminals). When you start bringing in all these various "aspects of consent", aka grey areas, that's when the whole issue gets complicated and dangerous. The crime of raping should be as easy and simple to confirm and punish as the crime of stealing or murdering.

[jesshkah]

I agree that learning how to protect yourself is just as important, but you can't resolve responsibility towards the perpetrators of the crime. Because then you have people getting off with it being like "oh well I didn't understand what it meant, oh no one taught me that rape was bad, oh I didn't know that this was a crime". Education in both parts is important. I've never said that it isn't anyones responsibility to not protect themselves, but I do believe it's just as important if not moreso, to teach people not to do wrong. Agree with @lumos

[jesshkah]

@mikemx55 your comment about arousal making the brain think differently (is true) but then you went and tried to say that sometimes reasoning can't overcome the pleasure driven actions. That is literally just telling me that you under certain circumstances cannot keep your dick in your pants. If you have a girl in front of you begging you and screaming and crying not to touch her but you can't stop because your "reasoning cannot overcome your desire" then you have a problem. You have literally taken the idea that men think with their penis to a whole new level.

[mikemx55]

"You have literally taken the idea that men think with their penis to a whole new level"

that should be a fact by now... (not all the time of course, that would be ridiculous)

[Botchie]

@lumos Hey, I'm just making sure because you were pretty heavy on the female pronouns and made no mention of the possibility of male victims.

Geez, the internet can be brutal for no apparent reason at times.

[Fearless_banana]

So you took the actual definition of rape culture, disregarded it, and then you made up your own definition of rape culture to say it's prevalent. There is no rape culture in America for there are no social institutions that allow rape or promote it. Rapist are dealt with to the highest extent of the law.

This misconstrued American definition of "Rape culture" has absolutely nothing to do with rape and absolutely everything to do with a third-wave femininst agenda. Wearing skimpy outfits and getting catcalled does not constitute as rape culture. Here we have Amber Rose promoting her slut walk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GsrqLt48og

Women are pushing their promiscuity and sexuality in your face and saying that if you act on your sexuality as a man then you wrong. Why is that women can act upon their sexuality yet men are shamed to do so?

Feminist propaganda like this is absolutely ridiculous..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A

Yes let's wear clothing specifically designed to accentuate a woman's sexuality and walk around bad areas in NYC.

But again.. That's not rape culture

Men don't need to be taught not to rape for there only a very small fraction of men who are rapist, and again they are dealt with to the highest extent of the law. Assuming that all men need to be taught to not rape is actually sexist.

___

Let's talk about the real issue, which is women making false accusations of rape on a frequent occurrence.
www.slate.com/.../...retend_they_never_happen.html

Women are not fragile creatures. and are more than capable of saying no. They are more than capable of taking care of themselves without a victim entitlement.

Women are acting like sluts throwing their sexuality in your face and these same sluts are shutting men down.. demonizing men who act on their sexuality. That's the agenda of this 'rape culture' .. just third wave feminist propaganda. Equality over supremacy and entitlements.

[Fearless_banana]

I actually wanted to add in that regret is not rape. Women have more than enough self control over themselves to not get blackout drunk with a guy they just met. Funny thing is that in a lot of these cases the guy will be just as drunk. Yet she wakes up in the morning say "fuck I regret this".. That's not rape, that's irresponsible behavior.

[Thisperson98]

Banana you really should do a take on abortion.

[jacquesvol]

@Fearless_Banana And there we start again about the false accusation myth. Yes, you'll be able o quote me a few cases where the girl retracted (usually after meeting the rich guys lawyer).
That false accusation myth on the internet is part of the rape culture.

[jesshkah]

I haven't taken the definition and disregarded it, I've highlighted specific examples of what it would be in real relationships. I fail to see how anything I've listed does not fall under the definition that I've explicitly posted.

I also fail to see how you say rapists are dealt with to the highest extent of the law when I've JUST highlighted a case in which a max sentence would have been 14 years, but he got off in 3 months on "good behavior".

The difference in women "acting on their sexuality" is the fact that they are not forcing another party to engage unwillingly in an activity. Rape, if you want to define that as "acting on sexuality" involves a non-consenting party which is where the problem lies.

The real issue is not false accusations. They happen, yes, but not that frequently and even more rarely do men get convicted off false charges.

A 120 pound woman is not "capable of taking care of herself" if a 150 pound man holds her down. An unconscious victim is not capable

[Fearless_banana]

Well my point being is that you are misconstruing the definition to make it fit your narrative. Feminist seem to only use the actual definition of feminism but misconstrue literally everything else. If you play by those rules then the logic is lost.

Rapist are absolutely dealt with. You pulling one anecdotal case proves absolutely nothing. This idea that you can craft a narrative on such a broad topic off the foundation of one case is absolutely absurd. There were an estimate 79,770 rapes reported to law enforcement in 2013.

SOURCE:https://ucr. fbi. gov/crime-in-the-u. s/2013/crime-in-the-u. s.-2013/violent-crime/rape

Are you saying this case of yours overlaps the investigations of 79,770 rape cases?

[Fearless_banana]

"The real issue is not false accusations. They happen, yes, but not that frequently and even more rarely do men get convicted off false charges. “

Now mind you, a lot of these studies are hard to conduct because it’s just a sensitive topic. A lot of these studies are conducted on analytical disparities. Given the abstract of this study, it sounds convincing so let’s give a whirl.

A study conducted in 2004 at Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand conducted a study on this topic that resulted in 41% ("false" claims) and
38% (viewed by police as "possibly true/possibly false”)

www.d.umn.edu/.../Police.pdf

[Fearless_banana]

So given the results of this study, that would actually constitute for 32,706 men falsely accused of rape this country annually. No matter that number the fact that you dismiss this as almost nothing says a lot about your stance. I stand by what I say when this is the real issue. The actual rapist are the ones getting prison sentences.

I thought feminist stood for equality, why do feminist seem not pay any attention to this number and disregard it completley? Feminism is about supremacy and entitlements, not equality. Rape charges are allocated into state jurisdiction. I can factually attest that these rapist are being dealt with.
statelaws.findlaw.com/criminal-laws/rape.html

[Fearless_banana]

Let’s bring up the fact that the American Justice System has been proven to be sexist in favor of women on this topic numerous times.

How about Brian Banks of NFL's Seattle Seahawks.
www.nbclosangeles.com/.../...alcons-218978851.html

What about these?
www.slate.com/.../smeary_lines.html
www.foxnews.com/.../...w-accused-fraud-linked.html
www.nytimes.com/.../08freed.html?_r=4&

I can find plenty more.

[Fearless_banana]

"A 120 pound woman is not "capable of taking care of herself" if a 150 pound man holds her down."

That is nothing more than a victim entitlement. If women are equal to men then why are you conveniently saying you are defenseless to get the upper hand in an argument? If you want to claim to be as equal as a man then you can’t just pick and choose parts of being a man that benefit you.

[Fearless_banana]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uccExOPMrI

This is what I mean when I talk about when people praise women’s sexuality and how quick others are to demonize mens sexuality. Women say that they are 100% equal men when it’s convenient to their narrative. There is obvious dynamic in social roles between male and female.

We are living in a hook up culture.
williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/.../

Do men or women have more access to sex? Obviously women.
elitedaily.com/.../

[Fearless_banana]

As I said, men are being shamed to showcase or act on any of their sexuality whilst women are encouraged to promote it on a systematic level

Let’s take a look at how ridiculous sexual harassment laws have become throughout the years.
www.westchestermagazine.com/.../

... or the ridiculous laws that have been instated.

rapebyfraud.com/.../

[Afrochick]

LMAO THE GIRL PUSHING THE UMBRELLA

[Maik567]

I mean you do realize that the first meme you posted is literally called "scumbag steve" the whole point is that he is a huge scumbag so the whole point of the meme is to say that only a scumbag would think like that.

"Rape culture is when a man expects his wife to have sex with him whenever he wants because they're married, and he's entitled to it regardless of whether or not she wants it."

No, that's just him being a horrible person. Rape culture would be if most men thought like that and I can guarantee you that most men do not think like that.

And anyone who isn't socially retarded will ask a rape victim what she was wearing instead of comforting her.

And if someone is pressuring you for sex, you should instantly leave them. That has nothing to do with "rape culture" that has to do with someone being a selfish asshole.

"Rape culture is when girls in schools are sent home for wearing leggings or shorts/skirts that don't go past their knees because it can be "distracting" for boys."

No, that's just sexist and old fashioned. Has literally nothing to do with rape.

"Rape culture is when society is more focused on teaching women how not to get raped rather than teaching men not to rape."

Do you honestly fucking think that boys aren't taught that rape is bad? Everyone knows rape is bad unless they are mentally ill, even rapists know that rape is bad. Do you really think its as simple as "just teach criminals that the crime they are committing is bad" You are ridiculous.

And considering that men can't be raped is just incredibly sexist, but again only a crazy minority thinks like that so it has nothing to do with our culture.

Honestly I could continue doing this with all of your points, the truth is that you are trying to define sexism or individual douche baggery as "rape culture." In an actual rape culture, rape is not seen as something necessarily bad, (for example "corrective rape" in africa that is supposed to turn gay people straight) That is actual rape culture. We live in a culture where the HUGE majority understand how horrible rape is, so it's completely ridiculous for anyone to even try to call it a rape culture.

[jesshkah]

I do know the meme, but memes are inherently jokes. I've never said that boys are not taught that it's bad though I'm not sure about you, but that's never been an explicit topic in any class I've taken. I've also never assumed men cannot be raped, I've made a specific point saying that it's WRONG to assume men cannot be raped.

I'm not comparing our culture to any other's. Just because it is worse elsewhere does not make it non-existent in a different country.

[Maik567]

Yes and making fun of bad things is apparently rape culture? And have you seen people taught not to murder in any class? Or that they shouldn't steal? Saying that "just teach men not to rape" is equally patronizing and discriminatory as saying "just teach muslims to not be terrorists" or "just teach black people not to steal" Men know not to rape, do you honestly fucking think that a rapist doesn't realize that what he's doing is wrong? And in which class have you been taught to not get raped? Cause I'm calling bullshit on that one.

"Just because it is worse elsewhere does not make it non-existent in a different country."

You are right, rape isn't non-existent in America, but you are talking about rape culture. Rape is definitely an issue in America but you can't call America a rape culture when most people understand that rape is wrong and that its horrible. Rape culture is where rape is a part of society, and America isn't that.

[ObscuredBeyond]

There is a difference between rape and regret. Real rape culture is this:

- A man who is on a football team, is a dream ace performer for the school, whose dad is rich, gets only six months of probation for tying up a woman behind a dumpster and raping her - including with a rusty steel rod. The judge fears the man will be "severely impacted" if sent to 20 years in prison like anyone else. The father calls it "just 20 minutes of action." Nobody is tossing father and son into a volcano. Nobody is taking a power drill to their left eyes, chopping off their right hands, slicing off their genitals, then lighting them on fire. Nope. Just six months of probation. As for the victim? The judge couldn't give less of a rat's ass how she went to the hospital and could be disfigured for life.

Rape culture is if a girl assaults another girl and breaks her nose in school simply for refusing to accept a sexual advance, then the victim of assault gets suspended for "homophobia" for simply not being interested, but the assailant is coddled by the school. (This already happened!)

Rape culture is if you say you are a Muslim, you have carte blanche to terrorize your neighbors and even rape their puppies. And if one of those afflicted dares so much as sneeze on Facebook about how they're scared, the SWAT team arrives to arrest - or assassinate - the complainer! That's Merckel's Germany. That's Sweden.

Rape culture is that Somali pirates can cut to the front of the immigration line in Minnesota, and kidnap blonde 7-year-olds to their hearts' content. And if you point out that proven pirates shouldn't even be in line at all, Obama goes after *you* for being "a racist." (But *somehow*, there is nothing racist at all about him banning Syrian Christians from the immigration line, nor about him sending South Korean business geniuses to the back of the line!)

Rape culture is India. Say yes, you're a slut and they stone you. Say no, they rape you and your family burns you alive as though it were your fault. Because India thumbed its nose long ago at Deuteronomy 22:26.

As for the other scumbags: Women should avoid excessively revealing clothes and learn how to have fun without getting drunk. And get a conceal carry permit. Poof! 90% of the gutterslime is gone!

[jacquesvol]

@ObscuredBeyond, tell me those hings don't happen in the good old USA, please!

[jesshkah]

Thank you for your comment! I agree that all of these are a part of the culture too, I was focused more on the less tangible parts of it that affect the mentality and approach that many people have towards relationships and what could be constituted as rape. Of course, reactions by society after the fact are just as much a part of the culture as well.

[TesticleMonster]

Alright a few things.
A.) There is no rape culture.
B.) all the things women quote that supposedly guys say as their excuse for believing there IS a rape culture, are bullshit and no guy in the history of guys has actually said that.
C.) the closest thing that exists to a rape culture, exists on the site modelmayhem, and it exists purely in a state of denial. you see, rape is actually a huge problem with that site, there have been several lawsuits against it and more than one of the models i've shot with has been groped or touched inappropriately. and its not that these kind of people aren't condemned like they are in the real world, its that the very stereotypes that exist to condemn them allow them to flourish. there is a epithet called "GWC" or "guy with camera" that basically exists to shame a guy who's just trying to get his rocks off with a camera. which is why porn exists and there's nothing wrong with it if you do that in your own time and both parties agree to that type of relationship. but the whole slur itself is used almost exclusively by the catty moderators who are the EXACT culprits of the behavior they're describing, its just that all the wrong people are in charge, and they can brig you in an instant if you argue with them so they're allowed to roam and grope freely without consequence as long as they're tight with a moderator. and the models are guilty of this pretentious little clique just as much as the men, because of course they are. thats what allows this to happen. not glorification or the inability to shun people but the lengths to which they go to exploit the words that are meant to shun for their own selfish ends.
D.) this also means any woman who has ever called a guy a creep because she felt uncomfortable, called a guy a perv for expressing his sexuality in any way, said people were "raping her" with their eyes or their words or that various things that aren't rape equate to rape. it also means you criticizing dress codes with the word, or your ex boyfriends for not wanting to deal with your fragile psyche, or people who just want to hook up. THEY are not rape culture. you are. every time someone does that, it robs the meaning from those words so that when they're actually used correctly, either no one can distinguish the difference or they just don't give a shit because you've cried wolf so many times. this is why the absolute #1 most important thing to stop real rape, is to stop false accusations of rape.

[TesticleMonster]

So E.) YOU, NOW, and other women like you need to stop devaluing the process for rape by using it as a scapegoat to solve every grievance you have in your life. come to the bargaining table, negotiate with them, or stop throwing temper tantrums and calling people rapists every time you don't get your way. no one will ever want to be in a relationship with you if you call them a rapist or accuse them of supporting rapists every time they have a problem with your behavior or expect you to adhere to a moral standard. And no one will save you when you're getting your clothes torn off in an alley because they don't owe you anything and you've never been respectful to them. And if you seriously want to breed a culture where you can protect against rape, you need to encourage your fellow woman to take self defense classes. Be competent in the face of danger.

[TesticleMonster]

and finally
F.) i was meeting with a woman at a non profit organization i'm currently working with that tries to prevent human rights abuses, and specifically covers the problem of sex trafficking in Las Vegas. they're making another documentary, conversation got to the point where we started discussing whether it was a lack of awareness that was really the problem, or a lack of an effective strategy, i mentioned komen for the cure raking in about a billion dollars despite never donating a cent to the guy who actually found the cure. And we started talking about feminists hijacking this issue and how they're a real problem not just because they dilute the effort to solve these issues but because they create the demand that even makes a market for sex trafficking. When they treat men terribly, those men turn to other alternatives for satisfaction and rather than rape, they turn to prostitution, how are they supposed to know if she's 18, or consenting? they're already ashamed as it is.

[jesshkah]

Rape culture is something that exists within SOCIETY. I as an individual cannot "be rape culture". I agree that false accusations are just as bad and should be justly punished as well.

I have never called anyone a rapist just because I haven't gotten my way. Wherever you seemed to have gotten that idea is absolutely not something that has come from my Take. I am in a long term, healthy relationship, and also personally kickbox, practice MMA and lift. I am "competent" in the face of danger, but there are certain situations that are completely out of my control.

[hellionthesagereborn]

First, he didn't commit rape, he was also heavily intoxicated and the girl was going with him to have sex before she passed out. Does that make what he did acceptable? No, but if your ignoring all of that, your not being just. Yes he should be punished, no it shouldn't be for over a decade of his life. Now we can argue at how long that time should have been, but the fact is it is an over reach to destroy his life for one screw up that was a combination of his drunken idiocy and quite frankly her drunken idiocy. Again, not acceptable, but he does not deserve to have his entire existence defined by one mistake no more then any other human being should.

That stated, what your describing doesn't exist in the US. You have one case and one case alone. Meanwhile in the united states women rape men at comparable rates yet NO ONE says anything about it. You want to know what rape culture is? Its the culture that created the court ruling hermsman vs seyer where a 12 year old boy was told by the court that he had to pay child support to his rapist, his babysitter, for the next 18 years of his life. Rape culture is when we ignore the fact that men are raped at the same rates as women and disregard their well being in such cases. Its the culture where when a man gets raped he is accused of wanting it, is told he should be happy that he got it and that he was "gay" for not wanting it. Rape culture is Amy Schumer going on stage at a feminist dinner event and laughing at the man she raped because he was so blacked out drunk had not consented and didn't even know what was going on and she raped him then talked about how pathetic in bed he was to the laughter and applause of all the women present. Rape culture is women actively fighting gender neutral rape laws.

How accepted and "funny" is it in our society for women to be raped? Well lets see. . . "believe all women". Kavanuagh was falsely accused of rape and had is life ripped apart because of it, we where told that he had to be a rapist even though all evidence showed she was lying and that of both parties only he had evidence to prove his side of the story, never the less he was and still is slandered as being a rapist. In fact we have seen this happen more then once, many men have gone to prison due to false accusations, having their lives destroyed FOREVER because we ALWAYS take it so seriously that we simply presume she could never be lying about it. Rapist get killed in prison so our most degenerate members of our society see it as taboo. Also according to data rape, if we presume all age groups are equally likely (they are not) all regions of the country (they are not) and all behaviors are equally probable (they are not) to result in rape a woman has the life time chance of 3% of getting raped I. e. not a "culture", not a "epidemic" not a "high occurrence" in fact its incredibly rare (and considering this is the life time chance of a man being raped by a woman which we also ignore we can state that the claims made by you are false. Stop with the ancedotes, stop with the sexism. Your not a victim, your the least victimized group in the WORLD. Their is no class more protected, more privileged then women and that is a statistical fact.

[Blobb]

"Rape culture is when a man expects his wife to have sex with him whenever he wants because they're married, and he's entitled to it regardless of whether or not she wants it." -> Agreed. That's not ok, people are individuals and free to do as they wish with their lives and bodies.

"Rape culture is when a victim is asked whether or not he or she wore anything or said anything that could have been construed as an invitation rather than understanding that they had explicitly said no, or never actually agreed in any way or form to sexual activities." -> You do realise rape is a very serious allegation, and if you make that allegation you're sending someone to jail for a very long time. You're ending their life. I'm happy we live in a culture where there needs to be an investigation before sentencing a criminal based on someone's accusation...

"Rape culture is when a partner in a relationship is coerced into losing their virginity early or having sex with their partner unwillingly because that's how "relationships should be" and are pressured into sex in order to "save their relationship"." -> Coercion and stating unhappiness are two very different things. If you love someone and they're never intimate with you it can actually hurt a lot and make you feel unwanted, and unhappy. A guy has a right to voice his unhappiness in a relationship, just like a girl does. And each one has the right to leave if they so choose. You can't force a guy to stay with a girl in a relationship that makes him unhappy. The girl has the choice to try and make him happy sexually or to move on to a relationship better suited to her...

"Rape culture is when girls in schools are sent home for wearing leggings or shorts/skirts that don't go past their knees because it can be "distracting" for boys." -> Rape culture is when I can't show up to a funeral in my shorts and wife beater because it's not "appropriate"... Yeah, I think you get it. Some places require some decorum...

"Rape culture is when society is more focused on teaching women how not to get raped rather than teaching men not to rape." -> Terrorism culture is when society is more focused on teaching people basic safety measures in high risk areas than teaching people not to blow themselves up in crowds. You live in a terrorism culture!

[Blobb]

"Rape culture is assuming that men cannot get raped. For me, any unwanted and forced sexual acts are considered rape. Whether a man or a woman commits it, is completely irrelevant. " -> For you and for everyone, that's the definition of rape.

"Rape culture is when more than half of real rape cases are not reported because of fear of the process the victim will be put through, the interrogation, the ridicule, the distrust of the system." -> Yes, that is a feature of rape cultures. Acceptance because "nothing is gonna be done about it" or worse they'll get ridiculed or raped again at the police station (maybe not in the US though).

"Rape culture is when people use "raped" as a term of achieving significant victory in video games or sports." -> This refers to guys more than girls. Predominantly video gamers are male, so when you say "team B got raped", it's "these guys got raped" which is seen as a joke in our societies because they're guys and that's somehow ridiculous... Agreed.

[Blobb]

"Rape culture is when people refuse to date victims and see them as "broken goods", perpetuating the idea that there is something inherently wrong with them. Victims did not chose to be victims." -> You can't blame someone for refusing to date another person with serious emotional issues. It's quite a burden to take on. A lot of girls won't take guys with serious issues either. Don't think this belongs in the "rape culture" dialog.

"Rape culture is defining “manliness” as dominant and sexually aggressive and “womanliness” as submissive and sexually passive." -> Well it's factually mostly like that, and that's whats attractive to a majotiry of people. I don't see how this makes it a rape culture. Everyone is into different things, I really don't see this one...

"Rape culture is turning a blind eye and conditioning ourselves to acceptance because in other cultures "it's normal"." -> Really? You hear a lot of people saying there's tons of rape in India so it's ok here?

[Blobb]

"Rape culture is assuming when you go out that every nicely dressed guy or girl is looking for a hookup or someone to go home with at the end of the night. Rape culture is what I've personally seen going out in New York, at the end of the night, at 3am, when all the guys who didn't get a girl in the club mill around outside and chat up every single girl that walks out trying to take them home." -> Chatting up, talking is a far cry from rape. Even grabbing your arm is still a long way away from rape. A lot of people going to clubs are looking to hook up, I don't think you'll find the same happening outside of your local starbucks at midday.

[Blobb]

"Rape culture was when I was called a bitch for turning down a man's sexual advances after I had said NICELY that I was not interested and I had a boyfriend and I was out only to celebrate a friend's birthday, and also having him tell me that I've probably never been fucked right but he could show me what it'd be like. " -> For it to be "rape culture" this has to be a widespread phenomenon and accepted. I don't think most people would think that's normal or ok behaviour. So I don't think it's so much rape culture as creepy retardation.

"Rape culture is when I'm dancing with a guy and on multiple occasions and with multiple people, they've tried to finger me under my dress and pull me back when I walked away. " -> Depends on the context, if you're leaving without saying anything they grab you to know what's up. If you're like fuck no. Then that's harassment. And if that's considered ok. I'd agree it points towards an element of a rape culture.

[Blobb]

See all in all I don't think you can say you live in a rape culture. I think there's a lot of things that could change for the better. But overall, if you say you've been raped you're going to get a reaction. There will be an investigation.

You know what a rape culture is to me?
->No matter your age, no matter how covered you are you get catcalled on the streets, everywhere and constantly, cars slowing down
-> You get approached in intimidating ways by guys, sometimes surrounded and fear for your life and safety
-> You know people in your immediate circle who've been raped, and raped and murdered and it just is what it is
-> You know if you get raped you probably won't make it out alive
-> Kidnapping, rape and murder and all together are a common occurrence and you literally risk your life walking in the streets
-> If you complain to the police you'll get laughed at, ignored and very probably gang raped by officers

There are places like that

[Blobb]

Places where you're risking rape every day, where it's not safe anywhere no matter the time of the day. Where if you wear even a bit of revealing clothing you'll get called a slut, possibly chased and risk rape even more.

Places where rape is so commonplace nobody goes to the police, and it just is. Places where rape and murder is so accepted that nothing will ever be done about it, and you risk your life by complaining. Places where if you admit to rape, your family could kill you to save their honor. Places where if you get raped and survive, you'll be ostracised and thrown to the street because you're a slut. Places where you'd risk your life or more rape by admitting you've been raped.

That's rape culture. Those places exist. There are many things we can do to make our society better and deal with rape better because it still is a problem, a real one. But you can't claim we live in a culture that accepts and promotes rape, because we don't.

[Blobb]

Saying we do, discredits you and your message. And the thing is, the message is good. Rape is a very very serious issue. So don't make it something it's not and people will take it seriously. Rape is a terrible ordeal and nobody deserves to have their suffering discredited by ignorant statements to "support" them, because it's harming more than it is doing good.

It's polarising, and polarising people is great if your arguments are truly solid as it brings awareness and can change perspectives, but polarising without a solid argument just discredits you, brings everyone against you and what you stand for. And half of your statements are ridiculous, no offense. So I disagree with your mytake in its content, its message and the fact that it exists...

[Anonymous]

HI. I'm a rape and stalking victim. This MyTake is absolute garbage.

Rape is NEVER about sex, It's about control. Men and women who rape aren't horny. Their delusional. They get off on the power-trip of taking power from someone else. They use fear, pain, and psychological warfare to tear down their victims. What better way to make someone feel completely and utterly vulnerable, powerless, and defenseless, than to get indie of them, literally.

What you have written here is not at all about potential rapists. It's about men who are bitter about not getting laid. Horny men who want sex, and resort to petty name-calling and shaming methods to coerce you into giving them what they want.

COERCE, not FORCE. This means that you would have to CHOOSE to give in and give them what they want. The only "crime" being committed by these drunken club crawlers after hours is sexual HARASSMENT, not ASSAULT.

Ideals like the one you've described here do nothing but paint men, all men in a pathetic and desperate light, making them all out to be sex crazed animals, deaf dumb and blind in their pursuit of "The Score".

I'm a "fat chick", over 200 lbs. I NEVER wear revealing clothing, not because I am ashamed of my body, but because no one wants to see it. I was much bigger than I am now when I was raped. 9 years ago I was raped by my boyfriend whom I'd been having consensual sex with regularly. He tied me down and had his fun then left me that way all night. The next morning when I was in a state of sleep paralysis, he broke my jaw.

Then he stalked me for 8 months. 7 years later he tried again, but this time I had enough friends around, male friends, to keep me safe.

5 years ago I was sexually assaulted while I was sleeping, by my own husband. It had been going for months and I was completely unaware until a male roommate passing by our wide open bedroom door caught my ex husband at it. I was in full nude for all to see, and yet again over 200 lbs. I'd gone to bed in sweat pants and a t-shirt.

3 years ago while living with a couple who swings, a male roommate tried to assault me while his wife was at work, because I told him that she has said I wasn't allowed to sleep with him, as I was a roommate. I wasn't interested in him that way.

(TBC...)

[Opinion Owner]

Last year, I ended up falling victim to an actual clinical psychopath. He got me extremely drunk one night, then took me back to the bedroom. I was consenting at first. But over an hour later when I was in intense pain because of chaffing and cramping and his rough handling, he didn't care, he didn't stop, and it "wasn't his problem" when the condom ripped after 2 hours.

It's shit like what you have posted in this take that serves to normalize such behavior, making it near impossible for girls like me to recognize warning signs that are :"normalized" when men truly are dangerous sexual predators. Thankfully, pain is a great teacher.

[jesshkah]

Hi, I apologize if this Take came off the wrong way for you, in no way was it meant to belittle you or your experiences. I'm sorry for what happened to you, and I can say from first hand experience that I also do understand this pain. The Take is more about rape "culture" which is what normalizes and DOES belittle the concept in society. The Take was not so much a description of what actually goes through a rapists mind and what drives them to do the things they do. My Take is not what normalizes this behavior, as there sometimes are no signs AT ALL as you've seen from your own experiences.

[gobsmacked3]

I am old :( meaning I have a differing definition of 'rape culture'

It has always been a term of great shame but it has evolved.

Growing up, the shame used to revolve around the male made out to be the victim due to the male dominance in society. The woman always 'wanting it' or 'she deserved it', or 'it was her duty' etc etc etc

That has gladly now been for the most been put in the past with the Woman getting greater protection and rights. As well as Society treating it with the respect this terrible crime demands.

Sadly, it has gone full circle to now when it is thrown around flippantly for everything and anything which takes away from the gravity of the crime. You have the term 'Rape' used openly in language relating to sporting contests, games, debates etc etc etc which is perverse. It has created a culture where people attach it for anything and everything sexual taking away from its gravity b/c they can't understand it fully. As well as making it so very hard for real victims to attain justice

it is a Global shame all of our own making :(

[jesshkah]

Thank you for sharing your perspective, it is interesting to know the difference has towards different generations. I agree that it is to be lamented, the state of affairs now, hopefully there will be change again soon, for the better.

[Brokenheartedx]

Men get raped too... rape isn't about sex it's about power and to control the victim

Most rapes are done by people the victim knows

Rape can happen to anyone whether it's a young girl/boy or old lady/man.. even transsexuals aren't immune to being raped

It's not what someone wears that the rapist chooses to assault..

But know what they all have in common? They have the right to live without unwanted sexual attention..

Do I think it's a culture? No but it will steadily get that way as long as rapists get away with it... and many don't even get reported in fear they aren't believed

But out of all that know what Sickens me the most women who pretend to be raped to destroy a persons life.. it's happened many times and it mocks real victims and what they've been through.. and the false allegations these women are never brought to justice... and it's mostly women who do that.. few instances a woman puts an ad up for rough sex.. they have rough sex but to explain the bruises she claimed she was raped so her boyfriend didn't find out she was cheating..

[FatherJack]

Well said !! Malicious false accusers should be imprisoned for a similar term to a convicted rapist , as she intended to destroy the accused man's life. Even if cleared , a man is always assumed to be guilty & is at risk of serious violence.

[Brokenheartedx]

@FatherJack You follow this case
www.thesun.co.uk/.../

To me a false accuser is the rapist- though pyschological as she has the power to ruin a mans life through lies... hats the difference between pyhiscal and mental rape? on my opinion none both are damaging

[FatherJack]

@Brokenheartedx Yes agreed , both physical & mental violations should be severely punished , there is great overlap between both. Many men are coming to the conclusion that even LOOKING at a woman is considered offensive & even that is a risk for a man , you may find this blog post interesting , some bitter comments though !!

edumckaytion.com/blog/men-notice-women-anymore/

[Brokenheartedx]

@FatherJack I've not read it but I figure it's going to annoy me... I'm one for justice being served.. I'll take a read of your link later n give my opinion

[jesshkah]

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I agree with all that you've said though for me I think the definition of rape culture isn't so confined to whether or not or how frequent it actually happens. Also totally agree with you, false accusations are totally fucked up and deserve a level of punishment as well.

[HorrorFan]

Brock Turner barely serving jail time for rape isn't rape culture. It's people deemed 'important' getting preferential treatment, which is it's own, but still separate bullshit problem. This and similar stories like it are about money and influence. Not rape tolerance. Seriously, find people that are actually okay with his tiny jail sentence.

There is no rape culture.

I'm going to pick one snippit of your argument that annoys me to no end.

"Rape culture is when society is more focused on teaching women how not to get raped rather than teaching men not to rape."

This is you taking a giant, steaming turd on reality.

This is the equivalent of saying that instead of locking our doors at night, we should just teach men not to steal.

NOWHERE IN WESTERN SOCIETY IS RAPE TOLERATED. Rape is a crime. Rape is not tolerated AT ALL.

Human beings are directly and indirectly told and taught not to do deplorable things. They will still do it anyways. Murder is objectively worse than rape and yet it still happens all the time. We have no direct control over it. Bad people that don't care about rules exist.

Which is exactly why it makes way more sense to focus on what you DO have control over to some extent. Which is being more cautious with where you go, whether or not you are alone, being around drugs/alcohol, whether or not you can potentially defend yourself, etc.

[jesshkah]

Brock Turner's situation is a part of the rape culture I'm trying to define. The whole partying, entitlement, no consent, treatment of the victim, etc. parts of the situation that lead to it actually happening is what the "culture" is.

I have not absolved women of the responsibility of learning preventative measures from that statement. I'm remarking on the fact that society has taken a more reactive measure towards this. Instead of trying to make sure things happen less, it's more focused on teaching people how to react after it has happened.

[HorrorFan]

Trying to lump it into 'rape culture' just feeds into the feminist agenda, whereas properly identifying such things more about entitlement of the rich/famous/powerful/'deemed important' keeps it gender neutral and actually shines a spotlight on the real issue. This goes beyond rape. This extends to things like getting people off on murder/manslaughter charges, etc.

I mean hell, this doesn't even shine a spotlight on all the studies that have shown that women are sentenced to shorter prison terms than men when committing the same crimes. There is a blatant societal bias at work to keep women out of jail as much as possible.

You can't 'make sure things happen less', though. Human beings have free will and extreme anger or mental illness can manifest seemingly out of nowhere. People get emotional and make massive, life changing mistakes. Bad people exist and rape and murder is going to happen. People need to learn to avoid potentially bad situations as much as they can.

[PT1911]

Unlike a lot of people, I'm going to give you a level headed, calm response, and that trigger warning be damned, seriously, people need to learn how to deal with controversial topics and keep their feelings in check.

The fact of the matter is, rape is a crime here. And a crime in the west in general. In other parts of the world, it is not-(more on that later).

Here in the west, bad people will always do bad things. Brock turner's dad was a bad guy (a la 20 minutes of action). Mr. Turner is supposed to be the role model to his son on how a man is supposed to act, how he is supposed to treat women etc. With phrasing like "20 min of action" does it really surprise you why brock did what he did? If I did what Brock did, my father would have said "double the usual sentence" The main point is, brock was tried, and convicted. Yes the punishment in no way matched the crime, in fact the punishment was a joke, but in western culture, rape is a crime. End of story

In other parts of the world... its acceptable, evening actually being a part of the culture.
www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...-children-homeland.html

A buddy of mine who is about to get deployed to Afghanistan told me how his boss who went before him witnessed afghani officers raping little kids, and was told not to intervene because its the "cultural norm".

So while rape is indeed a problem in the west (shitty people being shitty people) its is ultimately a social stigma, it is a crime.

Now of course i could delve deeper into why it appears there is a rape culture (hollywood-sex scenes everywhere, porn industry) etc, but i really don't want to open that can of worms.

[jesshkah]

Thank you, I do appreciate the way you've approached your response. However, I don't believe that just because it is recognized as a crime by the government means that it is not a "culture" in the way that society views it. I understand your point though, thank you for sharing.

[PT1911]

And that's where I believe we open up the can of worms regarding hollywood, media, music, even video games etc.

[markscott]

I'm a manager in a place where there are lots of professional female employees, so over time, I have gotten to know many of them fairly well. I have also hired many women. One of the things about working with women, that really surprised me, was how many of them have been raped. Of course, I don't know how many of the women I worked with were actually raped, I only know of those who trusted me enough to say something to me. It was shocking to me to find that so many of my female friends were raped, or almost raped. And of course, there were the patients who had been raped, or had histories of being raped. It was nothing unusual to find a female patient who had been raped multiple times. I did run across the occasional situation where a woman claimed she had been sexually assaulted, and even named the person who supposedly assaulted her, but he had not done so. So we must always be careful, as not everyone accused of rape has actually raped someone. However, again, the main theme I saw, was the surprising number of women who had been raped.

[Mixedd-Statuss]

In class today we discussed the most recent rape story on the swimmer from Harvard or whatever and of course the word combo "rape culture" came up. Personally the first thing that came to my mind was "Who the hell made that up?" Let me say y. Senior year in high school we had to do a big research project in one of my English classes based on gender stereotypes. I wanted to do something diff from everyone so I did "Women as the victim". through ALL of my research, and there was plenty of shit to shuffle through, and obviously rape and sexual assualt/harassment came up. NEVER EVER did "rape culture" come up. This person named Heise (I forgot wether it was a chick or a guy) developed this ecological framework on y there's violence against women, it consists of: indiviual (as the root, involving race, gender, wistnessing abuse, being abused), then relationships (thats obvious), then community (who u grew up with, church, living in poverty), lastly of course society. All of that stuff makes sense too me, during my research men being raped came up too. I think it's fucked up when it's laughed at about a guy being raped. "Rape culture" isn't a thing, rape happening in different cultures is. People thinking rape is normal because it happens in their culture is a thing. I've been "cat called" and followed somewhere out in public, for me I Don't think about it and I don't go around sitting "he sexually harassed/assaulted me!" It could've been worse honestly, u can't hide from that shit forever, u build thick enough skin to deal with it and move on. There shouldn't be double standards, violence shouldn't be promoted, but who can hide from all these negative influences without moving to an island without internet. And I'm bothered by this whole pointing the finger at guys. Some people just grow up screwed up in the head and/or aren't properly taught morals. I'm not gonna say this shit bores me because it doesn't, it's important, but this shit is irritating. #sorrynotsorry

[jesshkah]

Rape happening isn't the definition of "rape culture".

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Your take was like a piss. Starts off strong, but faded towards he end. I agree with the rape problem thing. Part of what turned me off (poor choice of words?) is the lack of disconnect between actual rape and jokes or statements that aren't emphatically talking about rape and supporting or condoning it. Yes, rape is bad, but you bring up the videogame... Most people can discern the difference. That's not rape culture. It's just a joke. I don't think most people, because they say it, will get the impression they can actually go out and rape people... Hopefully. Some will, obviously, but you get the drift

And a lot of what you said is rape, however, but doesn't speak to anything. We, and most people know it's rape. We know it's not ok to coercing your partner to partake in sex. But acknowledging what is rape doesn't say there is rape culture. I hate to use this, but it's like saying gun culture is mass murdering people. Yes, it's gun culture, but doesn't speak to the prevalence of mass shootings

Moreover, I think if you wanted to take it further, you could've spoken about corruption in the court system, like how the judge went to Stanford as well and, I think, knew the father

[jesshkah]

Lol can't say I appreciate the analogy though the rest of the comments I do. I see what you're saying, I knew the video game comment would get some flack. I think for me I meant it more because I felt like using the term to signify dominance and winning and taking something over kinda takes away from the real experiences victims have who have actually been raped. Rape culture isn't so much about the prevalence of it actually happen, it's about the mindset of society towards it. The bottom part of listing things out was meant to show how so many things in life are a part of that, but sometimes if you don't call it out it's not recognized as such. Sure it's "bad" but it's not usually thought of as a part of something bigger than its individual relationship and instances.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

I mean if you put the video game thing that way, that only helps my point... In fact, it's something you agree with as rape is essentially domination of another person, physically, emotionally and mentally. So if you use it in that context, it makes sense... Also being pretty funny as long as you don't actually think about it. Kinda like calling someone an asshole without having the visual image of a giant asshole walking around... Unless you're into that sort of thing 😂. Most people can and do make the distinction, hence the dissacociation and more candid nature of the word. I think you need to give people credit (I know that's hard) for knowing when it's appropriate and inappropriate to make a rape joke. Someone said something about grammar nazis

to be continued

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

As for the part where you said rape culture isn't so much about the prevalence so much about the mindset, those are kind of intertwined. You used the case of that Standord kid as an example of pure corruption and disregard for rape... That is what I see rape culture as and not just a mindset, cause most people know that was fucked up (minus him, the dad and judge). So it's kinda sending mixed messages in a way in that case. To me, it's definitely a problem. Maybe a bit overblown and very gray in a lot of instances, but acknowledging and knowing what constitutes as rape is 1/4 of the battle. Understanding what is and isn't appropriate in certain circumstances and common fucking sense are the other and not victim shaming is the other 75%

[jesshkah]

Agreed that the two are intertwined, but there are some people here saying that rape culture is not a thing because it doesn't happen as much as it does in other countries which is why I think the distinction is important. Also thank you for having a level headed discussion with me rather than insulting me personally first.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Rape culture isn't a problem in that many people get raped. Rape culture is a problem that there is no way in which it's articulated to clarify what is rape and what isn't. Rape is rape, but personal responsibility needs to come into play. Understanding thedifference between someone raping and some hoe trying to extort money. Knowing a guy can be raped... Very rarely since most dudes wouldn't be opposed to forced sex with a woman, but hey 😑. Whether it's an epidemic or not is irrelevant in my opinion. The mere fact that it happens should be enough for it to be addressed... Like I can't get people stupid enough to actually that because it's not an epidemic means that it shouldn't be baddressed... Literally the dumbest shit I've heard. Just because I have a benign tumor and not a malignant tumor in my brain means I don't need to get rid of it at the moment... That makes fucking sense 👌

[Anonymous]

When I was learning to drive my I was at aroundabout and a car who didn't have right of way pulled out in front of me. I had to slam on the breaks and It was almost a collision. My first reaction was to say to my dad, who was next to me, that it wasn't my fault. He said , "Yeah its not your fault, but do you want to get injured in a crash? Do you want to go to the hassle of talking to the police, insurance, car garage? Do you want the knock to your confidence? Do you want to lose your car for a week while its repaired?" I said no to which he replied; "Well avoid crashing, no matter who's fault it would be."

I try and extend this advice to other things in my life. As I started going out drinking later on in life I took precautions to ensure I had a good, safe night out. I know that there are some absolute bastards out there and that if I passed out drunk on the streets I would get robbed and abused. The same applies for house parties. I do understand for women that their drinks could get spiked.

I dont understand the term rape culture. There is a lot of violence in western media but you wouldn't describe it as murder culture. We do have a large amount of drinking in our culture.

[mikemx55]

OMFG !!! MY dad says exactly the same very thing every time we see someone doing something wrong! (seriously, the exact same keywords)
#coincidence

[jesshkah]

I understand what you're trying to say. In no way to I believe that women should solely rely on things "not happening to them" and should 100% take the necessary preventative or protective measures to lower the chance of things happening to them. But that does not absolve the responsibility from the other party either.

[Opinion Owner]

Im not absolving anyone of responsibility. The men who commit these acts should absolutely be punished accordingly by the law. And obviously a woman cannot take precautions that would prevent the chance of being raped entirely. But people should know their limits and not drink too much alcohol in an unfamiliar environment. It is irresponsible to put yourself in such a vulnerable position like that and this applies to both men and women.

[JRICHARDS1996]

Rape culture is the result of rampant promiscuity and irresponsibility. You cannot promote an anything-goes culture and then expect certain things not to go. If the entire feminist platform is built upon crossing lines in the sand, what makes them think that people are not just going to cross their line in the sand? Namely, "consent."

[Gommers]

Shhh. Didn't you know, women can't ever be at fault. Parading around in clothes that are specifically designed to spark the interest of men they have interest in should never attract the interest of men they aren't. Making themselves sexually easy shouldn't be seen as her fault either. It's not her fault for having sex with so many men that she's no able to have sex without any emotional connection. It's only more than sex if she doesn't want it.

Don't worry dude, women will eventually get as much power as they want, end up fucking up in a really major way, and the men will be back in power. There's a reason that female led civilizations crumble in near instant times in relation to the rest of human life. I mean look at the female led countries right now, all struggling to stay afloat because they built their raft out of concrete because male engineers said it couldn't be done.

[Djaaaaaay]

@Gommers Very true , I'm impressed that someone else knows this too. Every civilization has done this since the dawn of mankind , and revolves just like that primarily

[lumos]

So you're justifying rape because... feminism?

[Brokenheartedx]

To the guy who said because of what women wear... Then what about a little girl in a normal dress for kids with her hair in bows... is it because what she was wearing she got raped? ur argument is ridiculous people should wear what they want without ever being touched

[JRICHARDS1996]

@lumos Nobody ever justified rape. Wrong is wrong no matter what. You are guilty of the straw man fallacy. I only noted that feminism is ironically responsible for it in the same way that not locking your doors is responsible for robberies. I repeat, you cannot promote an anything-goes culture and then expect certain things not to go. You cannot base your platform on crossing lines in the sand only to draw your own.

[jacquesvol]

Rape culture is a byproduct of patriarchy

[jacquesvol]

@Gommers even boats have been build using concrete

[jacquesvol]

@Gommers and ONLY rapists and those who excuse rape are at fault

[jacquesvol]

www.google.be/search

[Djaaaaaay]

@jacquesvol So true... Fucking scum worthy of death , both of them

[jacquesvol]

@Djaaaaaay I'm against death penalty

[Djaaaaaay]

@jacquesvol You and me both , but not the ones involved , or the false accusers too

[goaded]

Nobody is promoting an anything-goes culture, they are promoting anything-that-doesn't-hurt-others-goes culture.
Don't you think the world would be a better place if people treated everyone else with respect?

[Gommers]

@Djaaaaaay BRB going to suicide for your happiness. U must be so much more important than me.

[goaded]

Also, are you saying there wasn't any rape going on for thousands of years before the feminist movement appeared?

[Gommers]

@goaded no, but it had clearly impacted your ability to read and read for comprehension. But anyway, still suiciding, BRB soon.

[goaded]

@Gommers If your reading comprehension was better, you might have realised I was replying to JRICHARDS1996's original comment.

[Gommers]

@goaded not when it was addressed to me

[Gommers]

@goaded well shit, I was wrong

[goaded]

@Gommers 'K :)

[JRICHARDS1996]

@jacquesvol The patriarchy is a product of nature and evolution, something that no amount of nurture will ever change. Nature will always reign supreme.

[JRICHARDS1996]

@goaded I repeat, building their entire platform off of crossing lines in the sand only to suddenly draw their own arbitrary line and then expect for nobody to cross it as well. You cannot tell everyone that morality is arbitrary, feelings are the only standard of good, and that everything is permissible and then expect for them to value silly liberal ideals like "consent" and "tolerance."

[jacquesvol]

@JRICHARDS1996 So many unacceptable behavior is a product of nature and evolution. E. g. nearly all crimes in our penal law books.

[Gommers]

@jacquesvol his point is that as men became more civilized so did society and the perception of what is acceptable and what is not. Civilized men do not rape, it's not a patriarchal issue it's an issue with those who decide to live outside the bounds of civilized society.

Do not blame a group as a whole for the problems of and caused by a group that appears vaguely familiar.

[goaded]

@jrichards1996
What lines in the sand were they? Being not some man's property from birth (the father) to marriage (the husband), to death?
Being able to vote?
To be priests?
To love who you want?
To wear a funny hat?

Do any of those do anything to hurt anyone, who doesn't want to see women as slaves? All people deserve the freedom to make their own choices.

Of course you can tell everyone that morality is arbitrary, feelings are the only standard of good, and that everything is permissible and then expect for them to value silly liberal ideals like "consent" and "tolerance", because not valuing consent and tolerance is obviously hurting other human beings! It is really simple, if you can be bothered to think about it for a minute.

[YourName123]

@Gommers BRAVO!

[jacquesvol]

@YourName123 @Gommers Bravo for your confession.

[YourName123]

@jacquesvol based one the progressive definition of rape, most of my HS class, male and many females should be doing life in prison. there you have my confession too. Better build more jails

[jacquesvol]

@YourName123 I'll remember your confession. :-|

[Josht13]

A cherrypicked case is hardly good proof for rape culture nice that you focused on the women's side as well if we want to go down that road I'd be interested how often a woman who sexually assaulted a guy is even sentenced to jail. Maybe you could say there's a rape culture if the vast majority of society was like: " yeah raping you wife that's cool bro" and "If she's sleeping I can't say no" the thing is though when this is said it's often a joke and no joking about things isn't supporting them comedy oftens comes from sadness and misery and comedians try to make it something funny no one but retards actually take it seriously and there are tons of murder jokes I guess everyone must think murder is okay. The comments are all just some bullshit from people it's hardly a rape culture though you want to see a real one go to Saudi arabia.

[jesshkah]

It's quite indicative of the overall mindset. I kind of only have the woman's perspective on rape as I am a woman, and admittedly women are less likely to be sentenced then men. I recognize and also made a point about how an issue is that many people don't think men can be raped, which is a part of this culture. I've also explicitly mentioned that these are my opinions on what is considered rape culture IN AMERICA. I know and understand that certain cultures experiences way worse than then US.

[Josht13]

I just think it's disingenuous to label it a rape culture when it's not an insane epidemic and the consensus is that it's bad

[Ozanne]

I've never heard of rape culture. Didn't know there was such a thing. But thanks to this MyTake I can go investigate it further. I'm the camp with others who believe that people should learn what consent is, know the consequences, and that those who are concerned about their safety should take extra precaution if they live in a high-crime area, or they themselves could be mistaken for being a victim before it even happens.

I never think that this is always so one-sided, that men are to blame just because a victim says something. There are so many flaws in the system whereby victims take advantage of it and get away with it. Everyone involved needs to take responsibility judging by their surroundings or who they take up with socially.

[YourFutureEx]

Hello Auntie! Nice to see you again :)

[Ozanne]

@YourFutureEx Hi Ex! :)

[YourFutureEx]

Hope everything is fine :)

[Ozanne]

Yes, all is well. Just enjoying life offline. :) You?

[YourFutureEx]

Working harder than ever. Hope to see a better sunrise in future :)

[jesshkah]

Hey @Ozanne, thanks so much for reading, and I'm glad this Take might have brought to light something you haven't looked into before :)

[PT1911]

You must have taken a huge break from GaG if you've never heard of rape culture lol

[Ozanne]

@PT1911 Yes, I was last on in August 2015 I think.

[YourFutureEx]

Agreed.

Except!

"Rape culture is when people use "raped" as a term of achieving significant victory in video games or sports."
Is your problem that you don't like the word "rape" to be used alongside "victory", or you just hate that word to be used at all? Because that is utterly defensive. People correcting others' grammar are called "Grammar Nazi", what is it? Neo-Nazism?

"Rape culture is when people refuse to date victims and see them as "broken goods", perpetuating the idea that there is something inherently wrong with them. Victims did not chose to be victims."
Not fully disagree, but everyone has one's own choices. You cannot force them to like such people.

"Rape culture is defining “manliness” as dominant and sexually aggressive and “womanliness” as submissive and sexually passive."
Isn't it really true?

[jesshkah]

No, regarding video games it's more about how the term is used as a way to indicate dominance and power and I feel that using it to describe something like a game is hugely taking away from the severity of the action to victims of real rape.

Yep, agree with your 2nd point. It's unfortunate but I know that's a thing and like the whole wanting to date virgins thing, not something people really will change their minds about.

3rd one, I wouldn't say so. I know plenty of guys who love it when a woman takes charge in the bedroom lol. I guess that part was a little restrictive sounding, it was meant more in the way that it sometimes promotes aggression from men in terms of getting sex, and women having to be the providers of it.

[YourFutureEx]

I think that's "thinking too much". The more comfortable we will be with using things, the more confident and educated the victims will be.
Look, in conservative societies, it's kind off profane to use the word rape even in general (positive) conversations. Consequently, the victims find it hard to report it because they're afraid that they'd not show their face in the society anymore. They just accept their misfortune which is totally wrong.

[YourFutureEx]

The more comfortable we will be with using those* words*

[jesshkah]

I see what you're saying, but I personally disagree I guess. Like I had a problem with people going around calling things retarded also. Not like a HUGE OMG THIS IS AN ISSUE problem, but more kinda irked and felt odd about it

[YourFutureEx]

Everybody has personal opinions and preferences. But I don't see a point in labelling this as "rape culture". Like seriously, I belong to a well respected family and I am well mannered myself and I called a close friend of mine that I raped him by defeating in a videogame just to tease him and then we guys just laughed together. Did I support "rape culture"? I seriously doubt it.

[jesshkah]

Not support it no, but partake perhaps? Because what I've defined it as includes the use of the word in less important ways.

[cth96190]

There is no rape culture in the West, with the exception of the Islamic invaders.
If you want to find a rape culture, go to the Islamic world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ2iCZATC14

[jacquesvol]

@cth96190 posts a collection of alleged rapists but forgets the white rapists.

[jacquesvol]

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[jacquesvol]

That link failed...

[jacquesvol]

WE never have a rape culture. Only our enemies have it. ALWAYS.