It breaks my heart sometimes to read some of the questions and takes written by those under 18 or in their 20s when they talk about some of the things they are going through and their feelings of being sort of hopeless about their situations. It is so incredibly difficult when you're young because often times you have no other option but to stay in a situation and deal with it either in your home life or at school because unless you happen to have a job and the ability to do so, you can't just pack up and leave your home or school situation.
I wish the campaign for "It Get's Better," had been around when I was in that stage of my life. The reason I think we as adults, repeat this mantra is because it's built on the truth. When you get adult status, it's almost as if you are finally allowed to control your own destiny. You can get a "real job," you can go and live where you want, you can get your own education where you want, you can do so much that you can't do if you're younger and under a parent or guardians rule and house.
High school is this super dramatic microcosm where everything matters all the time from who's dating whom, to what grade you got, to how you did in the game. People frequently get bullied just for basically existing or not complying to some arbitrary standards of beauty, brains, or brawn. It can be intense with internet bullying going on, and parents breathing down your neck or being super strict. It's just all right there all the time driving you crazy you some people get trapped into that spiral where they feel like there is nothing beyond that point.
I don't say it gets better to say that, as soon as you turn 18 all of your life's problems will be solved. That's not usually how the world works out for anybody, but more so that you can start to heal and fix the things you feel are wrong with your life using whatever skills you have or can acquire to do so. If you go the college route, it's not like high school. People are just all trying to deal with themselves, and there are so many, that there isn't really a point to focusing ones precious time and energy on just messing with or bullying one or two people when you've got a social life, school, work, and a lot of everything else going on.
If you're just in a sucky situation, concentrate on creating some small space where good in your life can exist. If you love to dance, or are an artist, or can write, or have good friends, put your energies there and let that be the thing you hold on to that gets you through to that next day. Concentrate on a future to come and of reminding yourself if you're being bullied, that it's only temporary and when 4 years is up if you're in high school, that's it. In the scheme of your hopefully long life, 4 years is a long drop if you're in the moment, but afterwards, it's time flown by.
If your home life is terrible, reach out, even if it's just to someone on the internet or a support group online, and create that safe space for you to deal with the problems in your life. We always like to think that we're so alone all the time and that we're the only ones with problems, but there are so many out there, that get it, because they're going through it too. Really that's the advice for everyone no matter the age, is that you really don't have to be or feel so alone and deal with everything just by yourself. And it does...get better. As crappy as the bad times are to go through, when you're up in life, they remind you to be thankful for the good moments and to cherish them.
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