Why I Believe Dressing Modestly Is Still Important In The 21st Century

melodysong

Why I Believe Dressing Modestly Is Still Important In The 21st Century

Disclaimer - The goal of this myTake is not to shame, judge or mock women who don't dress in a way that I consider to be "modest". The sole purpose of this myTake is to share MY journey of how I went from being a rebellious teen that constantly violated every dress code that was implemented by my school to a young woman that values modesty.

I can still vividly remember the day, I tried to step out of my house wearing my favorite shorts that barely covered my buttocks and a tank top that blatantly exposed my side cleavage. But before I could leave the house my mom grabbed my arms and dragged me back into my bedroom. She yelled, " I didn't buy you these clothes!". "No need to be rude or yell at me, mom" I retorted. I calmly told her I bought those clothes with the gift card she got me for my birthday. She then told me to wear a cardigan and a pair of jeans over my clothes. I was too stubborn to oblige. I was furious at her for "slut-shaming" me and stormed out of the house without listening to her. Now, I realize how utterly disrespectful my actions were that day.I should have listened to my mother and added the two more articles of clothes onto my scantily clad body before rushing to the mall that day.

After I arrived at the mall to meet up with my friends, one of my guy friends yelled " You're looking sexy today". I still remember how hearing that phrase made me feel so good about myself. It motivated me to dress more sensually to catch the attention of people around me. After successfully attracting male attention my plummeting level of confidence as a teen started to skyrocket. I was happy to know that I was desirable and an object of lust to many guys my age. I was happy that I was no longer the gawky teen with glasses and braces who was shunned from the male attention.

I started posting numerous Instagram pics with the perfect lighting and filter. I left no stone unturned to make sure my pictures had no trace of acne or any blemishes that my teenage skin was cursed with. Before posting a full body pic, I had to make sure that it accentuated every curve on my body. My selfies were immediately deleted if my pout didn't look provocative enough to post on social media. I became obsessed with having the 'perfect body".After devouring a slice of pizza I would frantically run to the gym to burn it off. Not being able to fit into my micro-bikini during summer was my worst nightmare.

After months of relentless effort to look good for other people I realized I wasn't happy.This profound revelation occurred, when I came across a picture of myself from two years back. I didn't recognize that girl. Maybe, my mind didn't want to because I was too ashamed to admit that it was me. I cringed at the unibrow, the crooked teeth, the acne scar and the protruding waistline of that girl. After seeing the pic and finally coming to terms with the brutal truth that it was me, I gave myself a huge pat on the back. I thought to myself that I have come a long way since then. I also tried to reflect on what has changed in my life since my transformation. Upon introspection, I realized the quality of relationship I have with my mother has gotten worse, the amount of time I spend pursuing my artistic and academic endeavors has reduced to half, my grades have deteriorated, the time I spend standing in front of the mirror has quadrupled , the number of Instagram followers I have has tripled and the amount of attention I get from boys has increased.

I realized I was paying a huge price for something very cheap like " male attention". I realized I had been deliberately dressing in a way that would provoke sexual lust in teenage boys with raging hormones for my own vanity. I realized that dressing "sexy" implies dressing in a way that would entice the opposite gender for sex.I started to hate myself for being a narcissist prick. I made the decision to deactivate my social media account and practice humility. I felt like I became so hungry for the approval of others that I stripped myself of my true identity. I wanted to get myself back and become me again. I started to focus on practicing my piano, helping my mother with household chores and buying clothes that fully cover my breasts, buttocks, and belly.

I went back to social media after being on a brief hiatus. This time. I wanted my followers to enjoy listening to my piano recitals or looking at my artwork not ogle at my cleavage. I wanted people to love me for my generosity or kindness, not "hotness". In the new age of social media, we all want to put our best foot forward. We want people to know how great we are by showing off our dashing body. Humility has unfortunately become a forgotten virtue. I don't think dressing sexy is humble because it's a form of self-aggrandizement. It's like trying to exercise our control over the opposite gender's sexual urges.

I started dressing modestly because I wanted to detract people's attention from my physical beauty to my inner one. I wanted to respect and honor myself by not presenting myself as a mere object of lust. I also encourage my young cousins to stop flipping through fashion magazines and learn about influential female scientists, athletes, singers, and philanthropists. The women who are not trotting out in bikinis but touching the hearts of millions of people and making the world a better place. I realized there is nothing more empowering or liberating than showing a middle finger to the beauty industry and posting an Instagram pic where your face is not perfectly contoured, your hair is not luxuriously shining but your face is brimming with love and acceptance of yourself.

Why I Believe Dressing Modestly Is Still Important In The 21st Century
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