I don't mean to be juvenile in thinking that his evasive behavior is "cheating", but I'll leave the decision to all of you:
I've been having a long distance relationship for about 4 months. We met on a dating site, and are both still on there. We both have attraction, but we know that until one of us moves to make this serious, we are each still dating others. This guy and I are both in our 40s, divorced and are about keeping it real, and no secrets. He tells me all kinds of (somewhat useless) detail about ex girlfriends, and some coffee dates. We talk about intimate things, and mundane things. He answers my questions about personal things which make him look bad, such as relationship issues, past bankruptcy, etc., and neither of us has avoided the truth, so I thought, due to the frank and immediate responses to odd questions.
Yesterday he told me about this gal who he used to date, had called him after a few years...and about how long ago they made a juvenile pact that if they each were single in 5 years they would get together (a la Sleepless in Seattle). He laughed and kidded that she probably wanted to get back with him, but he didn't see a future with her, due to her previous infidelity and odd lifestyle. In an unfazed tone, he said she's pretty, but it was a long time ago and he's over her...and mentions that he and I have more in common,etc.
I saw that she posted something on his Facebook page yesterday saying "looking forward to tomorrow...the big day! Hope you don't forget!"
I asked him about that this morning, and he said "oh yea, tomorrow would have been the 5 year anniversary of that day I told you about"...and he chuckled, but seemed uninterested, and matter of fact, not at all nervous or hiding anything. I asked if he was going to meet her and he said no...
This evening, I saw she put a note on his Facebook that said "hey handsome -nice to see you today!".
I didn't get a chance to ask him about it, because when I went back to Facebook this evening, it was gone, along with her other comment, and a handful of other posts on his wall.
I then noticed that the only thing I see on his wall are HIS posts, and even the posts of his guy friends are gone, as is the box to write on his wall.
This means he has blocked me from viewing his posts and writing on his wall.
(FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW/HAVE FACEBOOK, THIS IS A KEY COMPONENT OF ACCESS TO WHO/WHAT YOU ARE COMMUNICATING).
He didn't return my text/call, but that's not unusual, sometimes he doesn't until the next day, due to his late work schedule.
While I don't have any exclusivity with him, and we both know that, I'm concerned that his evasiveness is similar to lying about his feelings for me, or desire to be involved with her or others.
I don't know if he blocked her too, blocked everyone, or what.
He has made comments before about his brother asking who the girls are on his Facebook page, and briefly joked about having to explain when he gets "the third degree" . HELP!
- Vote A He blocked everyone from writing/seeing posts for his privacy
- Vote B He blocked me and is lying about this girl and trying to cover it up
- Vote C This other girl's posts were harmless, but he is blocking both of us, just in case
- Vote D He is evasive with you, and wants to see both of you
- Vote E This behavior is typical of someone who can't be trusted. Dump him.
Most Helpful Girl
There's many other guys out there...sounds like you want an exclusive relationship and he doesn't. Move on.0