Husband's co-worker seems a little too friendly!

Ok - went to a wedding for my husbands male co-worker. His female co worker came - she reports to him at work - He took me to see her in the hospital several months ago after the birth of her baby. Since then her husband and her have separated - he was cheating, etc. She seems to have shared this personal information with my husband. I didn't think much of it at first as we talk at my office too - but not with my boss - another female co worker in an equal position. At this wedding she was sat next to my husband - she stayed there all night. We brought our kids and one of us was up and down every so often with them. So I seemed to get moved around this table by chair hoppers but he and she were always side by side. She wore a revealing dress and seemed to chat it up with him all night long - never including me in the conversation. I had to ask what or he would tell me - not always only some of the times... She would lean over to only talk to him. I felt like she was watching him all night. I felt it was rude of her not to offer me her seat so I could sit next to my husband when others sat down and moved me farther away. I feel she talks about her personal life with my husband way too much. She made it a point to keep chatting with him and laughing all night long. To me she was flirting - right there in front of me - not overtly but still flirting. She even got up and did a booty shaking dance on the dance floor. I am not a jealous person but her actions make me uncomfortable. How can I talk to my husband about this without sounding like the jealous wife. She was disrespectful to me and our kids by only talking to him and not including me and she is getting too emotionally attached to him by sharing all of her personal problems with him - plus that is unprofessional. I want to do this the right way - Guys - what would be the best way for your woman to tell you that she feels another woman is trying to move in - so that you would actually take measures to put an end to it? I don't work close so I can just start popping into his office & make myself more seen.

Well I haven't had a chance to chat with my husband about this - as he leaves for work at 4:30 am and goes straight to school afterwards and doesn't get home till 9:30 - 10:00 pm. But they just had some lay off's at his work - which he is stressing about
And the woman in question got laid off. Don't know if it's perm or temp. Seeing how stressed he is over his job didn't want to burden him at the moment but will talk about it when more appropriate. Thanks for the help!
Ok -sound found out the girl didn't get laid off after all - they moved around some other people. So I decided to talk to my husband - he actually brought it up - because I told him I had wanted to talk to him. Well he only partially listened to me
He told me I sounded jealous. I told him if I was jealous I would have went straight to her. I didn't even get to the details of that night - I started with the personal conversations he has with her at work about her personal life and how she will become
emotionally dependent on him. He gets way off track telling about office politics and doesn't even let me finish! I am just jealous in his eyes and there is nothing wrong and he didn't even listen to my issues with that night!
Thanks so much to everyone. Found out more dirt - this woman sounds a bit disturbed and yes she is laid off. So I don't think she will be an issue. If it appears she has not disappeared from his life then it's time to really sit down. Thanks to all!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Im with Simonette...his reactions and behavior is what is key here. I was in a similar situation with a friend of my bf's... She's a huge party girl, very flirtatious, wears revealing clothing, and they work together often. Everytime I saw her, it was like she commanded his attention and always found a way to pull him away to talk to him, but she wasn't my concern, my boyfriend was.

    Id had enough one day, and gave *him* the most fierce glare you can imagine during one of their "private" talks. He immediately stepped back, and since then makes sure I'm right by his side and pulls me closer whenever she's around. A few months later, I ran into her and she told know..that guy really does love you. I don't know, he must have talked to her but point his gf, I deserved more respect than was up to him to handle she was his friend/co-worker...and he did so.

    I'm not a jealous person either...being around beautiful women and the social scene is part of his job...none of that bothers me, but she stepped over the line. If the glare hadnt worked, I would have called him out on it and let him know I find the whole thing disrespectful. If that didn't work, then Id have some reconsidering to do...cause there's no way I'm going to take 2nd place whenever she's around. No way.

    No one can control how she behaves and what she does, but he is in *full control* over how he reacts, maintaining his personal space and respecting your relationship. He needs to get a handle on that.

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      Saw your update....thats not good at all... He should be defensive about his relationship with you...instead he's defensive over whatever it is with this woman. That in and of itself would p*ss me off....forget jealousy, he has his priorities in the wrong place.