Do you think the internet has inflated women's egos to the point that they have a false sense of themselves?

[BigPunny]

I ask this, because men, while trying to get the attention of a woman, will use cookie-cutter words like 'gorgeous' or 'hot', etc. when referencing women that aren't that great looking. I mean, obviously, we all have different thoughts on what is appealing and what is not, but it's generally the same thing. You'll see a halfway decent-looking woman post a picture, which is then followed by 10+ guys all telling her how gorgeous and sexy she is, etc.

Have you found that women of today have inflated egos (that aren't necessarily in line with her level of attractiveness), and if so, would you attribute the inflation with men that will call just about anything with a vagina 'beautiful'?

Yes

No

Not sure

Updates

+1 y

I'd like to point out how split this is: 13 guys say yes, while 11 girls say no. This is significant to me, because it's typical for the person with ego never to realize they're being full of themselves. Granted, this proves nothing, but it does raise my eyebrows, especially since I'm definitely not the only male seeing this trend. :)

[Hopefuldreamer8]

Well I think it depends on the girl. I am unattractive, and I know I am. People have been telling me most of my life that my face is unattractive. Guys have rejected me because of this reason. They've told me to my face that they didn't find me attractive and that's why they didn't want me. I've never had a date in my life. I'm still a virgin. The only time I've kissed a guy was when we were extremely drunk and that was when I was 21.

I don't post my pictures, but I've had people tell me I can't be that ugly and they insist I send a picture. So I've sent a picture through the PM on here to a few people who have asked. Automatically I'll get a "Nope, you're not ugly, it's all in your head." So I sent the same picture to my sister who has always been honest about my looks. I asked her if I looked better in that picture than usual. She said no and she wanted to know why I asked. I explained, and she told me that people are probably just trying to make me feel better. She told me that the picture was actually a very unflattering one of me because my hair was messy, and she was surprised someone didn't point that out to me. So usually I know people are just trying to be nice when they say I am attractive when I am not.

However, there are so many girls on this site who post rate me questions. They call themselves ugly, but it's extremely beautiful girls who are posting. They'll get a bunch of guys calling them beautiful, and some don't believe it. There are some I think that are maybe attention seeking (it's obvious with the half naked shots) but for the most part I think some aren't secure with their looks. I'm usually shocked because some are genuinely beautiful girls, and I can't imagine how they think they're ugly.

So I think it really depends on the girls. Some are willing to believe the compliments and some aren't.

[BigPunny]

I think you make a very valid point here. And it's funny you bring up the "rate me" pics. Hell, I told this woman to shut up yesterday, because it's annoying when a woman with a near-perfect body and great-looking features comes on there trying to get a bunch of guys to start drooling all over here by saying she feels "fat" or doesn't think she looks good. It's annoying.

And I'll say, my question was more for those middle-of-the-road people that aren't phenomenally good-looking, but also wouldn't have anyone calling them ugly either.

I'll also say, you're very brave to have that outlook of yourself. To accept that you're 'ugly' is both sad and inspirational, because you're so candid about it here. It seems that you've accepted this and it also seems like you aren't too upset by it - I think that's wonderful.

I'll also say that personality can make a woman good-looking or ugly, regardless of her physical appearance. So you do you and eventually something great will happen to you!

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I know what you mean by those questions. I remember seeing one where the girl just blackened out her nipples but showed the rest of her body. It was obvious what she was doing.

I learned to accept it a long time ago. I had severe social anxiety in my late teens/early 20s because of it. However I decided that I didn't I want to hide away because of it. So I forced myself to socialize. I have a few good friends now who don't care about my looks.

The only time it bothers me is when people feel the need to rub it in. Otherwise I just ignore it now.

[BigPunny]

I think this is fantastic. I urge you to write a myTake about this very thing. I believe if you can portray yourself in the exact same manner that you've done here in this response, you'll be able to help a lot of other women that might be in the same position you are.

Accepting one's self is the true measurement of how beautiful a person is. Good looking women that can't accept themselves often turn me way off, because of what we talked about above.

I really would like you to write one, for me, and let me know when you've finished it.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I might at some point.

[BigPunny]

I look forward to reading that if you do. No worries though if you don't feel comfortable writing that, but you're very well spoken and seem to have a great perspective. Thanks for your comments. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation.

[RachelBrigs]

I don't like anything about myself. Granted this is more because of my life experiences than society/guys but if this is a thing then I've missed out.

I've had tons of guys call me cute and tell me I have a nice body. Do I feel cute or sexy, ever? No.

My friends- almost all of them- are the same way. They don't have self esteem as nonexistent as mine but they are still insecure.

If anything the Internet has made all people but especially young girls more insecure. there's twitters, tumblrs, Facebooks, IGs, forum threads and other sites dedicated solely to pictures of hot girls. Usually involving photoshop and trickery. A hot girl with big boobs posts an IG picture and suddenly she's famous and worshipped by all the guys who see it. Sure that makes her feel like queen of the world but what about every other girl? We compare ourselves to these images constantly. I know I do. At least, I used to a lot more.

Guys encounter a similar problem but it isn't to this extent. I'm sure all the guys on Gag thing men have it worse, that's there's more women drooling over photo shopped men on the Internet etc but that's simply untrue. Discard the victim mentality

[RachelBrigs]

And I have spent enough time around very young girls to see the extent on this problem. When 9 year old girls are saying their BREASTS are "too small" and 5 year olds are dieting and 11 year olds are wearing full faces of makeup... there is a problem with young girls and their self esteem. But the butt hurt guys are upset that some women might feel hot

[CrayolaCupcake]

Completely agree. Maybe there are some obnoxious, arrogant women out there that get a lot of attention, but the majority of women are insecure about their bodies.

[Anonymous]

Whenever anyone say posts a photo to facebook, I think whether man or woman, people just like it or compliment it as sort of a precursor to those people doing the same for you. Every post up of a photo is basically ego based for men and women. When do you ever expect to post up a picture and for 10 people to comment, well, you don't look that great or you're ugly. No one does that. In fact, I think any sane and rational person would probably delete those individuals. I compliment people all the time, most of the time I mean it, sometimes I only maybe half mean it, but we all need a little love, a little you're gorgeous, and little help of the old ego from time to time. That doesn't necessarily translate into you having a big head necessarily, its just part of more of the automatic social graces of social media these days.

[BigPunny]

You seem to be focusing your energy on FB, but I didn't have FB in mind when I posted this. Perhaps I should have been more specific. FB isn't a dating site, by any means. I'm referring more towards dating sites like meetme or other 'thread-based' dating sites.

[Opinion Owner]

It's the same premise. If you or anyone for that matter posts a photo there or elsewhere, you don't post expecting someone to tell you you are ugly or unattractive. That would make even less sense on a dating website then say facebook, and also as you kind of hinted at beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so who necessarily is lying or inflating anyone's ego there. I mean the simple answer would be, the age old if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it. You don't like a person's picture, you aren't clicking on them in the first place or complimenting them in the first place right? So one can only guess at or generally assume that the compliments are truthful.

[BigPunny]

Go to Meetme. com and you will see what I'm talking about. I don't think you're understanding the meaning of it, or maybe I'm not explaining it properly - but then again, everyone else seems to understand it, so I dunno.

Here's the best example I can give - every day on a dating site, a woman will post an image of herself, get 50 likes (or more) and 10-20 comments of guys saying the same thing: gorgeous, beautiful, etc. Yet the woman NEVER says 'thank you'. Hell, the woman rarely even responds to all the compliments. And on a dating site, if you're posting your picture, there's a VERY good chance you're doing so to generate interest.

And the cycle continues. But with the normal person, and average-looking female, they generally get the same responses: gorgeous, hot, beautiful, stunning, etc. Cookie-cutter.

A woman that is constantly told she's "beautiful" will likely begin believing she's pretty, right? Under normal circumstances, that's a conditioned reaction to such things.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, just to shorten this conversation. If you ask women if they have an ego based on their looks, they will say no. If you ask men if they have an ego based on their looks, they will say no. Hence, your survey results. If you want someone to talk to you, like you, whatever, you compliment them, you make them feel good. Not a hard concept. Generally speaking pretty people know they are pretty and ugly, vice versa. This is learned over time at an early age, not suddenly based on internet likes or compliments.

[523206720]

Humility is not dependent on your level of sex appeal. both good looking people and ugly people can lack humility and both good looking people and ugly people can be very humble. It is not a lack of sex appeal that is necessary but a lack of arrogance.

[BigPunny]

I LOVE this answer. Just love it. :)

[TheGeorge]

No it does not. You have to look at the real world women. Only a small percentage of women frequent internet sites like this, the same goes for guys. And it is usually those who are less attractive, less confident and generally less successful with the opposite sex when it comes to dating. So yes for you few women here it might have inflated your ego a bit, but it has absolutely no real world implications, as most people never visit such sites to begin with. Furthermore I doubt these women really keep an inflated ego when they start to date in the real world. It's different being told by a random dude on the internet that you look hot, and then going out there and meet actual dudes who won't even look at you twice.

[BigPunny]

So where does cat-calling come into play with that? I've witnessed numerous occasions where average-looking women were cat-called.

Isn't that the same type of thing? But then again, that's likely just an annoyance for women. I wonder if that ever works? lol

[TheGeorge]

I think it's a cultural thing. In certain countries it's just common to cat-call any woman who doesn't have a man besides her. In my country only jerks would even consider doing that. But in general I'd say that has less to do with an inflated ego of the woman and more to do with a lack of confidence of the man.

[BigPunny]

"lack of confidence" to cat call? I don't know, I think cat-calling would require a bit more confidence than you think.

As far as using cookie-cutter compliments, I think that stems from a lack of creativity and just pure laziness. lol

[TheGeorge]

No I meant lack of confidence to only cat-call hot women. He isn't confident enough so he settles with average. And I think there are also a few jerks who cat-call an average looking woman just to make fun of her. Kinda like bullying.

[Ihav2fart]

It depends on the individual, I wouldn't generalize a gender as a whole.
There are some beautiful girls with really low self-esteem who will get a ridiculous amount of compliments but those compliments won't do anything for her self-esteem.

[BigPunny]

And see, that's unfortunate. I think the purpose of my question is more to shine a light on how external feedback does not equate to reality.

A person's ability to simply 'accept' themselves is much more healthy than relying on a constant flow of compliments from very superficial people on the internet.

But I have noticed a trend, at least in the online world, that women don't like themselves unless they receive those kinds of comments, but then have to continually post pictures in order to gain more 'acceptance' from external feedback rather than simply accepting themselves for who and what they are.

It really is sad.

Thanks for the comment!

[Ihav2fart]

Sometimes it's not as easy and just accepting the compliment. Everyone's mental psyche works differently.

[Ihav2fart]

Thanks :o

[BigPunny]

It was a hard choice, but I liked yours the best as it was the most genuine and straightforward, so thank YOU!

[Aeon_Flux_21]

You look like a badboy version of Illusion_man in that Avy. hehe

[Aeon_Flux_21]

I meant illusive_man

[Ihav2fart]

@Aeon_Flux_21 or he looks like a good boy version of me.

[paulina_g]

Yeah, I think it's true. As a girl, I've been called good looking/pretty/hot etc on many occasions but personally it does very little to my self esteem cause it's hard to tell if the person complimenting is sincere or not. It goes for both guys and girls by the way... So I'd say it depends on your personality. If you're like me and you're shy and unsure of yourself, then you're probably gonna question it.

[Johnnyjay]

I understand completely what you mean. go to sites that used to be popular like hot or not and girls who are 5s are getting 8s and 9s. meanwhile a avg looking guy gets like a 4. but I see this happen in real life too. always see some guy trying to talk to some chick and acting like she is a dime. I suppose it dosent matter as long as that girl dosent act like the shit after words

[Dovahbear]

I think the people who constantly post pictures on Facebook are a little insecure.
Inflated egos or not, most of them just want to feel better about themselves and seeking approval from others is their way of having an edge over others.
While I am not saying that some of them don't have inflated egos, there are others who are just looking for compliments to make them feel better.

[oldanddecrepid]

I think it only helps to boost the ego of some really insecure people, so I don't think it hurts. We all need a little boost once in awhile!

The big thing is... we don't know what they are really like, so attractiveness is only part of the equation. They may be good looking, but that may be all they are!

[PiuBelloAmante]

yeah... it does make them feel a bit more full of themselves, but thats only if they do get 100's of likes and comments etc

most "Unattractive" girls dont really get that kind of attention
so really we are just making pretty girls feel, even more full of themselves

i love girls who aren't into social media...

[LightsOff]

Well, just because these guys call her hot and gorgeous it doesn't necessarily mean it'll get to her head or inflate her ego. And like you said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder thus very subjective. They might truly think she is hot and gorgeous even if you don't.

[kittykatbrat]

(laughing)
I model part time and choose NOT TO EVER buy into my own press.

[BigPunny]

That's probably a good way to go about your career. :) There's always some asshole out there. :P

[kittykatbrat]

(smiling)
... ty.
Haters are always going to hate dude
Peace xo

[QuestionMan]

Yes it's like the prerequisite to getting compliments is to be a girl that posts a picture in revealing clothing.

[BigPunny]

LOL. No kidding. Awesome response. :)

[TrajanJJ]

100% absolutely. I am consistently on facebook and look at the stuff girl post.
The majority of things they post is to get attention.
And they do get it from a bunch of desperate horny guys who say and do whatever to appease them.

[laneyy]

I'd say it affects both sexes but not equally. Women have seem to become more infatuated with beauty and ego due to the internet.

[Anonymous]

No I think it's more the fact that good looking men would use a less attractive woman for sex. She then thinks men of that standard are her equals and her ego inflates not knowing a man that good looking would never actually date her.

My ego is inflated due to my dating/relationship history, the men are hot, mostly models/model like.
The number of men I get online means nothing to me.

[blondfrog]

Yeah I'd say so that's mostly true I don't like how guys on this site will like give every girl a high rating in looks I think they just say that to not hurt their feelings. It probably has something to do with how people's identities are more exposed on GAG then say on reddit or some other site.

[ResonantGuy]

Internet has inflated egos of some people & at the same time it has inflated selflessness of some people. Everyone is delusional and either flying high or crawling on ground.
Here people != women.

[Jessicocoa]

No, because I think most of us feel like it's not genuine.

[BigPunny]

That's a good point, actually. But then I wonder why they continually post pictures knowing the responses aren't genuine. Just a thought. :)

[zombiebabe]

tbh i think both men and women are concerned by this

[AngryHorny]

a woman's ego is like a leaky bicycle tyre. It requires constant pumping.

[ShaeNielson]

No, not at all. But I think you're a horrible person, for wanting anyone to think less of themselves based on how they look, or not being worthy of being called "hot" or "gorgeous" even though they in your eyes are not.

[BigPunny]

I never said I wanted people to think less of themselves, but I've noticed a trend that women have an inflated view of their own attractiveness based on the quick and easy responses of men.

Is it bad that they feel attractive, or think they're attractive? Of course not, but that's not my point. If you really believe that everyone is gorgeous, then you haven't been paying attention. There will always be different levels of beauty, and often times our confidence levels equate to how we accept ourselves.

Like the woman below who admits to being ugly but has accepted this fact. I think that is beautiful - much more so than superficially, and artificially inflated views of one's self based on outside feedback.

[ShaeNielson]

I just don't agree with you at all on that.

[BigPunny]

That's fine, but I'm not a horrible person by any stretch of the imagination. But if calling me that makes you feel better about yourself, then by all means.

[Bards]

Lol no. It goes for both sexes and equally.

[Prof_Don]

Yup, absolutely agree.

[Bigdaddyslim]

I think you are totally right