We often here women complain about how guys are so superficial and try to make then conform to a certain beauty standard. Making many girls feel pressured into applying makeup, having eating disorders and so forth.
Example:
Many girls say that men are unrealistic in their expectations and are shallow for finding women who look like the above to be the ideal beauty standards that women should conform towards.
YET
No one has addressed the issue of women wanting men to conform to a cookie cutter personality that they see attractive. We often here girls say be yourself and some girl would like you in the end. For most guys that doesn't work out. An introverted male will always do terrible with women.
By in large majority of women like extroverted males who are not into geeky stuff, funny, confident, upbeat and is not afraid to make jokes abou her and has a little bit of an asshole side to him.
Men who are not naturally born with these traits will always find themselves doing badly with women. Yet, our society never acknowledges this side of the coin when it comes to dating. A guy might be natural introverted, shy, not as witty and quick on his feet, smooth talker. Hence many guys often have to adjust or learn to change their personality when talking to girls. It's no different than women put on makeup to attract men when you get right down to it.
Does anyone think that men having to conform to a cookie cutter personality is an equal valid complaint to the beauty expectation society places on women?
Why has no one complained about women wanting men to conform to a certain personality standard?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
No. It's true there's some pressure for guys to have a certain personality type--but it's not as strong as the pressure for women's looks. Just take a look at the 'desirable' or 'cool' main characters of shows and movies. Try to find ONE woman who's fat or physically ugly who's still considered "desirable", who has at least one either "cool" or "desirable" male character who is dating her or wants to date her.
Meanwhile, you have these guys:
Leonard and Penny from The Big Bang Theory: He's definitely a nerd, a geek, and when they first meet, is super awkward and shy around her. They date and then marry. img3.wikia.nocookie.net/.../...onard_and_Penny.jpg
Three guys with less-than-"ideal" personalities, who are the stars of their respective shows, and have "ideal" (attractive) mates. It's true that this isn't super common, but at least it happens for guys in popular media. The reverse doesn't really happen for women.
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Asker
+1 y
All these are fictional characters not real life. Just as how of these movies of the nice guy getting the gir in the end doesn't pan out to be true.
To some extent, movies both shape and reflect real life. It's a matter of exposure. If all a girl sees in the movies are happy, pretty women with attractive, outgoing guys, then she's going to grow up thinking that the way to be happy, and the way to prove to herself and others that she's pretty, is to date an attractive, outgoing guy. But when she sees a pair on tv like Penny and Leonard, it opens up her options. Some girls will still prefer outgoing guys, but some girls will like Leonard's personality, and realize that liking a nerdier guy doesn't make them any less cool or pretty or happy.
"To some extent, movies both shape and reflect real life."
No they don't many movies tend to shape and reflect the ideals of what society wants to be true or seek as morally right. When it comes to nerdy introverted guy winning out and getting the girl in the end that's the biggest deciet of lies ever and it's why many men often find themselves angered and confuse when the fairy tale lie they've been fed to doesn't work out. It's actually as a bad as single mothers telling their son that girls like guys who are kind and caring then they think that's all that needs to be showed and they get mad when it doens't pan out.
I've said this before and I'll say again. People can have whatever standards they want. If you don't fit a certain person's standards move the fuck on. I think everyone should stop complaining about the standards of others and either A: Improve themselves or B: Find someone else. It's that simple.
This is complete B. S. Guys are expected to have good personalities to get attractive woman and any decent human being would want to be judged based on their personality.
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1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Define "good"
Many of guys have good personalities of being kind, caring towards people yet get consistently dump by women in place of men who exemplifies these traits more. Often at times many of these traits tend to come along with guys with sociopathic tendencies.
Again, I keep telling girls because they are so hellbent and think their 'golden vagina's' can change a guy. You can't change a guy period. Again, a lot of double standards here but I am not gonna get into this again. The same nonsense over and over. Nice guy this, girls complaining about jerks their with, blah blah blah. How about you girls start taking responsibility for whom YOU choose and how about you guys try something different or be the a hole to get laid.
0
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Asker
+1 y
I'm not talking about nice guys here and so forth. I'm just bringing to the forefront that the same complaints women bring to unrealistic beauty standard society places on them has a male equivalent to this. Men often than not have to fake and put on a different personality to get girls to like them. It was even a question recently on gag if a guy changing his personality to get into a relationship/have one night stands with a girl was wrong. Many of the females said it was and guys countered with saying that often at times being yourself doesn't work very well when dealing with women.
Oh, in that case I agree 100%. You have to be this jerk, this a hole, this 'fun' guy and have that personality to get laid. Quite sad if you ask me and it says a lot about those women. No self worth or self esteem. They get what they deserve in the end.
Who cares. Appearently girls like tall guys, who are dark and have toned muscles. Yet go outside and look around, like doesn't wprk like that. My skinny white ass has managed to get laid yet im not neccessarily cool, i was quiet in high school, doesn't mean shit. Girls are into different things, just find one that mind how big of a moron you are and your golden. Good luck.
You don't need to be anything. Be yourself. Don't change for anybody. If some people don't like it then don't entertain their company. Nobody ever gets on with everybody. Even jesus pissed off the jews and the Romans. Trying to live up to an image is pretencious and believe me that's a horrible characteristic to nurture. No-one in their right mind likes it. You don't have to be a nice guy, that's an image nor a alpha (what a load of shit) that's an image too. Do try and have fun though
Really? Because I hear a lot of bitching and the rise of the "nice" guy movement? So if you consider all those bitter guys "nobody", then I guess you're right.
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Asker
+1 y
Explain when has the nice guy movement amounted to anything but ridicule and scorn from women?
At least with beauty standards men have adjusted towards it and society broken down by making beauty standards less lack (recent articles of ideal beauty in women featured women who looked like this)
All of which are widely obtainable. We also got the introduction of more plus size models and big is beautiful campaign all of which telling women now they no longer need to have the traditional beauty standard and being plump is good too.
I don't see any damn campaign for nice guys or introverted guys being encouraged as sexy by women to date these days. And when guys complain of constantly being passed over by women for being nice all their going to end up hearing from female and some of male side is 1) they are manipulative assholes trying to be nice to get into a girls pants 2) not really nice 3) pussies.
Now i bet your probably going to read this and reply with: 1) Your bitter 2) Or assume I'm a nice guy (I'm a normal guy. I'm just replying to your "nice guy statement)
In pop culture, there has been an acceptance of more "geeky/dorky/introvert/shy" guys. And even then, with hot girls. Same with the media accepting non perfect women.
-Scrubs -How I Met Your Mother -Big Bang Theory
I'm sure there are more popular shows and movies where the quirky guys get the girl, and not just any other geeky average girl, but a hottie as well.
Sucks to be any nice guy I must admit. Looks can at least be changed through gym and cosmetic surgery. Try changing a personality that was forged in your sub conscious during your childhood years. To change your personality and persona is a seriously difficult thing to do.
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