Also, they are all white (my boyfriend and his family)
My boyfriend's mom doesn't like me because I am black. How to be more... nice?
Also, they are all white (my boyfriend and his family)
That sucks, I'm sorry. Four years is a long time to be together, so it's clear you guys are serious. Does your boyfriend know about this? If not, you should tell him - maybe he could convince her to act like a decent human being.
Alternatively, could you talk to her? I realise that you shouldn't have to try and play nice with someone who's being so unreasonable, but is it possible you could make her feel really guilty and she might change her behaviour?
Either way, so sorry for your situation - I admire you for managing not to punch her (I don't think I could resist), but I'm happy for you that you and your boyfriend are still together and have managed to survive this. Good luck to you, hope it turns out ok
Call her out. If You and boyfriend are adults, She has no bearing in your relationship.
Unfortunately... as someone who has been in those same shoes before... I don't think there is anything that you can do. Especially if it is her being truly racist, because you're more than likely not going to fix that for her. That's something she's going to have to get over herself. As for her calling you a gold digger and such, I think you have a better chance of fixing that because as time goes on and with you continuing to be there for your boyfriend, and support him, and treat him well, she will hopefully eventually see that you have his best interest in mind. That's a road that gets exhausting, but you guys can do it if you focus on each other. Good luck!
It sounds like you are doing all you can do. It's not up to you to make up for her racism.
She isn't a very nice person, but you aren't doing anything wrong. It sounds like you are being respectful towards her, and that's all you can be.
I wouldn't try to be overly nice to her to win her over. She doesn't deserve any special favours. Just be respectful. But keep boundaries.
Protect your feelings first and foremost.
He should be the one to put his foot down here and tell her to try for him, like you do, or she'll see him on holidays only.
I'll talk to him about that. Thank you
well tell her to go f a donkey and that just because of your race is not a reason to hate someone
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Does he love you?
If so you should worry about it, be polite, be better than her and don't get down to her level of hate.
And if you truly love him, this will be a breeze to do!
You might never get her to like you, not should you care, as long as you two are happy.
The only one who is missing something out of all this, is her.
Yes we love each other very much and I agree but five years of knowing her is driving me insane. I never met anyone so bitter and disgusting in my life
I've been through that as well, for only two years tho.
And while I have to admit, that it was ridiculously hard, now that my relationship ended it made me realize that all I had to do was just pretend she is a stranger. And I'm always nice to everyone, so it would have been manageable.
But I didn't have the strength at the time to be better than her, mostly because she was also a terrible mother to all her kids.
So in a way she won, and I do regret it.
So stay strong, cause you are definitely better!
My grandma was also terrible to my step dad, but guess what, my step dad didn't care (as much as possible) and while it was hard, he is now still happy with my mom, we (the kids) grew up and realized how bad she was, and she pretty much ended up loosing everything.
Who would you say had the happier life in the end?
Ok. I understand. I'm just so stubborn but I'll definitely try harder. I didn't give a rats ass during the first 3 years and couple months but now I want to punch and hurt her
Sorry about your past situation by the way
Very true because my boyfriend is awesome and definitely not like his mom
Thanks:). Hope life is working out for you
Yikes, I would try to kill her with kindness and ignore her rude behavior.
Just let it go in one ear and out the other. That's all you really can do that won't make matters worse.
All you can do is continue to treat her son well.
Racist mama, good luck dude
Tell me about it. Normally I'm more polite but knowing her for 5 years is enough to make me completely insane
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