Do you come from a traditional family? And what is your definition of traditional?
I believe that I'm quite traditional and I come from a traditional family.
Some people also have a misconception that if a woman is traditional, she is NECESSARILY submissive, miserable or has "internalized misogyny", but I completely disagree.
For me, a traditional woman is someone who wants to get married to a man and have a strong family, the kids have the man's last name. She is USUALLY religious, but it's not Necessarily the case. The man is usually the main breadwinner (doesn't mean the woman doesn't work).
PS: When I say family in the Poll, it's mostly parents.
My Family and I are traditional.
My Family is traditional, but I am not traditional at all.
My Family and I aren't traditional.
My Family is not traditional, but I am.
Both my family and I are Half/Half (somehow traditional but not too much)
My Family is traditional, I'm also quite traditional (Half/Half) but not very traditional or at least less than my parents.
I'd say I am somewhat traditional. Before all the raging hipsters come at me, no I do not see women to be submissive slaves for their husbands.
Now onto the point, I was also raised traditionally too. We are not religious by the way. My dad works as a manager on an oil-rig and he makes a lot of money. All my life, I was brought up by my stay-at-home mother, but that was only because of my dad's job since he works for 6 months a year, therefore I don't see him as much. So my mother was the one to look after me and my sister in the last 14 years for the most part. I am very thankful of my parents and especially my mother for putting up with me. Also, my dad since his income has spoiled us with good standard of living, family holidays around the world and a little investment in me and my sister's university education. And I hope to repay them in some way in the future. But now that I am old enough to look after the house myself, my mother has been working at a designer shop in the last year, so she is making money for herself too.
I hope in the future, I find a nice woman who wants marriage and is willing to have kids with me. That's all I want. Traditional roles like being a stay-at-home parent for example are all entirely her choice, I would never tell my future wife "be this", "do that", blah, blah, blah...
Well, if a woman is more into the whole "stay at home in order to focus on raising children" thing, that type of lifestyle is a luxury that you can do only if the male's job pays well enough for two people's possible joint income.
The moment she says "the man is the leader of the family", then she is devaluing themselves and that's why it's labeled as internalized misogyny, the belief that you are inferior to the male just because he is male and you are female. The notion that a "wife submits to the husband", implying that their sex defines them as lesser.
Anyways, I am not traditional, although I do take the elements from them that I like. But I don't just take the whole damn thing if it makes no sense to me.
Letting someone take the lead doesn't make you inferior. I'm the more dominant one in my relationship yet I don't see my girlfriend as inferior, when I make a decision it's based on what I think is best for everybody and I take into account her opinion too. I lead my kids, are they inferior to me? No, that's just my job as the Father.
family wasn't traditional, my mom was the person who fixed things as well as cooked, my dad was the fun guy who took us out places. my mom basically ran the household, not my dad. i don't think i'm that traditional in the sense of religious or obedient (except in the sheets ;) ) but i wouldn't be against traditional male-female roles in the household, since i'm naturally better at the typical female gender roles. so i'm... modern traditional i guess
Most of my relatives go to the bar before they come over for dinner. The last Christmas get together four people were high, two were drunk, and my aunt dry humped my ass as a joke during family photos... My dad raised me to believe my gender didn't matter and I could do anything regardless, and he expected me to do things he would expect of anyone else. There was no "be lighter on her, she's a girl."
My family isn't traditional. Didn't practice a religion. My mom found her spirituality first then I followed years later. I think I'm like half and half. I like certain traditional things but their are some traditions I don't like ( westernized marriage ).
My family is not at all traditional. This is exactly what inspired me to want a traditional family. There is very little love between my parents at this point. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that this is because my father wasn't the dominant figure. My mother was. You know the whole "What's hers is hers and what's his is hers?" That's how it was. You know what that did? My mom had zero respect for my dad. As @redeyemindtricks once said:
"If a woman owns a man, she can never respect him.. If a man owns a woman, their love for each other will skyrocket."
Something like that.
But then I realize, not only would that have saved my parent's relationship, it applies to me too. Out of the relationships I had, the ones where I was the dominating figure were the most passionately amorous by a landslide. This is another reason I want a traditional relationship. Because there's just something about me being the one to be in charge of the relationship that just... OoOOOoOooOo.
Note that "leadership" can take many forms. What's indispensable -- and really the ONLY thing that's indispensable -- is basically spiritual headship, along with being the one who's in charge when Shit Goes Down. That's what matters here.
This is NOT a matter of earning more money, or any of that shit. (I make about 82 percent of the income in my family... and I am not the head of the family unit.) And if "leadership" in a marriage is defined with dollar signs, then that marriage is in trouble.
Equally importantly, "leadership" is not authoritarian despotism. A good leader always maximizes the talents of those under her/him -- and the same is true for a good family leader. If you are the head of yr marriage, and yr wife is genuinely better at, or more knowledgeable than you about, something, then "leadership" is all about allowing her advice/skill to guide that part of yr life together. You're the captain, she's the first mate. Not a slave.
Well I'm a man of old-word-values, but that too is misleading, I think such values can easily be brought int the modern era. Just wait, I'm sure I'll come up with an amazingly dumb example! But I'll answer anything. Well here's an example: I think that a wo/man might generally dominate the kitchen, so to speak, but that anyone that is a too much a sissy to step-in (hoping for a lil' trust from their partner!) is something that should be done as often as possible. Yes, if the woman is a ("home wife" or whatever the PC term is these days, sorry, I don't know or truly care!) but then Yeah it's nice if she (or he in the opposite scenario) has some delightful dinner ready when s/he gets home! But since most people both work these days, that's kinda BS! So find out what works for YOU and so long as it's "fair" I see no issues! Plus there's "labor"! So, I'm willing to just give and give, because she's more of a man than I at that time! I figure 5+ years of debt, no? So, yup!
I am very traditional. No woman of mine would work outside of the home ever. I am also very respectful to my woman and so any disrespect from her to me would get her put over my knee or slapped. And she absolutely would be having a bunch of kids and being the primary caregiver and keeping up the household. I've been in a very long term relationship like this and it was everything I could ever want and more. I didn't realize it at first but now I know its by far the most important thing there is when dating. I would never even date a girl who didn't want a full on 1950's style relationship because anything else is completely dysfunctional.
Well I do as far as that goes.. the only thing that may take away from that.. is what I now wear.. but it was a fluke accident that landed me in them.. and I did not really ask to be in them.. but I try and cope the best way I can.. so far it has all worked out.. take care
I am traditional and have strong family values, not really religious but am spiritual in my beliefs. My So would have the option to be a stay at home wife/mother or work outside the home if she wanted. I don't need a submissive women just an open, trusting and responsive woman that let's me lead.
My mom stays home and watches my siblings and I (we're homeschooled) and my dad works (from home and occasionally he flys to headquarters in Michigan) but I'm not very traditional. I don't really want a wedding (however, I do want to get married) and if I have kids, which is a big if, I want to adopt. I also want to work, and I'm not sure I'll stay home with my hypothetical children, my husband might
Depends on who you ask. We're traditional in that we're each pretty religious and believe in standard roles like women as mothers and men as fathers etc. Though we're also pretty open about topics like sex, even for women, and don't find it shameful or anything as long as it's within marriage. I'm the smart one in my family, my little brother is the physical one, and our little sister exhibits a bit of both qualities. Each of us and particularly her want to have families someday.
I voted but I think I voted wrong lol. my parents are very traditional but I am somewhat screwed up. I have mixed views about different topics and my stance might change too. so I dunno, I guess it s better not to label what you are and just get on with it.
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Anonymous
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+1 y
My family is traditional and conservative. I am not traditional and socially very liberal. Only thing traditional I have is family values, family is important to me. Family comes first. However I doubt that it is only correlated to being traditional, even though family being traditional also did have an impact on my views on family.
I also personally don't like my partner being traditional either. Find it too constrictive.
I don't think my family is traditional... And I'm the very opposite lol. I wouldn't be able to give a good definition of what it is, but I would say sharing values and respecting them... Well, I do respect my parents but we are independent people and we are not tied by some religion.
My family is super traditional and religious. But I am not. I am not against it, if the people choose it, but I like my freedoms, I like making my own money and not having to ask. I like being breadwinner.
But, I Gotcha... though I'm "MORE " conservative, I think what I thank too... Compartmentalizing everything does make it all much easier, though, but it pisses everyone off, no? LOL! (I'm sorry dude, I'm too lazy... defiantly at 1pm in the uhm... "morning (?)" (hee hee) to sound quite as competent as I would like to!
I'd say my family is traditional, but I am not. My views are very different from theirs. And if I shared my opinions on certain things, they would be shocked and say I'm not normal. My definition of traditional is like yours.
Nice to see ya' around, dearheart! Sorry but "F" is way too far down the list, I can't keep track beyond "c", MAYBE "D" at best! And I don't think I'm too knuckleheaded, I gots me a head on top of theses shoulders! Traditional values are nice, IMHO, but you would be surprised at how many "women" are literally OFFENDED if, say I simply open the door for her n her side of the car for her set aside a "nice-car" that I have transport us! I do think that that is a bit excessive! What does an honest non-appesier such as yourself think about that or similar practices? Does that make me (or let's say "HIM") somehow bad? Even if it's not right, doesn't the thought matter (still) a bit ? I do get the suggestive undertones, but is that really important if you clearly respect someone overtly?
Whoa, that's a lotta pressure! Good thing I know you are very capable!
(deleted entire answer) Thanks, Mooks! I'm just stupid! I mean I'm smart, but just, you know... I am really not fishing for a reply. Just have a nice day! I honestly just feel better wishing you such. :)
@smell-my-fingers Don't worry. There are girls who value traditional men. Although I assume some who weren't exposed to that sort of treatment in their life early on may think the guy is "Trying to score" with her because he is being a gentleman. Which kind of ruins it for those who like that sort of gentleman
This is true, and it ends up as a lose-lose scenario, she is mad or offended and he has probably been a little humiliated. Human behavior can be baffling! But, chivalry is not dead, it is, however, an endangered species. And I can understand why; it's a pretty thankless job. I decided long ago that I wouldn't let anyone bother or deter me, rather I behave in such a way because I choose to. The unappreciative just fuel that particular fire.
When I go to my gfs house I'm not allowed to go to her room When she comes over here I have to keep my door open so what I usually do is fool around in private somewhere else lol.
I usually just wait till night time and take her car somewhere private 😉 But since she's conservative too I don't get any lol but oh well that beats having to deal with children lol
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