Why are people so hung up on looks?

Question

It just feels like people are so hung up on what a person looks like and if they are hot or not, and don't bother to care enough to look deeper and see what type of person they are. 

I see it on g@g a lot. "What is your ideal partner?" "Boobs or ass?" Etc etc

Yeah physical attraction is important, but isn't personality or intention important too?

Ssimon91 · Accepted Answer

I truly despise questions like these. No matter WHAT ANYONE says, looks are important and if you feel otherwise you're lying to yourself.

You have to be in some way sexually attracted to what you are looking at. First off. Personality does play a huge role afterwards as no one wants to date a boring person or a asshole.

I hate the word shallow, cause from what I seen , it's only used when someone gets rejected.

My last point here is, if everyone undermined looks, like they said they do, there be a lot less single people in the world. If looks don't matter and you're still single (especially as a girl) then you're lying imho lol

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I find that those who put too much emphasis on looks may just be looking for a hook up rather than relationship, or they're really shallow

Jxpxtxr · Accepted Answer

I think it's just because looks are what sparks your interest for a person first, so they are crucial to make you wanna get to know that person's personality etc. in the first place, so people like to put more emphasis on it in a superficial discussion.
And then those people that care 'only' about looks and looks exclusively have either never been with anyone before so they wouldn't understand the importance of a matching personality or are just incapable of establishing emotional connections in general.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

Because it's the most easily accessible way to determine your interest in a person.

Getting to know someone takes effort, and you can't necessarily identify which person will have an attractive personality, so we tend to approach based on looks. With that in mind, we obsess over our physical appearance because it essentially is the stamp of approval that catches people's interest, like an attractive cover to a book that inspires someone to read it.

paulina_g · Accepted Answer

Yeah, it's so annoying. And there's no middle ground. "Unattractive" people complain that no one will ever like them while "attractive" people can't seem to find someone who can look past their looks. It's frustrating... And yeah, I totally agree with you. If you're looking for a serious relationship looks are not everything. Physical attraction is important but that doesn't mean that you have to look like a supermodel...

popsickle · Accepted Answer

Looks are important, our sense of sight is powerful, but I agree... it's WAYYYYYYY over emphasized. All I can say is for those who can't shake off the shallow phase, I can't imagine them finding any real depth or happiness out of it. Just more insecurity and competition. What a life. Mother nature may help them, cause we will ALL age and our looks will fade. Then you either keep up or you yearn.

Hans222 · Answer

Unfortunately that's indeed how many people think: good boobs and a cute face make a good girl.
Oh my goodness, they can have her... I'll take the sweetheart with the smaller boobs and average face but that super nice smile and positive attitude :D
We'll see in 10 years who will still be together :D :o

Stoner710 · Answer

Where does have to be some level of physical attraction but yes we should look at the personality of our mate it's easy for a guy to say that chick has a nice ass but it's usually It usually from a distance. But personality does matter EXample I hate being controlled I found controlling women in the past and I hated it and we broke up. another theory on why America do this is because good looking people get better jobs there not going to hire example of nurses there is a lot more women in the medical field now then ever in history most nurses are cute you never see a ugly one. It's also how are society run we base our oppion on what's on the outside not inside which is mest up but hey what can you do that other then live your life they way you see fit and realize there good and bad stupid and inteagent people out there and enjoy thoughs who you have as friends/family now and in the future

Hopefuldreamer8 · Answer

Of course personality is important, but people have to be attracted to the person they date. So it's why so many people on here ask those questions. I'm not beautiful, and I've never been asked on a date, but I don't blame guys for that at all. I have plenty of guy friends (and girl friends) but I've never had a boyfriend.

yellowmamba024 · Answer

I know what you mean. People focus way too much on looks in the opposite gender. Hence you see why attractive people get away with obnoxious and selfish behaviors. That's why a lot of beautiful women act like brats and expect so much from their boyfriends. Very handsome men tend to treat women like crap. Or that they are not attentive to the women who like them.

Of course not all attractive people are like this, but more and more are now because they will still be rewarded with good looks.

shinyunicorn · Answer

of course personality is important. but appearance gives away first impression.
if I meet someone who is obese, has a long beard or poorly groomed hair, I will judge them.

it matters to me to have someone who looks good, as shallow as it sounds. of course I won't date anyone just because they're hot, but the whole "anyone who bases importance on looks is ignorant" thing sounds obscure to me.

Jaden69 · Answer

Yea personality is always a thing. Even a girl is cute or hot, if her personality doesn't really suit me, I won't pursue her. Looks is initial but there's a lot more after that too.

I've seen many people date resulting in failures, then they end up dating long time friends, and it works out great. Knowing someone so well and at a deeper level makes you ignore their flaws and looks.

cinderelli · Answer

Of course personality is important.. I've experienced both kinds of attraction and it didn't work if a guy lacked either looks or brains... got bored with pretty boys in a week and couldn't feel sexually attracted to someone who wasn't good looking.. so yeah it has to be both..

Rainie_ · Answer

Because that's how our brains are wired. Simple as that really.
I mean the fact that we are far more likely to help out someone we find physically attractive really says something about us as humans lol.

Anonymous · Answer

This is so true and I wish I realized this years ago and I wasn't so vain for so many years. Looks wise, all that matters is that you find them attractive enough. The only scale you should ever use is a binary scale, 1 or 0, yes or no. If it's a yes, the only thing that should matter after that is how compatible you are.

bryon · Answer

I must admit you are the minority on your view of this as far as your age range. It is refreshing to see a more broad minded person at 17 . Your correct looks seem to trump a good personallity with the younger generation, both males and females alike. Hey pretty and handsome both fade away and all that's left s the personallity, so why waste time waiting on pretty to be gone and leave you with what's left. I have always been about the personallity from the start , if it's attached to a pretty face that's all fine and well ; if not it doesn't change the fact I'll still be with that person.

cavmanier · Answer

I think girls asking "boobs or butt" questions, mainly want to know if guys are attracted to the features they (the girls) think are attractive. When asking about their ideal partner, I think they want to have an idea if many would be interested in them, and if not they want to understand if there's something they could change to be more appealing.

Lots of us do care tremendously about what our mate is like in a deeper way. Of course a lot of people, especially young people, are more concerned with looks because they're really more interested in if they're attracted to the person for sex. Most of us have that biological drive that I'm pretty sure you're aware of.

Oram52 · Answer

Nature. We need to be drawn first to someone, there has to be some passion. Once you have passion then you click. Of course personality is important, but there is nothing to bind you together physically without some attraction.

kittykatbrat · Answer

Beauty is subjective and looks DO matter.

*Physical appearance is a human beings first immediate point of reference
*Physical appearance sparks or repels attraction and interest.
*Physical appearance determines friend or foe, approach or retreat

DiogoRibeiro · Answer

Looks don't last.

So yeah, physical attraction and finding your partner attractive is important, but can't be the only thing in a relationship.

I guess people who always care about looks aren't looking for a serious relationship. ;)

Mustachekitteh · Answer

Yes, you can't have just physical quality in a partner alone. You also need them to have a personality that you get along with, it's best to look for both.

chintita · Answer

as opposed to what? "how's my personality?" then all the replies r "hnng can u message me? tht personality doe"

Nomad69 · Answer

Personality and intention are ultimately more important. Looks kind of determines if you want to have sex and be physical with them though, otherwise if they are great 2/3 other than looks usually they will be just a friend.

Dog19 · Answer

No way man, I grew up with people telling me you're looks are more important then your grades, education and if you don't look ideal then people won't like you at all. It's worst with fat people. Folks are really mean about that..

Anonymous · Answer

I agree. I think a combo is important. A really hot girl is a girl who is pretty and also damn nice.

That's the best girl. Trouble is you end up being well nervous round her and then she may not see you sexually? What do u think? If a guy is sweet (sends sweet msgs etc) and driven, passionate, uplifts you and is also pretty good looking, would you be sexy/fun around him or just innocent?

Pls opine on this if you can, would appreciate it: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27854-woman-hears-the-exact-same-thing-from-two-guys-but-she-reacts

sixnineanon · Answer

Yes ma'am, personality and intention is more important to me personally. I wouldn't overlook those in any relationship.

Why are people so hung up on looks?

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