Grinding in clubs and parties? please read and give opinions?

Question

I'm just curious on why girls like to grind and how do you know if they really don't want to and stuff like that so I would appreciate if some girls just fill in the blanks for me and feel free to elaborate on things you don't like about it or things that you wished more guys did

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Good to see there're imho some "good" people on this page. Not meaning to sound like I'm judging. Personally though, I just feel "Grinding" is nothing more than "dry humping" - ACTING OUT SEX, WHILE WEARING YOUR CLOTHES...This is fine in your own home imo. But IN PUBLIC?...I find it to be absolutely, totally and utterly DISGUSTING! YUCK! :oP

My ex was from Uruguay, and I'm English. She couldn't seem to get it into her head that it A) It isn't "dancing" and B) Was bad manners to do this in public in my country.

Anyway, I don't think she was actually that nice a person tbh. She was older than me, an ex model...and tbh an unbelievably insecure person. Sex, to her, was about power. And feeling sexually desirable was the only way she knew how to feel important, or boost her confidence. Nothing wrong with um, talking to people and being friendly with them to boost your self esteem. Works much better too! Lol, anyway, I digress!...

...My point about it being a disgusting thing to do in public goes deeper...As some have already touch upon, guys can be just USED for attention with this "dance"...This gives girls a BAD NAME, where guys are concerned. I believe it's the opposite of FEMALE EMPOWERMENT. And doing such a thing as this in public robs women of respect from men. It isn't just the women Grinding, sadly, who get judged as "whores/easy/insecure" etc by most men, it's all women. I'm not agreeing that's how it should be - BUT THAT's HOW IT IS. Trust me! And that really bothers me, cause I love women! It's only a "bit of harmless fun" at a house party perhaps, amongst close friends, or between lovers at home where you're free from judging eyes imho.

And I think it's JUST AS BAD if the actions of Grinding are being performed in public without a male partner...or without a partner at all. It's just gross to look at. And it makes the woman in question seem DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION, weak, and unattractive. I think this is really sad. Please try to consider this ladies: It isn't just women who want to see strength of character in a man. It cuts both ways. Men want to see that in a woman. It makes you "hotter" to them. It's true! You may think you look hot busting those movements in a bar, but you'll seem 100 times hotter still if you prove you don't need to do that. If you want a man to truly desire you, showing you aren't in desperate need of an ego boost by doing lewd things in public is the best way to go! You'll have a better time when you actually get to the bedroom too ;) Back to a more personal note, when I wanna go dancing, I wanna go dancing...I don't want my stomach turning lol!

itzs4m · Accepted Answer

best way to get girls to dance with you is to go to clubs with girls. cause you can be dancing with a friend and another girl may notice you and your status will go up... don't be the guy to walk around look at girls get a drink then stand there scanning the room. make eye contact with a girl if she holds it she's interested, walk up to her not directly but from the side or the back. ask her confidently "you wanna dance?" she says yes you're good to go, if she says no then whatever its not like she's the only girl there.

DIPEPDINGOLD · Accepted Answer

OMG...I'm so glad you brought this up! I actually HATE the grinding! I tried it with my gay friend, and at prom and It feels weird to me for some reason. This guy pulled me and I was dancing and I REALLY didn't know wtf I was doing ...just moving my ass and the guy was skinny and just boring. I mean basically the girl is doing all the work and the guy is just getting hard and might bust one. And with that doing it with someone you don't even know...with a stranger! Yes. I mean stranger because where I'm from sometimes a girl maybe "booty bouncing" and a guy just comes out of nowhere and grabs her or gets behind her and start grinding...yuck.

Where I'm from girls and guys do MORE than grind sometimes. Sometimes a guy may pull down his pants and be only in his boxers as the girl grinds on him. OR a guy may even try to put his hands in the girls panties. SOMETIMES...Girls lay on the floor and allow the guys to dry hump them while a crowd gathers around them...Kinky? I just don't get it...its way too much for me. The main point of grinding is to get a guys d*** hard and where I'm from sometimes a guy...might bust one. Same goes for the girl... Nasty. lol...

Call me old fashioned...but I miss ...real dancing...not dry humping...but if so I guess the most comfortable thing is a guys hand on my waist or holding my hands not roaming...he would get knocked out doing that. lol

Fayeree545 · Accepted Answer

Dancing is a form of release for me, and honestly it's better than sex.

The music loosens me up and when a guy dances with me (and actually dances, not just bobs up and down) I begin grinding. Grinding is just another part of dancing that I need a partner to do it with, but I'm just as happy to dance by myself. While dancing with a guy is fun and exciting, I'm not really considering the implications of why he wants to dance with me, beyond the actual dance.

If he starts to get handsy, I'll hold his hands for a bit then let go, hoping he gets the hint. If he doesn't, I'll put his hands on my waist and then if he ignores that, I walk away.

As for where I put my hands, usually it's because I need something to help me balance, or because it feels like the right thing to do at that moment in time. If I'm putting my face really close to you, it doesn't mean anything. I usually kiss a guy's cheek when I'm ready to stop as a thank you.

The only time I expect a guy to get intimate with me on the dance floor is if I ever kiss him first. Otherwise, I'd either walk away or smack them, and then walk away.

-StillWater- · Accepted Answer

For me...dancing is something I LOVE to do. When I dance, time just goes by so fast, and I get lost in the moment. But, if I'm dancing with a guy it would be pretty clear weather I mean for it to stay just a dance, or weather I would like us to hug, kiss, exchange numbers...

For example If I've never seen a guy I'm dancing with in my life, I would probably start with a happy, carefree approach, and dance to an upbeat song, jump and goof around. But, when a slow song comes, if I still want to dance with that guy, it means I wouldn't mind getting to know him better.

After a couple of songs, with a few breaks perhaps, grinding will only happen with a guy I'm interested in - physically, emotionally, or both.

I speak for myself here, but if I move my face closer to yours, if our cheeks start to touch, I expect you to do something...other than hyperventilate! xD Haha

I know that when ever I danced with any of my boyfriends before, it was an intimate moment, just like making love, only it is socially acceptable to see a couple dancing in public... =)

Hope I was able to help

wildfire5288 · Answer

I generally prefer a guys hands on my waist and if I'm drunk and I think you're hot I might let you move them around front but I'll stop you if you get too high or too low.  Generally when I'm dancing it's at clubs or parties with my friends and I won't dance with a guy for more than a song or two.  But there is such a thing as being too touchy feely and when guys hold me too tight I don't like it because I feel like I'm trapped.  I also was dancing at a club with this guy one time and he was pretty much ramming himself against my ass like he would if he were f*cking me from behind...that was just weird.

swimchick54 · Answer

Ok, well I LOVE grinding. I love dancing too and well when you are at a party or the bar/club scene grinding is fantastic, I like when a guy shows up behind me and takes charge, I would always start with waist and she will help you out if she wants more. if she is putting her face close to yours I would say that is an invitation to kiss and you will know how it goes from there. If I am grinding with a guy then he passes my kiss test then I will make the decision if I'm leaving with him or not. I think that you really have to read the partner. I mean I know that I'm a really intense grinding partner and I get really touchy some girls like it and others don't you will just have to read the girl a little. I think that the ramming thing should be saved for the bedroom not the dancefloor it just looks hilarious doesn't feel as good.

shes-a-lady · Answer

well..WHY? isn't it obvious? lol

nah seriously...if I do it its either because I'm really really really drunk and he's hot. or I'm playing some game with my friends (that is if he's a jerk).

i never initiate anything, so its always him putting my hands on his shoulders first and then he puts his on my waist. (kinda funny, 99% of the guys I met at clubs did exactly this!)

hope this helps =)

enlightenment · Answer

ok...the update, total kiss situation!  But grinding can just depend on the girl.  It usually means she wants some from you.  But she could be putting on a show and you could be the prop.  Its really going to be different in differnet situations.  But generally, I would say she wants it.

minniebear · Answer

lol.your cute wow. you don't hear that alot. well most girl do it so guys would look at them.also you can tell just by moving a little closer each song maybe if she tell you to back off then just do it .oh for the hands on your hand thing maybe she trying to tell you that she likes you. don't go right in for the kiss try to dance with her for a couple of song if she move closer to your lips go for it .:) :)

soccerrun1 · Answer

I always make eye contact with a girl once I'm next to her and then she initiates. Instead of picking on out and walking up to her awkwardly I usually walk into the mass and just find one by luck

sweet18 · Answer

I have grinded a lot before and I've come to the conclusion that I just feel dirty doing it.

Anonymous · Answer

I dance for me because it's fun. If I'm dancing with my girlfriends, don't come up to me and cut in, acting like you know me. It's annoying and rude.  If you want to dance, then ask me, don't cut in

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