How to tell if he's just being friendly or likes me more than just a friend?

There is a guy I just recently met he is outgoing and the flirty type. So he is not shy around women. I am the opposite I am shy and not the flirty type. We talked when we first met never really thought nothing more than just talked like friends do. Then his behavior changed around me he no longer would talk to me especially around his friends he would only talk to me when were alone. I have tried to get him to open up with his friends around to approach me and talk like I do but this guy will not. He acts shy towards me when there is a lot of people around but if we are alone he can flirt with me. Which I do not understand because I see him talking with girls for some reason he seems to be intimidated by me or just too scared to approach me in front of his friends. He acts and treats me different than he does with the other girls. I catch him looking at me sometimes he is really nervous if I look directly into his eyes. This guy has also on a number of times look deep into my eyes and hold his gaze longer. He has given me winks and smile with his face lit up number times. Sometimes he will smile and give me a nod and not say a word to me. He likes being close to me by being into my personal space. He really likes brushing up against me done this a lot. If he sees me talking to other guys he seems to be jealous acts nervous and stares at me. I tested him to see what his reaction would be if I wear a low cut top not too revealing and he stares more when I wear something low cut. I just do not get it why would a outgoing guy who is the flirty type be afraid of me who is shy not the flirty type? Which I have flirted with him and he seems to like very much. I am just not as aggressive as an outgoing girl. Since I know he can talk to girls not afraid of them but his behavior around the other girls is more jokily. Is he just being friendly and wants to be my friend like he is with the other girls or does he want to be more than just friends? I do not know what he wants maybe he is just as scared as me really is the shy type and just acts like a ladies man in front of his friends.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He is shy around you because he has a huge crush. That is so obvious! How many more signs do you need?

    Being in love makes a difference. Carefree flirting is easy and safe - nothing will actually happen. When you are in love the stakes are raised, you are vulnerable, have something to lose.

    Don't test him. It makes you feel bad anyway - because you know you shouldn't and the results are never what you expect - and you confuse him with that behaviour. If you like him, just be nice to him. Ease up. Talk to him. Give him the opportunity to come to you, lead him the way.

    He is more at ease when he's alone with you because that is what he wants to do. And when you are alone with the girl you like you have more control over the situation which makes you feel more comfortable. In a group of people there's so much happening and people interacting also with you and he might fear that others notice his interest in you and make a fool of him or he might fear of being rejected publicly. It's normal.

    Especially if you are the shy type, he'll kow or feel or think that you have to be addressed in another way than all in the open. I wouldn't flirt publicly with a shy girl in a group, I would presume she would not like that at all. I'd try to get her attention, and if I felt secure enough, I'd try to do what your guy is doing: make her feel safe. Really, would you like to be flirted at publicly? Also shy types do usually not give much response to what you are doing, because, well, they are shy and act shy. That can make you feel very insecure when you approach a shy girl, because you get not that much feedback. It can be plain scary and it takes a lot of self confidence or guts.

    Hope this helps.


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What Guys Said 6

  • Indent please.


    Ok so you said, "he stares more when I wear something low cut". Well yeah, guys do that. Did you notice that ALL of the other guys around of all ages looked at you more? This is not a valid test.

    Think of it this way, if you give a dog a bone he wags his tail. It doesn't mean he is into YOU because you gave him the bone, it just means he is into BONES.

    Honestly, sounds like he is embarrassed to be with you or associated with you or something, but in private, he figures maybe this is his only chance or his best chance or quickest chance at something. See what I mean?

  • A lot of guys tend to be more comfortable around girls they have no interest in and many guys tend to be shy around girls that they have a crush on. You know someone a lot better when there's no attractions because that person isn't afraid of exposing their flaws. On the other hand, he is trying so hard to impress you that he fears doing something that may turn you off. Sometimes we try so hard to impress someone that we forget to be ourselves. He needs to leg go and breathe.

  • look its obvious from the beginning he really likes you, its just that his friends probably make fun of you or make fun of him for being with each other.if you like him you should say it to him upfront and maybe that'll give him the courage to actually talk and flirt with you in public.i can see he is a shy guy when it comes to relationships just like me and I'm actually in the same situation as him right now I like the girl but my friends keep making fun of me and her.

    • What do you mean by that when guys make fun of a girl?

    • So did you ever make a move on the girl? I am in this situation right now with a guy I like but he won't make a move! What will it take for him to ask me out?

  • Um...he likes you?

    Yes, you matter to him.

    "This guy has also on a number of times look deep into my eyes and hold his gaze longer." This is the best indicator of interest. Do you return the gaze?

    Jealousy is a bad sign. It's possessiveness, and can turn on the relationship.

    But be careful, very careful. He may be a player.


  • There you go you answered it yourself. He who acts confident sometimes is really insecure on the inside but I don't think this is the case. You're thinking about him so you like him. He just needs to realise that he has to take you. Believe me I am like this guy he feels nearvous because he is truly attracted to you, you need to help him out a bit. touch his hand or tickle him at times. make him feel comfortable around you. He will think you are the greatest.

  • please indent...I think you gotta both put somehting out there... The sound of you testing him doesn't sound good and they way you make it seem he is hinting, staring, and nudging seems.

    If you think you guys have a connection then there might be something there, don't jump to conclusions, and take it easy. Don't worry about it.

    The only way I can think of relating is that when I'm in a large class room full of a lot of people I become shy and don't raise my hand when I need help, but when I'm in a small class I tend to be way more outgoing around others.


What Girls Said 3

  • oh my freaking god! are you BLIND, girl? HE LIKES YOU! A LOT! this is so so obvious and so so cute! Just come right out and ask him if he likes you...he'll likely say yes..first decided if you like him back and THEN ask him. Aww I'm so happy for you! Also you might want to ask a friend of yours or a friend of his if they notice any telltale behavior. Good Luck!

  • sounds like he really likes you but if he won't talk to you infront of his friends he may have a girlfriend. or he may just not flirt with girls when he's with his friends haha my boyfriend like that he's all flirty when its just us but when its us and the guys I'm just one of the guys. id make sure he doesn't have a girlfriend and then just go for it. but if he does it now when yall start dating it probably will be the same as with the whole friend thing.

  • maybe he does just want to be friends...but with benifits ya know...are you an attractive girl? I'm asking because maybe he does like you but does not want to be seen with you around his friends ect... and wants to keep your relationship behind closed doors...