Do you think it's right for Starbucks to ban a 37 yr old man for asking out a 16 yr old girl?

[Buldarman]

A man is accusing Starbucks of age discrimination after he says the coffee chain banned him from a store in Washington state after he asked one of its teen baristas on a date.

The 37-year-old man, who will not identify himself because he hasn't been charged with a crime, told CBS News that he was at Starbucks on Main Street in Downtown Spokane and wrote a note asking a 16-year-old barista out for dinner.

'I was flirted with by a barista. For some reason she thought I was funny. Said I was funny. So I gave her a note to see if she'd be interested in dinner', the man wrote in a public Facebook post that has since gone viral.

He said he returned to the Starbucks the following day and a Spokane police officer told him he was banned from the location.

Spokane police said businesses are allowed to refuse service to anyone who is causing trouble or being disruptive for as long as they see fit.

So, Starbucks was legally allowed to ban the man from that location. But he says he's being discriminated against because of his age.

'I know the female Starbucks barista was of legal age to date. I broke no laws. I merely took a chance with my heart. I'm tired of hearing the word "creep" as any black person or gay person is tired of hearing certain words. I have a whole webpage dedicated to age gap love', the man wrote.

He asked people on Facebook to contact Starbucks and complain, but his call-to-action was met with some opposition.

People commented on the Spokane Starbucks' Facebook page, mostly praising the business for banning the man from the location.

A Starbucks spokesperson said the company supports how the business handled this situation.

'We have no tolerance for any such inappropriate behavior or harassment, and we will continue to support our store partners and local authorities investigating the situation'.

Yes

No

[BeeNee]

Apparently the age of consent for sexual activity there is 16, so yes, legally the man has done no wrong, however, do we know if the barista was actually flirting with him? All we have is his account from his POV, not the baristas. According to him, she said he was funny, not I think you're attractive what's your number do you want to go out with me. Vast difference. Being nice is part of a baristas job and if someone is funny, they may say so if it's true, but not want to sleep with you.

Clearly the employee did not want any contact from this man, so it couldn't have been a mutual thing she wanted to see continue to happen beyond the note, so if she complained to her employer, which I can only guess that she did, the company has every right to do what they did to protect themselves from any lawsuits from an employee for failing to protect them in a reasonable manner from percieved harassment, but their employees.

[SLT93]

Starbucks as a business has a right to protect their staff and if they feel that this gentleman is causing alarm, harassment or distress to one of their staff members then they are well in their rights to say/do something.

Most of these discussions always go on about the age of legality but this has nothing to do with consent (sexual activity as per law (UK)). This is very much about social acceptance.

It is OK in today's society for an adult to approach a minor (under 18) and ask her for dinner?

[vishna]

This dude was old af to be asking a 16 year old high school student out to dinner, 3 years ago she was 13, he was 34, what do they have in common.. he needs to stop creeping on teens and try for women his own age then maybe he'll have better luck.

[Anonymous]

Meanwhile a 56 yr old woman is having sex with 20 year old men (30+ age differences) on tinder and is praised by society as a trophy for showing women are still desirable at any age.

i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...g_t-m-1_1458138224372.jpg

www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...eel-sexy-empowered.html

Listen up men this is the matriach where women are allowed to date men at any range and men are restricted to dating only women around your age.

images.gr-assets.com/.../18696919.gif

[Opinion Owner]

"Gaynor meets the men aged between 25 and 35 on wild nights out, through dating app Tinder and dating website toyboywarehouse. com."

[Cosytoasty]

Lmao this dude must be on GaG.

How a 37 year old can be attracted to ANY 16 year old... who's not even dressed provocatively (for work) is beyond me.

[Cosytoasty]

https://i.imgur.com/TZs7Cg4.jpg

The note... the pic... yeah he's definitely here. WHERE ARE YOU ANON 35-39

[itsallover]

😂😂😂

[Cosytoasty]

@itsallover
pics.onsizzle.com/...-women-are-greedy-1699510.png

😂😂😂 seem familiar?

[itsallover]

The déja vu is strong 🤔

[BuchitaBuchys]

Lmao this! This guy has to be on here, he shows all the signs of a typical blue anon, or even blue gagger:
-In his 30s
-Attracted to teens or preteens
-Hates women
-Disrespects women because he can't get any
-Hasnt had sex in the longest...

[OlderAndWiser]

This is the epitome of SJW work. What did Starbucks protect this girl from? He asked her for a date. Admittedly, that is probably inappropriate but he didn't threaten her, stalk her, call her names, etc. If she said "no," it sounds like that would be the end of it. So what is the harm that was averted?

If an 18 year old had asked her out and she said no, would they ban the 18 year old?

Is the gravity of this situation the offense that she felt at having an older man ask her out? Suppose the person asking her out was a female expressing a lesbian interest and that offended the employee. Would Starbucks ban the lesbian?

[beccaboo2]

Here is the note he gave her https://m.imgur.com/TZs7Cg4

[OlderAndWiser]

@beccaboo2 If this is, in fact, the note he gave her, yes it certainly crossed the line and he should have been banned. However, I could not find any news about the content of the note anywhere else on the internet. I did also see reports that Lucas Werner is homeless and has bipolar disorder; that does not excuse his behavior but it certainly sheds some light on the motivations of him and Starbucks.

[madhatters4]

he's more than 60 months older than her which in Washington means that any sexual relationship between the two would be statutory rape. additionally it's not age discrimination to want to provide a work environment that is safe and secure for both employees and customers

i think it's a bit of an over step to ban the guy but i don't think it's necessarily wrong

[Buldarman]

Age of consent in Washington is 16.

[Buldarman]

"In Washington State, the age of consent for sex is 16 years old. At this age, a person can consent to sex with any adult, regardless of the age difference between them. Washington's age of consent laws apply to both heterosexual and homosexual conduct"

[madhatters4]

that's part of the law but there is also

"Washington statutory rape law is violated when a person has consensual sexual intercourse with an individual under age 16. The age of consent is raised to 18 when the partners are a foster parent and foster child or when the older partner is at least 60 months older than their 16 or 17 year old partner and abuses their significant relationship"

[Buldarman]

Key points to look at.

-Statutory rape if you have sex with someone under 16 as per what i stated

-Age of consent is ONLY raised to 18 under the following condition:
1. If the sexual relationship is between a foster parent and child (which is not the case)
2. If the partner is at least 60 months older than 16 or 17 yr old AND abuse their significant relationship (No abuse was stated. He just asked her out).

[madhatters4]

abuse the relationship. not physically abuse the person. so a person of 16or17 can consent to sex but the state law for statutory rape is in violation if the person is 60 months or older than the partner... so they could date but if they have sex that is the "abuse" of the relationship the law refers to

[Buldarman]

I just googled it and the abuse they are talking about is in reference to the definition in RCW 9A.44.010 which defines abuse as:

(9) "Abuse of a supervisory position" means:
(a) To use a direct or indirect threat or promise to exercise authority to the detriment or benefit of a minor; or
(b) To exploit a significant relationship in order to obtain the consent of a minor.

Basically people who hold high authority over said minor and abuses said authority to get the minor to sleep with them.

Example - A teacher who threatens to fail a student if they don't suck their cock.

[madhatters4]

the punctuation makes it hard for probably us layman to fully understand and i am by know means a lawyer or judge but the law reads as
"Washington statutory rape law is violated when a person has consensual sexual intercourse with an individual under age 16. The age of consent is raised to 18 when the partners are a foster parent and foster child, when the older partner is at least 60 months older than their 16 or 17 year old partner and abuses their significant relationship (as defined by RCW 9A.44.010) to have sexual intercourse, or when the partners are teacher and student (this law was actually interpreted by the Washington State Supreme Court to extend to students up to 21 years old). "

so when i see an OR before teacher and student i see that as a separate part of the law, not included in the prior statements. (for example. I love going to the beach, mountains, OR just sitting at home)

[madhatters4]

but regardless i still am ok with them banning. it would be acceptable if they had just asked him not to come or banned him for a period of time but the safety, well being and sense of security of employees and customers is number one

[CrazyRay43]

OP has no idea what he’s talking about 🤦‍♂️

[MzAsh]

He has a website about age gap love? I’m thinking he’s got some fetish for teenagers. He doesn’t like her. Her likes that she’s 16. So maybe he’s the one with age discrimination.

[SinghSong]

Do I think it's right for Starbucks to ban ANY 37yo man for asking out a 16yo girl, in a state where that's above the legal age of consent? No, I don't. But do I think they were right to ban THIS 37yo guy from THAT branch of Starbucks, for asking the 16yo girl out in the manner that they did? After reading that note, absolutely. And the guy's own quote- "I know the female Starbucks barista was of legal age to date. I broke no laws. I merely took a chance with my heart. I'm tired of hearing the word 'creep' as any black person or gay person is tired of hearing certain words. I have a whole webpage dedicated to age gap love!" That's ringing a whole host of alarm bells.

[AleDeEurope]

I think they took it too far. Yes, a 37 y/o man asking out a 16 y/o girl is creepy, but was he rude to her? Did he harass her? It seems he just gave her a note asking her out and then left. They could have simply told him no, and to not do that again, instead of immediately banning him. If he did it again, then ban him.
The age of consent over there is 16, so he technically did nothing wrong, and from the details given, he didn't see to break any rule from the establishment.

It's a tricky situation, and I do believe the fact that he's 37 asking out a 16 y/o has a lot to do with Starbucks decision.

[AleDeEurope]

After reading the note he gave her (posted by another user), he definitely was kinda creepy xD

[samhradh_leannan]

I think what they did was perfectly fine. A 37 year old asking out a 16 year old is highly inappropriate. The fact that it happened in her workplace only makes it seem even more predatory. Personally I'm glad they banned him.

[martyfellow]

The guy had no business asking a 16 year old out, and he was taking advantage of her having to stay there; she couldn't leave and had to be polite to a customer.

He should be publicly shamed; they should put up a picture of him there so his friends would all know if they come in to the Starbucks.

[Waffles731]

a 37 year old creep is banned from the store and people are complaining

[Goldie757]

Yes.

He made a member of staff feel uncomfortable, that is justifiable enough to refuse service. You also have to consider that Starbucks is very popular among teenage girls, it's liability having him as a costumer.

[Maik567]

Yes it was the right thing to do, I don't know how anyone could defend a 37 year old going for a 16 year old, that's just completely fucked up.

[helloitsmethere]

YES wtf it's creepy and weird..
Why do some of these old ass men think that it's okay to ask out girls my age?
It's NOT okay. We find that REALLY repulsive...

[Anonymous]

Title is misleading it is "A Starbucks", It was just the one location, not the chain so I don't see the issue at all. Why would he want to go there again everyone who works there would know who he was and the girl can't be expected to continue to serve him, she'd probably have to get the manager to do it... would that be better for him? if I was the girls parents I'd be relieved esp. since he thought his behavior was a-okay.

[beccaboo2]

Starbucks did the right thing that guy was a creep. Here is the note he gave her
https://m.imgur.com/TZs7Cg4

[TacosRAwesome]

I thought it was more along the lines of "you're cute. Let's get dinner sometimes? And his no." That is creepy.

[beccaboo2]

@TacosRAwesome not too mention he also is very vocal online about age gap relationships between teen girls and older men. Gross

[SwolDishWasher]

Okay that is creepy.

[SwolDishWasher]

But i can't help feel bad for the guy cause maybe he's just lonely and a romantic? As far as i see it, he's commited no crime.

[Vindicated]

I was going to say that they could have just speak to him and warn him beforehand. But then i read the note that he wrote to her. And yes it is creepy. I agree with what they did. Which was caring about the costumers safety. She is young and naive.

[goaded]

Here's a picture of the kind of "nice note" he passes.

freethoughtblogs.com/.../wernernote.jpg

[rubyrose83]

They did what was best for their employee. If she'd been another patron, it would've been different, still creepy but different

[bedroomdweller]

So if the man was a twenty something year old? Or an 18 year old? Would they do the same?

I guess they can do it based on their policies, but I think this is extreme. It is age discrimination and would be offensive for an old man. If customers regardless of age would be banned for flirting with the employees ok, it's their policy. If he was banned just because he was 60 years old, that's fucked up. Based on the state of the business she's even legal so it isn't a crime either.

[Dali-chan]

Offensive? Oh because it’s not offensive against a teenage girl to be accosted by an old ugly fart? Girls these age don’t have the confidence to stand up for themselves that’s one of the major reasons why these creeps hit on them.

I’m 21 and nothing disgust me more than a 35 years old guy who hit on me, and who feel entitled to younger girls.

I wouldn’t ban the guy if he was maximum 18 years old but 37? I swear that if could I’ll sent him in jail.

Stop acting like society is against men just because you can’t rape teenagers and children as easily as before

[CyberToothTiger]

I think the guy came off as bit creepy , his intentions may not been bad
but Starbucks has right to refuse or ban people who deem to be a risk
taker by asking out their employees. Why didn't the guy at least look
for a woman age 21 or older yes he was wrong in many ways.

[chrisbigman]

The fact that she was of legal age means that he wasn't looking for a child - despite the fact that she would be in other parts of the country. I personally wouldn't have asked her out. I'd prefer to ask someone who's within 10 years AT LEAST of my age, if not less. More than 10 years to me is just too much.

[cinderelli]

this was creepy.. and I think it's fine what they did... their business.. their rules..

[girlsshouldtryanal]

its legal and they dont have rights to do that!

[cinderelli]

@girlsshouldtryanal umm.. I think they do have a right to refuse service to whoever they want

[cinderelli]

@girlsshouldtryanal and it is creepy.. asking a 16 yo girl? she's basically a kid..

[girlsshouldtryanal]

it's public place! they dont have rights to do that?
she is 16 and its lagal age for dating!

[cinderelli]

@girlsshouldtryanal it's a private business.. they CAN do that.. and she's 16.. he's 37! old enough to be her father.. 16 yo girl is a kid.. grow some brains..

[girlsshouldtryanal]

they can do that? what else they can do? beat people there cause its private?
16 is legal age for dating, doesn't matter how old he is, even if he is 136 they are both legal to date! you need to learn laws.

[cinderelli]

@girlsshouldtryanal and you need to read a book.. they can refuse service to whoever the eff they want

[Goldie757]

@girlsshouldtryanal any business in the USA has the right to refuse service for any reason expect for reasons that are deemed discriminatory.

[cinderelli]

@Goldie757 exactly.. plus a 37 yo asking a 16 yo out is just creepy in itself -__-