Would you spank your children as discipline?

[macix670]

I personally wouldn't because I don't believe hitting is an effective punishment

Yes

No

Other

[ak666]

There's a form of disciplinary action that I consider far superior that I received when I was a child (even though I did get spankings from my mother). It avoided the violent aspect completely.

My private school in Shizuoka applied it when I got in trouble wrestling with other kids and accidentally injured one of them.

Basically I had to stand outside of recess each day with small buckets of water in my hands with my arms outstretched. They were small buckets since I was only 4-years old (even an adult would struggle with full-sized buckets, but they were damned heavy even though they were smaller given my age).

I had to do it for the entire recess. If my arms faltered and/or I spilled any water, I would have to sit out and do it again the next day, and the next day, and so forth until I succeeded.

It took me multiple tries and my shoulders were screaming with pain but it made me stronger and it also taught me not to get into trouble again. When I succeeded my teacher gently patted me on the back and let me join back in with the other kids. It made me feel strong and proud to overcome the suffering and bear the pain but also didn't require any physical violence.

I want to mainly apply that kind of disciplinary action if I have kids.

[ak666]

That schooled applied a somewhat militaristic approach. Every day when we attended, we had to start out doing work outs -- push-ups, jumping jacks, flexibility exercises, etc. I remember my teachers pushing me down when I was doing push-ups in order to make them much more difficult. Then we'd follow with studying how to read and write, calligraphy, etc. (my memory is a bit hazy of the subjects we studied, but I remember the physical training and discipline). It was so much stricter than the schools I went to in the U. S. later, and the kids were generally far better behaved.

[TuMeManques]

We did that with books with our kids. It was way worse to them than spanking.

[ak666]

@TuMeManques Oh really? I thought it was the best kind of disciplinary action I ever received since it wasn't violent but grueling. It might have been bundled into the whole kind of militaristic training we received in that school though -- like the whole package instead of just the disciplinary action alone.

[ak666]

@TuMeManques I'm somewhat unusual in that I'm half-Japanese and started off living in Japan. Then my parents divorced and I went with my American mother to the U. S. and saw this massive difference in the whole approach to discipline. It went from that kind of very strict disciplinary action with a somewhat militaristic mindset to like, "You're grounded. Go to your room." I found myself slowly kind of unraveling and becoming less disciplined in the process, somewhat turning more into a rebel in the U. S. (that might have just been the result of getting older, not 100% sure).

[TuMeManques]

Oh no, I'm saying it's very effective. My kids hated it more than any form of punishment. And my husband is korean, so yes it's a very Asian method.

[ak666]

@TuMeManques Oh I see! By "worse" I thought you meant it had a very negative effect on your childrens' behavior or psychological well-being.

[TuMeManques]

Oh no, not at all!

[ak666]

@TuMeManques Oh phew! I was afraid some people with a Western mindset might consider what I suggested as a form of child abuse. I really didn't feel like it messed with my psychological well-being at all -- if anything, I think it might have helped me there. My mother tried spanking and that made me feel strange and get these complex emotions that might have screwed with my mind more -- especially since she was quite short and I sprouted to be taller than her already by the age of 8 or so where she was still trying to spank me.

[ak666]

@TuMeManques I started at some point to interpret it like I'm just letting her spank me to let her unleash her anger. It didn't have the same kind of perception of a disciplinary action as the method applied in my school.

[TuMeManques]

That's a funny mental picture. I don't really agree with current western parenting styles. It's giving us some of the most entitled and worst behaved children tbh.

[ak666]

@TuMeManques I often feel that way. It's a bit too gentle in my opinion, and I'm not sure it's good to go with messages like, "Everyone is a winner." I think in trying too hard to protect children, they make them incapable of coping with the harsher realities of the world.

[TuMeManques]

And they're teaching them that they are NEVER wrong. Whatever choice they make, no matter how it affects others.

[ak666]

@TuMeManques That sounds like a way to create tyrants. That sounds even worse than when I was in the U. S. They're starting to sadly apply that approach here in Japan as well. They're now handing out first-place ribbons to everyone who participates in a race, for example.

[macix670]

I agree with this discipline.

[Dim1213]

O yes it is when they are younger it is such a great way to discipline them. When they get to middle school taking away their phone and internet is a better punishment. However even into high school my parents threatening to take me outside and spank me still made me behave instantly.

It is really easy to tell which kids get spanked and which kids get yelled at. Also it is a pain to deal with a kid whose parents tell him to fight the system and to do what he wants. Those parents never say no to their kid so the kid won't take no from anyone. Even when they walk into the street and a car is coming.

[Prettygurl12]

Yes I would.

I was spanked. It worked well.

Parents explained the rules to me and told me if I disobeyed I'd be spanked. I disobeyed. Parents reminded me of the rules and explained if I disobeyed I'd be spanked. I disobeyed again. I was spanked. Parents explained how we arrived at the spanking and how I had been warned and given a second chance and still disobeyed.

I can count on one hand the number of times I was spanked. It was a wonderful deterrent for me. I also think their method worked well. The whole instruction first, second, and last. With my personality it worked very well.

They also didn't spank until I was old enough to understand reason. But not old enough to really think about my actions lmao. Like, I was old enough to understand them telling me not to do something and I was old enough to follow their explanation after the fact as to why I was spanked, but I wasn't old enough to argue back to them. That age between like 3 and 7. And I figure 5 spankings in 4 years... I was a pretty well behaved kiddo.

Of course, I was also the kid who put herself in time out because she accidentally spilled a bottle of nail polish on a towel lmao so I was a very easy child in terms of disobedience.

[Rcjh1987]

It would depend on the offense at hand.. I have spanked my son before its basically only when its something that could harm himself or others... that being said something I have found that seems to be way more effective is having him tell grandpa why he got in trouble ( he spends a lot of time with grandpa) he doesn't like disappointing grandpa.. ( he got in trouble at school yesterday so its still fresh) I didn't think what happened warranted a spanking especially when he said the teachers were on other side of the black top. and he was in the playground area there were other holes in the story as well.. His punishment was after dinner it was homework, bath and straight to bed.. tonight its no minecraft and that is his punishment.. I told him that whether or not your playing a game with other kids someone having to go to hospital to get stiches, their parents aren't going to still think its a game..

[AriadneSky]

A child enduring corporal punishment is the weakest and the one most vulnerable to physical harm and from those who should love them. i think its fucked up and adults who resort to violence are cunts..

an adult is not going to walk up to an adult being unruly and punch them-bc they are afraid. but a kid is defenseless so they will do it. its not for the kids own god, its for their own fetish. if they CARED about the kid theyd take the time to teach them... and if they can't they would not have children. no one is forcing you to have kids. parents hit bc they can't take the frustration NOT to teach. kids are in capable of learning when in a state of fear. the release of cortisol inhibits cognition.. that. they learn to fear not to comprehend complex reasoning and implement rational decision making skills. they become reactionary not rational.

[AriadneSky]

Thank you for MH and not oerietyatujg violence in the world through child rearing.

[AriadneSky]

Perpetuating*

[CurLyF]

I would never spank them. Just because we are their parents doesn't make us their owners to do whatever we want, including physical violence. Children can have very bad behaviors, but personally, I think that if your child simply doesn't know how to behave it's because you the parent have let those bad behaviors take root long before you even have to resort to violence. If they do something really dangerous or bad, then talk to them and explain them. If you don't have the patience required to make a child understand something, then you are not qualified enough to be a parent. That's my opinion at least.

[madhatters4]

i don't plan on spanking my children

[jp612612]

I wouldn't but at the same time, I worry that I'm going to be an overly permissive parent. Being anti-spanking is currently in vogue, so instead what you end up seeing is attempts to reason with children until a happy medium can be reached with their pet parents. But you know, I'm a divorced parent and when I use a strict tone with my girls, my oldest often whips out the "I want mommy" which if you can imagine, really stings. I'd like to think that I do a good job of keeping my girls in line and that my girls are very well-behaved, but at the same time, when I see a parent struggling with an out-of-control child, I actually have compassion for them rather than contempt. Society is extremely judgmental nowadays and for better or for worse, parents are given less freedom to parent the way they want.

[Phoenix98]

Yup with both my hand and a leather belt.

Children have no concept of morality and good and bad, right and wrong that's why there is sayings bout how children are some of the most cruelest individuals. You need to let them know when they are doing something bad.

Children need to be disciplined and to be prepared for the harsh reality of the world otherwise you have end up with these spoiled, coddled liberal crybabies who literally throw adult tantrums and fits when they don't get their way.

You also need to discipline your child so that they know right from wrong and so the child doesn't end up controlling you and taking advantage of you because you won't do what's necessary.

[SeraBarton]

My parents have never spanked me or my brother. I personally think it's what parents do when they don't have the patience and intelligence to properly teach and control a situation without hitting. Sure it's conditioning and pain can be a powerful motivator, but it also makes kids afraid of their parents and that's not right.

I've seen parents in restaraunts give a quick swat to get a screaming toddlers attention, and I get why they do that but I think it'd be better to just take the child outside till they calm down. And to parents who bend a child over their knee and beat them with belts I think you're committing child abuse.

[Iraqveteran666]

Yes but only to correct bad behaviour. Go to any mall and you will see parents trying to negotiate with a badly behaved kid who doesn't understand or is pushing their limits to see how far they can push. Bad behaviour must be corrected early on or that bad behaviour will get worse as time goes on.

[samhradh_leannan]

Nope. I want my children to behave well because they understand why it's important to do so, not because they're scared. I don't want my children to trust me and look up to me, not fear me. And I believe other methods are more effective and more positive.

[Funkyfaith]

I don't know honestly, I grew up getting spanked with everything from wooden spoons, belts, hangars and even thin tree branches. I'm a well behaved person. I always do my best to respect adults. When I was younger, parents would brag on how well behaved my siblings and I were. So maybe it works

[Anonymous]

No, and there's no debate anymore. It's scientifically proven that spanking harms kids, lowers IQ, makes them more aggressive, increases defiance, increases substance abuse, more likely to be abusive adults. There are other ways to discipline a child.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONNRfflggBg

latimesblogs.latimes.com/.../6a00d8341c630a53ef0120a59732d2970b-pi
https://i.imgur.com/Oujh397.png

[uknaked]

As a great grandfather I support spanking as a last resort, to be used rarely, but used when necessary.
Spanking should be just one or two hand slaps on the leg or butt, that sting, to let the child know that they have reached the limit of acceptable behaviour.
It is not cruel if used correctly, it is just the very best method of stopping the child going too far.
If used to often it loses effectiveness, but used correctly it works wonders!

[TheDevilInside]

I don't believe in corporal punishment. There's quite a thin line between hitting your kids to discipline them and hitting them because you're frustrated (which could very easily slip into child abuse)

[luna33]

Sometimes? Yes. Most of all I like to sit and talk to them, try make them understand right and wrong. Usually I repeat myself very often because I don't want to punish them that way but when things are ignore thats my last option. So far they been excellent kids, respectfull, very smart, they know how to listen and follow rules, no need for spanking etc.

[Neverrrmore]

Yes. When it comes to certain things it's necessary. My son once when he was maybe 3, unlocked our side door and walked out while I was cleaning. Found him in the backyard. I spanked his butt for that one. He didn't do it again.

[djvtech]

So if someone was about to walk into traffic because they wherent looking, you would grab them and start spanking them? Does that sound unreasonable? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBm8i96ZGcQ

[Neverrrmore]

@djvtech uhhhh yes. Do you have kids? Because when my son stepped away from me when I was getting the other one out in the parking lot I was grabbing whatever I could geab, hair, ear, nose, spanked his butt and told him why he almost himself killed. He knows now.

[ksoma]

I would.
I was spanked. I know other people who were spanked. And I had one friend who was beaten, and I witnessed it.
There is a world of difference between a spanking, and child abuse. And sometimes, a kid needs a swat on the ass. I know I did.

[Soniant]

Yep. U r 100% right

[littleheartbigbooty]

I don't think hitting kids will make them grow into better people, I actually think it would have the opposite effect

[Anonymous]

If you have to resort to physical punishment like spanking, you have failed in your parenting skills.

[Dunkley2302]

don't have kids.

[Opinion Owner]

For those that down voted me, you obviously know very little about child psychology.

[Dunkley2302]

seriously, do yourself and the rest of the world a favor and don't.

[JCT666]

Well, the reason why kids today are a bunch of misbehaving brats whether it's in school, a mall, a restaurant or anywhere in public is because of parents not disciplining them properly. So it's the parents who think discipline is the same as child-abuse that have failed at parenting and should not ever have children.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kid. My siblings and I got spanked, hit sometimes all night and yelled at and it never worked. We'd keep doing what we wanted and our grades got worse. And we've hated our parent, grew up afraid and angry. Depends how else you grow up, if you keep yourself busy with activities, if parents are fighting etc. Einstein said if you keep doing the same thing with same results yer insane. I don't intend to but you know what they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree sometimes.

[t_time]

yes I was spanked as a kid. it's not like your beating them it's a light swat. but it worked for me for I'd do the same with my kids.

[chriss]

just remember that you never what kind off personality the brain can develop.

maybe the kid can have flashbacks for years and then become violent.

i am not saying it will happen to your future child but anything is possible.

the mind is very powerful and it can take over an individual very easily

[t_time]

yah I guess so. but it's not like your actually hurting them. it's not a violent swat on the backside. if they are throwing a fit. kicking and hitting me yah il give them a swat and a time out

[martyfellow]

It's for their own good. Here in the US kids are completely savage half the time.

[writing_essays]

I was spanked as a kid and was extremely well behaved, obedient, respectful, loving, intelligent, compassionate and a good person.

People too selfish or slutty to spank their children do not deserve to have kids and should be sterilized

[djvtech]

For every "i was ____ I turned out ok" you can find an equal or greater amount of people who are not ok. I know lots of people who where spanked and turned out to be shits. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONNRfflggBg

[brave1997]

i would spank them (not beat) if they get out of line but if they did something naughty i'll just seize their toys or technology or ground them and double their house chores