How to deal with Facebook?

OK so I started thinking when I saw another Facebook question on here. His question was does Facebook help or hurt a relationship and the general consensus was that it hurts it. So knowing that what would you recommend to do about Facebook when heading into a relationship considering the fact that both people probably already have well established pages.


Most Helpful Girl

  • depends what you mean by helping or hurting a relationship. The way I look at fb is I feel that there is nothing on there that I wouldn't want my boyfriend to know because if I am in a relationship with someone I'm with that person whether or not they are physically with me. Therefore if someone took a picture of me that wasn't appropriate and placed it on fb when my boyfriend wasn't around, I can't get mad at the person who tagged me in that photo. I should be upset with myself because that's not a body double in that photo. Its me... and let me just first say well it wouldn't happen.

    I'm all for going out and hanging out seperately and doing your own things. Actually I'm an advocate for it. But, facebook really shouldn't get in the way of a healthy relationship. Photos of people posing not doing anything vulgar or inappropriate of a girl and a guy (not being in a relationship) shouldn't upset either parties significant other its just a photo and if you get jealous of that that's not exactly healthy.

    I think that facebook really shouldn't be a factor at all in relationships. I mean if you have a healthy relationship, respect each other and have good lines of communication I don't think that facebook should have anything to hide. Saying you are in a relationship on facebook isn't a big deal either sometimes people just put in a relationship because they don't want people all in their business. Pictures of a couple together shouldn't be an issue either because if you can go out in public together than you should be able to have a photo of the two of you up. If someone puts on your fb somethings that's inappropriate that's on the persons whos fb it is to take care of it. once again relationships are about respect and honesty. facebook shouldn't be a factor. I don't think it helps or hurts a relationship. I think it can do damage if someone has something to hide.


What Girls Said 6

  • i know from experience that it can cause a lot of paranoia, especially if you have ex's and people you've hooked up with on there. What happened with me and my boyfriend was that after he made me delete all my ex's, I got so over it so I just deleted mine. Facebook should be fine, just remember your past and all ur past comments to and about other people are there on your wall, so just a warning if your girlfriend decides to snoop at your page, remind her that it was before you met, and she may not like what she finds. If she still reacts then she is silly !

  • Depends on what you mean by helping or hurting a relationship. There should be nothing on Facebook which you do not want your friends and close ones to see. And there should be nothing hidden in the closet on Facebook. Therefore, if either you or the other person are too afraid to share what you have on Facebook with each other, the question to ask is whether you are ready to enter into a relationship?

    Two people who value one another, should have nothing to hide from each other. Trust is one of the most important aspect of a well established relationship. Facebook should only be a reflection of who you are. If the other person cannot accept that or you are acting differently to your usual self, then maybe the relationship is not meant to be in the first place.

    I would have no problem sharing my Facebook with someone I like, as it is all about me and my friends. If he cannot accept me for who I am, then it is his choice, I can only be who I am.

    • Here's the question I was referring to:

      I have nothing to hide on my Facebook, the conversation was just referring to the fact that many things can be misconstrued

    • Thanks for providing the link to the other question. I agree things can be misconstrued, and what you see may not be the truth, but if you are curious, then you could always ask. Sorry, the you, isn't you personally, but just people in general.

      I agree that there is a risk of becoming obsessed with checking someone's profile if you like them, which does seem like stalking. As for the guy who found out about the other guy who the girl he liked was dating. It's hard, but he just have to accept...

    • For whatever reason she likes this other guy more, but it's not his loss at the end of the day, and he shouldn't feel someone else is better than him as we are all individual. It's important to have that level of self-esteem.

      I also agree that you shouldn't live your life through Facebook. Facebook is a great way to stay in touch with friends, especially those far away, but not the ideal medium to communicate with a girlfriend. And yes GF/BF can get jealous, but that comes down to trust.

  • make it the facebook test. if a relationship can't handle facebook, its over lol.

  • just put that you're in a relationship or take relationship status off.

  • I don't think it would hurt a relationship if it did ruin a relationship then apparently you weren't right for each other in the first place because lets face it we put our lives on Facebook.


What Guys Said 3

  • This was a concern of mine heading into my relationship.

    Just don't become dependent on using it as a means of communication. Its cute to leave little wall posts and what not, but don't schedule dates on it or have conversations through it. If you need to go to the options on the chat menu and click go offline, that way there is no temptation to limit your conversations to the chat. If you find that you're using Facebook too much, give her a phone call, its always nice to hear her voice, isn't it?

    Also, make sure that other girls aren't posting stuff on your wall saying they love you and blahblahblah, because girlfriends get very jealous. I was lucky enough that she came up to me and asked me to delete the comments because it bothered her and made her worry that I would leave her.

  • Change your security settings to make sure that your relationship status is hidden from everyone. You are doing it to preserve and protect your relationship.

    Many people like snooping around on Facebook pages of others. Homewreckers will manipulate Facebook and wait until they see "No Longer listed as in a relationship"...then, they'll ask what happened. Before you know it, they are trying to sweat you.

    Once you allow yourself to live life through Facebook and have everything you've down in your life broadcasted over Facebook, you lose your privacy and peace of mind.

    I suggest you limit Facebook to communicating with family and close friends that live far away.

    Facebook should not dictate anything within your relationship and should not hold a significance within any relationship.

    Jealousy is everywhere and people will do anything to manipulate others as well as cause relationship problems. Facebook only complicates relationships.

    Good Luck!

  • To me, the more I used facebook, the worst everthing become. It is almost like back truck or bad luck. When I used facebook more often, I find it socially, mentally, disturbing and become very disinterested in engaging or communicating. I think it has to do with the way it is set up because facebook is not like other social networks. Indeed, it is socially impedimenta, which means it eventually hurts your ability to social, you ability to connect with people, and you ability to sustain relationships because one way or another you will find yourself colliding with others' personal life or issues. For example, I person feels very bad and posts "life sucks". You and you friends comment, asking " are you allright?". But others might then start acting like mom giving unwarranted undeed advice or people like boss, manangers and co-workers find out or say something that makes you upset or one of your friend upset.

    I now use less because I found out it is never good. To exeperience this, spend more time communicating on facebook, you find it valualess and you start thinking "relationships as valuless because you get tired of the stupid comments, posts, and pc others tag you. it is not healthy place to be socially active, but rather network you will eventually find yourself suffering from paronia