What will it take to wake females up?

[EyeZen]

Now, before I begin, you'll notice my attitude toward this topic will seem bitter and one-sided. I apologize to those who will be offended by this, but I've posted here, in order to gather data quickly.

To start, I'm 19, African American, I don't smoke or drink, and I don't believe in "date-sex". I'm not super-model handsome, but good looking enough to catch a nice looking girls eye by being "kind" or "sweet" to them.

Now, through my observation of females, I have noticed some very annoying tendencies with girls my age.

They are very weak-willed and easily influenced, lack self control, very superficial, and are severely delusional when it comes to romance.

Its like they use the endings to romantic comedies as a guide to how relationships should be.

You could say that this is just girls my age, and I'm young and I need to understand that its just a phase.

My problem with that is, usually this "phase" for women involves prematurely getting involved in a relationship with a guy, and, inevitably getting their hearts crushed because the guy didn't fulfill their delusional fantasy of how love truly is.

To be honest, If I'm going to date, the girl HAS to be a virgin, and I don't take that silly "I thought he was the one" crap, as an excuse.

(I'm only talking about people REALLY trying in a relationship, not the oversexed kids who are just having sex for the sake of having it)

I know that guys are usually horny mindless f***s at my age, but, when will girls wake up and stop using the old "I loved him" excuse to open their legs? Because honestly, love transcends sex, and a lot of young guys and girls my age put too much emphasis on it.

Another sad truth about girls my age is, they will run guys around trying to find their "prince", "knight in shining armor", "soul-mate", or w.e foolish ideal of a man they picked up from watching too many Disney movies. So even if they find a good one, they are subconsciously studying everything he does. If he does something contrary to whatever magical fairy tale criteria they have created, their eyes will wander.

I'm probably one of the few guys who tells girls off for saying things to me like "I wish my boyfriend was like you". I get very annoyed if I notice someones girlfriend coming on to me, because I know if I don't "meet her criteria" she'll go behind my back and do the same thing.

I'm sort of in a catch-22 because. I shouldn't be concerned with girls my age because they aren't mature enough yet, but I don't want girls who have already been corrupted and "done everything", which is what happens to them between the ages of 18-25.

That coupled with the fact that women have a tendency to constantly want to upgrade their man if they think they can achieve someone better, has me thinking "f*** them, ill just use them for what I want, and ditch them"

Is there really any hope, because I honestly don't believe women are worth the effort.

j

Updates

+1 y

(Naturally, if I'm demanding that my partner be a virgin, it wouldn't make sense if I wasn't. I don't believe in premarital sex)

[zombiefood]

I figure you'll get a lot of hate for this so I'll be the one person who'll explain themselves nicely. Hopefully you'll appreciate it.

1) Love is a relative term. No one knows what love feels like. I got out of a relationship where I thought I was madly desperately hopelessly in love with my boyfriend (it was a serious relationship, and lasted more than a year) then after quite some time had passed and I started dating the boy I'm with now I realized that what I felt for that other guy couldn't have been love. If it was than this new feeling is... well I'll need to come up with a new term because it feels so much better. So, when a girl says that she had sex with her boyfriend because she wanted to show him how much she loved him, and that they were in love, don't scoff at it. Most girls don't even wait for that. I didn't even kiss a boy till I was 18. No pecks, kisses on the cheek, nothing. My first kiss of any kind. And it took a long time after that for me to do anything more with him. I never planned on waiting till marriage, but I"m glad I waited for some one I loved, even if not as much as this person I'm with now. Because by waiting, I don't regret a thing.

2) Just because a girl has had sex doesn't mean she's corrupted. Hell, I'm not even a little different from the person I was before. I'm still innocent and adorable and just as naive as ever, despite what I have or haven't done.

3) Us women have the same fear. Look at ever movie or TV show ever. The guys are always staring at the 20 year old hot sh*t while their middle aged wives sit in the kitchen trying to find a way to be at all appealing to them. Husbands talk about 'tapping that' and how they wish their wife could look like that again. They break up marriages for a chance to get with some one younger and hotter. So please don't play victim, we're all in the same boat.

4) I never used love as an excuse to have sex. My mind, spirit and body all came together in one moment and decided it was time. I wanted to see what the hype was about and I was with some one I loved and trusted and deeply truly cared about. It just kind of happened, neither of us was pushing it we weren't counting down the seconds. And I'm not a slut so don't you dare insinuate that again. The whole point of sex is to wait until you're ready, and with some one you care very much about, whether you end up with that person or not is a different story, but in a long term committed relationship there is nothing unhealthy about it.

5) Love isn't about fairy tale endings, it's not about perfect romances. It's about imperfections and faults and troubles and fights, it's about loving and caring and seeing through all that. Any girl who works like that isn't worth your time, and that's probably the only experience you've had, but I promise we're not all like that. When I'm in a relationship I"m committed. I look at the faults then accept and love them because in order to love him I have to love all of him, even the

[zombiefood]

Things that aren't perfect. Because its those that make him who he is, and it's those that make him different and amazing and special.

6) If you don't believe in prematiatal sex then don't criticize others for partaking. Because, to be honest, it is disgusting and shows a sever lack of character, virtue and respect on your part to others who have different beliefs. You are being completely intolerant, insulting, rude and crude and if you think that a girl like a boy with an attitude like that

[zombiefood]

You are sorely mistaken.

So I'll leave with this note, just because you believe one thing, don't insult others for believing something else. It makes you sound immature, childish, ignorant and just flat out stupid. Have some self respect and get some respect for others and learn a bit about something outside your personal bubble.

It's perfectly fine if you want to wait till marriage but just because some one else doesn't, doesn't make them a bad person. I could go on forever on this but your

[zombiefood]

Comment has made me very upset, distraught and annoyed so I'm going to leave it alone now.

Have a good day, I hope you find your fantasized fairy tale ending which you so insultingly shot down, because apperantly no one else's matters but your own.

[EyeZen]

To start, let me just say I'm not here to make friends, or even be fair/tolerant/level-headed.

I'm simply gathering data.

It just helps to not tell you what information I'm looking for, in order to receive sincere answers.

I really appreciate your Input, and thank you for investing the time it took to type that, for my sake.

[jacquesvol]

Several great answers here !

I even had to look up a word and learned something (about using the modem. No, I don't game, lol):

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tapping

[MissGuided]

Wow, you just generalized all women into one category. I'm gonna tell you what I have told countless friends who have had this problem, you are looking in ALL the wrong places buddy. I have SO many friends who are between the ages of 18-25 who are in fact intellectual girls of various races who are virgins and such (including me). The thing is guys b*tch about how women in this age group are weak-willed, all about partying, or are always looking for their fairy tale ending. You have got to be kidding me. Where are you looking for women at house parties and bars? I'm not saying women of substance can't go out to dance and have a good time (we all do), but that doesn't mean we're sluts with a vengeance to find man. You should try going to do stuff you enjoy whether it be paint balling, golfing, operas, etc. You never know where you'll meet a girl. A lot of girls out there are single who are focused on becoming successful in their lives. I want to re-iterate the fact that you're probably looking in all the wrong places. I don't want to be rude, just realistic. Realistically, guys don't generally notice these girls. They may be average themselves, but they expect to find a girl who looks like a supermodel. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Hardly will you find a girl who both looks like a supermodel and has profound levels of substance. I'm not saying they're not out there, but the thing is people forget beauty is skin deep. Yes, some girls are weak willed no matter HOW they look or HOW intelligent they are, but that's not EVERYONE. I've met a lot of guys who have gotten past the clichés (yes, they are in this age group) and have found a great women. Grow up, get past the mind games. It's a 2 way street. If you expect to find a better women, cut the BS, move past the mind games, and start looking in unexpected places. Good luck.

[EyeZen]

I've picked up on the theme of this whole post of yours, which is generally

"WHAT ABOUT THE UNNATTRACTIVE GIRLS?!"

And by attractive I mean in an exterior sense, because there are many types of attractiveness. I've seen homely looking girls gain confidence from someone giving them a shot, and them they become the same as the super models. Its all about the opportunity they are presented with.

Disagree. You have a right to.

[MissGuided]

No. I still don't think you get it. It's about assuming that all girls your age who are "overtly attractive" are sluts. You obviously go after one type, and you're all about finding whatever you consider a hot girl is to be a virgin. You say anything about finding someone who you can have good conversation with or enjoy life with. Love is not all about sex. That's exactly what you said. And it's true, it's about understanding. You defeat the purpose of your whole argument.

[EyeZen]

Wrong.

I have not once said I go after hot or attractive girls.

You said "obviously" I go after one type.

I'm sorry I confused you.

I just tried to give a scenario to you.

The moral of that scenario was

"NO MATTER WHAT THE GIRL LOOKS LIKE, GIVEN THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY, YOU GET THE SAME RESULT"

Pardon my caps, but I'm trying to get your attention on my point.

I said homely/supermodel. Both sides of the spectrum. And everything between.

[Anonymous]

WELLyou have it all figured out to be honest there are girls who move on quickly to have sex because of their feelings but that is how they feel they don't know what the futur will bring therefor for a guy like you you need a virgin you need to be her first

[jacquesvol]

"To be honest, If I'm going to date, the girl HAS to be a virgin, and I don't take that silly "I thought he was the one" crap, as an excuse."

So, in your opinion, a girl has no right to error or to misjudge someone?

At 19 you feel you aren't ready, but you can't imagine that other people feel they're ready?

"because I honestly don't believe women are worth the effort."

Because, in your opinion, men are (or at least you're) worth the effort?

[zombiefood]

Again, look at any TV or movie ever, on yeah men are so worth our effort. Look at real life even all the stupid and horrible stuff they do yeah you men are so worth our time.

[sinful1620]

Are you a virgin?