My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for 3 1/2 years. He makes 3 times as much as I do, and I try my best to contribute and pay half when I can, but sometimes its just not feasible for me. I try to explain this to him but it seems like it goes in one ear and out the other.
Sometimes, if I walk into a store to buy myself ice cream or something silly, he'll stand outside, and I think it's because he wants to avoid the possibility of being expected to pay.
I clean up his apt for him when he's not there and I cook, which he never does for me, to try to hep out in a way that isn't monetary. However, lately it feels like I'm being tested and he just doesn't want to pick up any bills or anything. I was raised in a family where the man always picked up the tab, but I'm not a gold digger. I just see it as a form of respect. He knows my financial situation and he still gives me a hard time when I don't offer to pay half on a date. It hurts my feeling and makes me feel like he looks at me as someone who takes advantage. I don't care what we do together but he doesn't seem to understand that what seems like a small amount of money to him makes a big difference to me. He's always had money and I've always struggled for it, so I have a hard time getting him to understand my position without him getting defensive.
I love him in so many other ways. He is my best friend, but this polar opposite way of looking at money is pushing me away. How can I make him understand my position without it seeming like I only care about money?
Sometimes, if I walk into a store to buy myself ice cream or something silly, he'll stand outside, and I think it's because he wants to avoid the possibility of being expected to pay.
I clean up his apt for him when he's not there and I cook, which he never does for me, to try to hep out in a way that isn't monetary. However, lately it feels like I'm being tested and he just doesn't want to pick up any bills or anything. I was raised in a family where the man always picked up the tab, but I'm not a gold digger. I just see it as a form of respect. He knows my financial situation and he still gives me a hard time when I don't offer to pay half on a date. It hurts my feeling and makes me feel like he looks at me as someone who takes advantage. I don't care what we do together but he doesn't seem to understand that what seems like a small amount of money to him makes a big difference to me. He's always had money and I've always struggled for it, so I have a hard time getting him to understand my position without him getting defensive.
I love him in so many other ways. He is my best friend, but this polar opposite way of looking at money is pushing me away. How can I make him understand my position without it seeming like I only care about money?
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