He doesn't want kids, but I do?

Okay so I've been with my boyfriend for about 7 months now and everything's been great and I can very much say I'm completely happy with my life right now. The only problem is the other night at dinner my boyfriend brought up the topic of kids. He basically told me that he wanted to know where I stood on it because he feels that he'd be better as an uncle than a dad. And then continued on to say that he isn't going to try to have kids but if it just happened it's a blessing. The whole time I was speechless because I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher so OBVIOUSLY I love kids and yes I very much want to have my own someday. I'm not saying I want them now but I would like to have some in the future and I just feel like he crushed my dreams of our perfect life together.. I guess I just don't know what to do? Is it pointless to stay with someone if you want something they don't?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys often change their mind on this issue as they age. My gut feeling is he'll eventually shift his viewpoint on children as most men do, but I'd also be remiss if I didn't warn you that there are times when their mentalities don't change. Go over with him the reasons for him not wanting kids. If it's because he enjoys the freedom of not having kids (though cute they do suck up a lot of time) he'll probably grow out of that as he ages. If it's something else like he can't stand kids (they yell all the time, they're a constant mess) he may not get over that. If he says he's okay with being an uncle though, and if he says if you do have kids it's a blessing, then he'll probably at least be open to having a kid in the future.

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      exactly! I think he might be a bit scared of the fact that he needs to take care of somebody else who is reliable on him. I know a lot of guys who said that (don't know his age..but maybe same age gap like yours?) and they TOTALLY changed their view when they heard their girlfriend is pregnant! So no worries!