What is more important: Career or Relationship?

I was having a debate about this with someone recently. She thought that career was more important. Career comes first, and then since you are more established, you can find a relationship later. I feel that it is the other way around. First, you develop your relationships, then you are able to become more confident in your career.

What do you all think? What would you do first?

  • Career
    41% (55)44% (35)42% (90)Vote
  • Relationships
    42% (56)50% (40)45% (96)Vote
  • Neither (Please explain.)
    17% (23)6% (5)13% (28)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Now that I think about it more, I agree with the majority of the girls that it is neither. You never really know when you will have an established career or fall in love.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You need a career to live and support yourself but you also need relationships for your overall well-being and emotional health. This question is more about which one is more important to establish first and less about which one is actually more important than the other.I would say relationships are more important overall because without friends and lovers life would be a dull, empty exsistance. Yes, I do believe it is important to establish a career before you go actively searching for some kind of relationship because more than likely the relationships will come to you. You can't wait around for a career and expect to get one unlike relationships where you can wait around and something will most likely happen. Heck, why not pursue both at the same time? There really is no harm done if you can manage both. Good luck!


What Guys Said 15

  • neither...I'm voting for "Purpose." If you find what you are passionate about doing in life, the right relationships will line up with that. So in the end, you get both, and hopefully don't have to sacrifice everything for the other.

  • WHY ARE PEOPLE CHOSING RELATIONSHIPS OVER CAREER...if your talking marriage its a differnt thing...but unless my girlfriend is paying all my bills then there is NO WAY she is getting in the way of me making money and doing what I paid my college education for...people are DUMB DUMB DUMB

    relationships come and go...end of story, there is usually one person out there for you and if you find it great, but no way should you let a relationship get in teh way of your career...

  • oh, career. without any hesitation. with a career it'd be SO easy to be involved in a relationship

  • Neither is more important - you need both.

    Interesting to see how many guys think a woman's pants will fall off if they only had a bit more wealth. These people although sometimes saying career, are mainly choosing it as a route to a relationship.

    Also how few see a career as much more than a way to get money (rather than to help others, or for challenge and personal growth etc).

  • I think for guys it's definitlely career. I'm actually surprised the poll has guys split 50/50 and pretty much the same for girls (of those who didn't choose "neither"). The reason career is more important for most guys is that our ability to attract and keep a girl in the first place as well as to get another one if the relationship fails is directly tied to our employment. Girls tend to care a fair bit about what a guy does.

    Since guys don't really care as much about what girls do for a living as they do about our careers, having or not having an established career doesn't really help or hurt a girl looking for a guy.

    • i think a career makes a girl more secure in dating and more independent, I don't think it's true that guys don't mind it

  • I cannot speak for women, but men should worry about their career first. Once you have a career then you have money. Then, with money you will get a car and hopefully a house. Once you have all those things women will chasing you. I know this becasue I know this guy who has a car, money, and a house and he always get these hot blond girlfriends. He is my hero.

  • F*** bitches get money!

  • Really? I'm the only person who said relationships? :\ bah

    • I was when I commented :D nice to see others agree. Money's nice and all and feeling accomplished in my career, but having someone you love with you or good friends or family are far better.

  • of course Career! after you earn a lot of money and have your future done, then you can have a good relationship instable without problems with money and yeah!

    lolol probably most of people who chose "relationships" are kids around 14+ who doesn't know anything about money and yeah. they just dream about a great relationship and yeah, but they don't think about money because they don't need to work for it.

  • i don't need money to be happy, I just need a sweet girl ho love and hold.

    • love cannot buy happiness I agree...but lets face reality here, you ahve a house to pay off and car bills...why destroy your credit and future opportunites over a relationship...after all its a RELATIONSHIP not marriage we are talkinga bout here

    • i know, but I'me be rich someday, so I'm only worrying about the love part, money doesn't worry me at the moment.

  • I voted A. A career probably takes the edge in this one because your career is what is going to stay with you for life and that is how you are going to make a living to support your family and stuff, whereas relationships come and go and you never know if your relationships will last because of the different problems you have to face. What I mean to say is, you can be involved in many relationships in your lifetime but your career is something you cannot be failing at time and time again and expect another to come along. Sure, you can switch careers in life but then you need to invest time and money before you make a living out of it. Careers will also help you take responsibility in your life and it's an important lesson in learning to stand on your own two feet. I think relationships tend to move more smoothly once a person has established themselves and has reached their goals. It also helps them to be more confident in who they are and once they are finally in a relationship they will have the neccessary skills and maturity to make the relationship work, providing they find someone who they are compatible with.

  • unfortuneately, for men it is their purpose and mission, for women it is relationships, articles or advice on how to be masculine say that your mission and purpose in life is your number one priority, f*** society

  • I voted career because I feel that relationships can come and go but your career will always be with you no matter what, like it or not. So you should invest the time to make sure it is one you want (same as with relationships).

    I do agree that a healthy relationship will make you more confident in your career but I also feel that a successful career will make you more confident with your relationships.

  • It really comes down to priorities. Personally, I put relationships over career any day but it really comes down to personal preference.

  • No career= no money = no supplies = death.

    No relationship = no problem = no effect on health.


What Girls Said 22

  • career by far. this from a 35 year old woman that has learned that men come and go but your career will always be there and will be what ALWAYS carries you through. no effin way I would put a man before my career. no way. no how. ain't happening.

  • relationship. happiness over wealth for me

    • Don't you think that having a successful, rewarding career would bring you happiness?

    • I agree with this. Money is only a temporary happiness.

    • it would bring me happiness if I still had a great relationship alongside the career. but otherwise it would not for me personally. I would much rather be a happy housewife than a lonely successful career woman. that's just how I am :)

  • Neither, I don't think that one needs to come before the others. I do think that you should be financially able to support yourselves if you're getting married, and in that case a career is needed, but not before you start looking for a relationship. I wouldn't limit myself to this, I've stumbled into a good relationship while doing my masters, and even though I'm not established in a career, I'm willing to get serious about it, but I know that I will need to find a food job/career in a few months, so in my case I'm doing both at the same time.

  • Both are important, but each have pros and cons if you just pick one and not the other.

    What matters is OVERALL happiness, which comes form both of these and lots of other things.

  • Well the fact is that I'm not going to be with you're a dead beat. You don't have to be the richest guy in teh world but if you don't have a job, it's not any better. If you're rich adn I don't love you, what's the point?

    the fact is that both are equally important: without one, you're not likely to be a in healthy relationship or have a good successful life (since I measure success based on happiness). if you're unhappy, there's no point to life either and you ned both to be happy.

  • Career.. It was taught to me that a person needs to be able to stand up by themselves before they can stand with another.. Makes sense to me also relationships are distracting.. A person should focus on getting themselves where they need to be before building a relationship. Then the two can grow together and enjoy the hopefully easier parts of the journey.. Careers pay your bills and keep you fed. Relationships do not. The only exception being if you have a really good significant other. I have always been a firm believer that if you find someone to be good to you never let them go.

    Note: this answer is to a young couple in college scenario.. Not an adult scenario where the two are already established

  • I voted A, but it's really a balance of the two. You need enough money to live but you also need companionship. I'm regretting my choice a little bit because I think I was thinking more along the marriage line of things, not relationship. If I'm going to be in and out of relationships, then I might as well just skip the heartache and go with career. However, the reason I chose relationship is because I was thinking of my overall purpose on this planet. And I would really have rather had love than all the money. What lives on? I would say our love, relationships with others means more than money. Money is not happiness forever; in face money does not equal happiness. And the richest people aren't always happy. All the lottery winners have bad things happen to them because they either get greedy (as in in human nature) or just don't know what to do with all that money. Both are essential; it's hard to choose between them.

  • They are important for different reasons. I think people need both and should not have to choose.

  • i think career because relationship come and go like the wind

  • I wouldn't do either first on purpose. If I get a career before a relationship, so be it, and vice versa. When people are finding their careers it puts a lot of strain on a relationship, especially if your expecting your career confidence from your partner. You have to have confidence on your own first.

    If I had to choose, I would pick a career first, but I still voted neither because falling in love isn't something you can help. I wouldn't be consciously looking for a relationship though if I'm still rocky on my career.

  • It's a hard decision but I'd probably end up picking career. I've worked too hard to see my dreams fail. :(

  • I'd say relationships. Because I want to have a person that was my other half...but at the first of the month...Love doesn't pay my Bills.(notthat I have any right now...I'm 16) but a good balance of both I'm thinking will equal happiness.

  • career. I'm not going to base my entire life one someone that may leave me tomorrow because I can work at a career and make it successful that all depends on me but a relationship is two people if both aren't in it then it's a failure

  • career

  • What about both?

  • Career. Relationship is only more important if you're married and have a family to raise, unless you are married to a good man and have children then nothing is ever more important than advancing yourself.

    It makes no sense for young women to get tied down to relationships and kids before they have ever lived on their own and made something for themselves. They end up having to sacrifice their dreams and for what? Your 20s are for living your life and making your own way, you have the entire rest of your life to settle down. Why do it now? Especially when relationships are not guaranteed. You could be here today and single tomorrow and then what? Looking stupid when you've wasted the best years of your life taking care of kids and a man instead of doing you.

  • With a career, it provides for everything in your life. It should come before a relationship only because without it, you would be having finical problems.

  • I learn from my mothers mistakes and from the lives of other couples I've witnessed. both are equally important to me, but I would focus on my education and career as a priority over relationships. relationships come and go, but having something of your own is indispensable. its a matter of not only survival, but fulfillment and searching for that which makes you happy. when relationships are the main priority, that's an easy ticket to "i loved him too much to do what I wanted and ended up with a baby, just working any job to get by and pay for the diapers" - ville.

    on the other hand, you could just be alone forever. a lot of women would rather be in a relationship and either a housewife or working a job just for the money, and not really building a career, over being alone and not having a significant other to come home to.

    i personally would rather be alone and happy with my career than happy with my relationship, but not have a career. its just a personal decision. some women are happier in that life that revolves around family, but I know that I never could be. there's a thirst inside me for my dreams and accomplishing what pushes me forward, and a relationship doesn't fill that.

    im intelligent enough to know that for me, education and career come first. I'm young but I know what I want out of life and looking to the mistakes that I see women make around me, in my parents relationships, etc. helps me see what I want to avoid.

    and my mom has built a career but being married and having kids too early (26), coupled with her own inner demons, kept her from being fulfilled. as a result she has to work to get by. she has a family to support so she works like a dog. she absolutely hates her job, isn't satisfied with her marriage any longer, and has very little of a social life. she's making the steps to transform things around, but she's open with me about the fact that having me and being with my dad eventually made accomplishing her goals much harder. she can't take jobs where she can travel, or get low income, etc. because she has us. she loves me, but love is only part of the picture, it can't make you completely happy. you need something of your own, something beyond kin to make you want to wake up. love is not enough for everyone, definitely not for me.

    so, I learn from my mother. she's everything I want to be, and nothing, all at the same time.

    the answer is different for each girl. one of my friends got married last year when we were sophomores in college. I would never have done that. it seems a bit stupid to me if I'm being honest, it was her first boyfriend and everything, but I figure she will have to learn from her own mistakes. or maybe its not a mistake at all, maybe its right for her. I remember asking her if she wanted to take this great internship abroad. she said no, she'll look for something that may not be as good, but is closer to home. I simply asked, "Why?"

    "because I just can't leave my husband, I'm married now."

  • I voted neither. Because I think it depends where you are in your life and what the other person would do for you.

    Sometimes you get to a point in your life where relationships are more important because you have a baby on the way or are about to get married or he's "the one".

    But by the same token sometime furthering yourself is more important. I think it just depends where you are in life.

    For example it can be really difficult to further your studies if you are in an intense relationship.

  • My career

  • I voted neither because life doesn't work like that.