I'm really shy. So how do I talk to my crush on Facebook?

[Anonymous]

I've asked a similar question before but didn't really get many answers, so here goes again. Hope somebody can help.

I've liked this girl for a while, but only recently had the guts to add her on Facebook. We do know of each other, but not even enough to say hello on the street.

Anyway, so I added her on Facebook and she accepted, but I'm too scared to strike up a conversation with her. I've tried once and made a complete hash of it. I sent her a random instant message, then pretended it was intended for somebody else.

I thought this would break the ice and I could start up a conversation, but she just replied with "No probs" and before I could think of what to ask her next, she went offline.

What I don't want to happen is for her to get creeped out. That's what I'm so worried about. I really like her and want to get to know her better. So how the hell do I do that? Please help.

Updates

+1 y

Umm, I guess I should mention that neither of us are still in School, and she's a few years younger than me. Basically, the only time I ever see her is on the off-chance we both happen to be in the same bar. That's why I see Facebook as my best bet.

[Loools]

Well, I think you should get to know her in person before you start talking to her on fb tbh. If you see her in the corridors or in the street, just smile at her, kinda like you've noticed her but that's all it is. If she smiles back, then that's a good sign of course :). If she's in the same classes as you, just ask to borrow a pen or ask her what the homework was and if she replies, think of something funny to comment on, not something random though, just like what you think about the teacher or the amount of homework you got, or you could even look at her with like half a frown on your face and be like 'did you used to come to this school', or 'what other classes are you in, I'm sure I've seen in you in some of them'. Always look in her direction and let her catch you looking at her, smile at her slowly and hold her gaze for a few seconds, waiting for her to look away. If she's in hardly any of your classes, join a club you know she likes and ask her for pointers or you could even see if you have any good friends in common and get them to drop your name in some conversations, always portraying you as an amazing kind, intelligent, good looking etc person :D. Hope this helps... tell me if it does :)

[Loools]

Oh well, you could always do what they do in the movies, send her a drink and see if she'll come and talk to you so as to thank you. It usually works :D

[chondell]

Aww, how adorably cute are you!? Again, you need to always have confidence, and believe in yourself. I admire the fact, that you are actively pursuing this girl, which shows you are not lazy, that you are genuine, and know what you want. However, women like mystery, charm, chivalry, and wining and dining. You have to convey your confidence across to her, in order for her to actually take you seriously, but not in an excessive way. Using technology as a means to pursue a woman, is counterproductive, until you have established a relationship, and know each other very well enough to do so. When a man wants to be with a woman: he will get in her space, see her face! In other word, you need to make it happen, and use conventional means of pursuing her. Do your homework and always assess the situation, but don't expect her to talk to you, if you can't even talk to her. Believe me, I understand how scary it can be, and how it must never get any easier for a man to confront a woman, but women respond best with reception! Make it happen sir!

Jamaica Outtttttttttt

[Kiss-the-girl]

I agree! :D

[chondell]

Facebook is fine, but if the intention is to really get to know this girl, then he has to go and talk her, and go out with her. Anybody can easily talk online, but face to face is always meaningful. Hence why it has worked since mankind has been around, and it will always work. He may be shy, and that is alright, but he is not incapable of confronting her. Their first kiss wouldn't be online? Buddy practice makes perfect! Be confident and go slow. Don't be fooled by the virtual world.

[-StillWater-]

You're having a hard time talking to someone online?!?

Damn!

You're really shy!

I'd say dump that Facebook all together and talk to her in person. Online conversations start quickly, often and obviously end up being either trivial, overly sexually explicit or simply boring to death (one doesn't exclude the other). She'll forget the 'conversation' you had online in no time.

So I'd say next time when you see her in that bar go for it and just talk to her. If nervous bring your friend and have him talk to some of her friends...so they're distracted and she feels free to engage you in conversation.

Good luck!

=)

[hockeydirect27]

Well. If you don't want her to get creeped out, I'd probably recommend talking to her in person before you message her on facebook (or even add her as a friend). I know you're shy (me too) but your shyness won't just go away if it turns out she's interested in you. Just try saying hi at school (or where ever you see her) every now and then.

Just remember that Facebook Chat isn't the place to get to know your crush.

[Anonymous]

I did something pretty similar once. Try to start out by commenting her statuses, and be light and humorous.

[yeths]

Oh I'm so tired of the people that say go talk to her in person, don't they realize that that would be the first thing a human being would think of, clearly you are too shy to do it...here's what remember she can't see you on fb, so strike up a convo there, don't just do it once and stop, she might be busy the first time, but now and then say hi, how are you, haven't seen you in a while, plan what you are going to say, shoot the breeze and trust me before you know it big time convo. Go ahead it's no big deal that's the idea behind developing social networking sites like this one

[seeya36]

Planning what you are going to say is also not a very good tactic. The reason for that is because when we play what we are going to say, we also plan what THEY are going to say. And when they don't say what we "planned" or imagined they would say we get caught off guard which causes us to worry and sometimes panic. This isn't AS big of a deal online cause you have time to think about what you're saying compared to face to face where you don't really have time to think, but still...

[awesomelycrazy]

What I did (to the guy I liked), is went on and randomly said 'hi' on Facebook chat (you can add a smiley). If they respond, then just say 'sup?' and let the conversation continue from there... Just try to add things that are more than just a 'what's up', nothing much'... just keep the converstaion flowing, or else it gets awkward, even over the computer ;D

If you can't think of anything else to say, just say bye because that is probably better than no one talking...

If she asks you how you are, you might want to mention that you are very bored, because then it doesn't look right obvious that youare dying to talk to her lol :)

good luck!

[Anonymous]

Just say hey. My crush said hey on facebook, I said hi back, he said what's up I said nothinghe said ha ha me too and then we started chatting for like 25 minutes and we had a good covo. Just try it, if it doesn't go anywhere, I'm sorry. I knowits hard to be shy- I am too.

[jujubeetzzz]

did that go anywhere irl?

[Anonymous]

ask her questions about pics and plces she's been to

[Nora-lan]

In fact, you can share something on facebook which she are interested in.

Find a good chance and tell her you like her.