Gym crush, what do I do?

[utopiadreama]

I am new to this site but I really need advice from an outsider b.c my friends are all giving me different advice.

I am 29 but extremely shy when it comes to guys especially in the morning at the gym. There is this guy that I have been interested in for months now. He goes around the same time as I and I see him a lot. We have never spoken or smiled really. When we make eye contact he looks away too fast for me to smile or say something not to mention we both have head phones on.



Some days he will look at me a lot and even last week he gave me this half smile grin thing. I don't know what this means if anything at all. Why would he look at me so much if he's not interested. I have made a plan in my head to talk to him so many times but built it up so much that I got too nervous to talk to him. Today I saw him looking at me a lot from the elliptical. But no smile or anything. I don't know if I should give up on him or ask him out right away (I don't even know if I can do that ). He goes to the gym alone and so do I but he doesn't talk to anyone, you can tell he's very quiet and to himself.

Advice, suggestions? Thanks in advance

[zeroth88]

Try the advice from fascination streak. Though the problem is how to ask without sounding awkward. You can approach him and wait for him to finish using a machine. You can ask when will he be done with it. You can say "are you gonna be long with it?" or something like that. If he answers then there's your first verbal exchange =)

Being alone in the gym can feel a bit awkward. People in there half wish a decent looking person from the opposite gender will approach them. Unless he wants to quickly bulk up, they wouldn't mind a bit of social banter.

If you want you can go on and ask him to help set up a lighter weight for you. Laugh a bit too, it helps your nerves as well as the situation.

Good luck

[Icaro]

personally I hate that 'are you gonna take long' question, it makes me want to say 'yes, fu*ck off I'm using it can't you see' lol

[zeroth88]

Lol true, but if it was some hot looking bird asking, you would be a bit more "oh was I hogging it for long? My bad here..." or something like that.

[utopiadreama]

haha yah I don't think I can say something like that at all. I was thinking asking him if he knows how to use a machine then I've never used before and go from there. If he says no and the opportunity stops I might freak out and said thanks anyway and walk away.

Do you think if he looks at me here and there he's interested? If he's really that shy, would he not talk to me or even smile? That half grin thing doesn't count. My roommate said no matter how shy a guy is if he likes you he will talk

[zeroth88]

You guys are regulars at the same gym, he knows it for sure. He's prob. looking at you cause he notice your a regular too. Since you guys were at it for some time, him looking at you once per session means he recognise you as a regular. Looking twice might mean he's curious as to what kind of machines you are using (or something). More than twice could mean he wants to talk to you cause his curious about you, i.e. he might think your interesting at least. Did he ever attempted at talking?

[huntusa]

I think talking to someone at Gym is easiest because you both share the same interest.If he has good physique then go and simply appreciate it or ask for some help while you do weights.He will gladly tell you.Then ask for diet like what he eats before workout and after workout stuff like that and then you can go on and on.It's that simple.

[fascination_streak]

I think sometimes you have to be willing to take a risk. I would maybe do something like go up to him and ask him if he knows any good exercises for your abs or biceps. It would be a good ice breaker and a legitimate excuse to approach him. Then, I'd ask his name and go from there. I don't think it's a good idea to ask him out on the spot because that will be too awkward. I think you need to build a little rapport. If you don't make a move then you may miss out on a great opportunity. Do it and make it happen.

[DocClassic]

im a bit of a gym rat and I would love it if a cute chick asked me for help on an exercise =)

[fascination_streak]

Oh cool! then the 'ploy' would work! :D

[utopiadreama]

what happens if he's socially inept or doesn't think I am cute but he must of he looks at me, right? Also if I ask him a question and he gives me a one word answer or shows that he isn't interested somehow, do I just walk away or how do I know?

[fascination_streak]

It's hard to say, I mean if he looks at you then I would venture to say he thinks you're attractive. I still think you should ask him and if he shows he isn't interested then back off. Just say, "Ok, sorry to have bothered you" and then walk away.