Should I choose job or boyfriend?

I currently have a contract for a great job for this year. It's pretty much the best job I could hope for in my field, in a beautiful place, and I could afford to buy my own unit or house here. My boyfriend of just over a year lives a 2 hour plane flight away. We committed to keeping things going for the year and have been seeing each other about once every three to four weeks. He doesn't want to move here. I promised to go back at the end of the contract and my feelings for him haven't changed. I miss him and would like to see him more often (he feels the same), but this job and place has great benefits for me. What do you think I should do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Which makes you more happy? If you feel like you can live your life fine without him then stay with your job. But if you can't live without him then maybe its time to search for other jobs closer to him. Yea money and material things is always nice but you shouldn't pass up an opportunity with someone to be happy and together for them because life is too short and there's going to come a time where you're older and can't work anymore. Would you rather have the memories of being happy and in love with him or at your job? But if you do choose to be with him then you need to evaluate it completely. Is he right for you? Do you see a future with him? Can you give you everything you want? Will you be okay if that's the last man you're ever with? Etc.


What Guys Said 2

  • analyze which one is better for you in the long term...

  • I would not sacrifice your career for a boyfriend. Husband, yes. Boyfriend, no. Unless you are planning on marrying him, I would suggest you focus on your career. For now you can keep it a long distance relationship, and see if you think you really have a future with this man.


What Girls Said 3

  • Well may be you should try doing the distances thing. It seems that you two at least put in the effort, and both of you, not just may be it can work.

    Obviously with the new job, you will have to accept that seeing each other on a regular basis won't be so easy, but may be that's the challenge here.

    I don't think you should give up on the opportunity of this career plan, after all it is only for a year, and while somethings are more important at times, also, you have to think in the long term.

    I would say make a go at doing both, obviously you may have to come to terms with the fact it doesn't work, should it go that way, but I honestly think if you two are 'strong' enough, you'll make it through a year...

    • Thanks for the comments. Yep, we're doing it for this year but I'm wondering whether to continue next year if the contract is extended or if I'm offered permanency...

    • Well, get through this year first, and then see how it goes. I think in this situation maybe taking it day by day is the best advice I can give. And the moment one of you starts lagging in effort, wil be the moment you realize it isn't working out the way you'd hoped.

  • Everything sounds good the way it is. Well, I am not sure about it for other person, but for me, if you two are willing to try the best, both your job and the relationship could be maintained. Think about those army wives who wait for their guys to come home. They wait for long.

    Sometime, not being too much together for a while can even create nice relationship, if you two stay honest. Every minutes of being together is so precious, while the time you are not together, you can dedicate it 100% for work. Two hour plane flight is nothing.. really.

    So, think about it. Do you really have to choose, while you may be able to maintain both? ... One year passes quite fast... very fast these days, ...don't you notice?