How can I get my boyfriend to ask me to move in with him?
He has his own house and has mentioned to me when he first got the house about moving in with him, but under the circumstances I couldn't really as I had no job, now I do and have for a while and he hasn't said anything about it. I don't want to be the one to ask to move in to his house.
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Most Helpful Opinion
I see so many questions about "how do I get my partner to do xxx...". And I feel like the answe is always the same. You need to talk about it. Communication is always the key. And I know it's not easy. But you can't always be on safe ground in a relationship. Vulnerability is one of the key features to happiness in a meaningful relationship. So here is what you do. Ask about it. But don't come with made decisions to your partner. Always leave room for decisions to be made together. As stupid as it sounds, the phrasing is important. People tend to get defensive when they are not offered alternatives. That's just how we are wired. So you could simply say "how would you feel if I brought up the moving in together again that you mentioned once?".
What Guys Said 3
What Girls Said 3
Let him bring it up. If he actually wants you to live with him, then he will ask you. I wouldn't try to push it, just let it happen naturally. I have seen way too many people race into things with someone and then it all falls apart. Livinou g with each other means more than just sharing a space, you also have to share expenses and chores and stuff like that. It's definitely a big step in the relationship and isn't something that should be rushed. If he wanted to before, he will come to you again. Try staying over and see how that goes. But I wouldn't mention living together, just see how he reacts to it and maybe it will make him think about it.
Stay the weekend with him and help do dishes, clean counters, that kind of thing. Be sure to stay in all weekend with him and help each other with the cooking. Just household chores that maximize your time together so that he will see you as the kind of girl you WANT live in your house with you (you are not to let him confuse this with a maid. Do chores TOGETHER. Don't do it yourself and don't let him do it himself. Offer to help him). And DON'T FIGHT. Then a few days after you stayed with him all that time, if it went really well mention that you had fun living with him for the weekend and later say you should do it more often. Then wait another little bit and call a friend in another room with the door open so he can hear and tell her how much fun living with him would be, being sure to mention all the things he would like to do with you if you moved in. Like if you're a sports girl, watching games together or maybe competitive board games if he's into that, for example. But between telling him how much you like spending so much time with him in his house, give it a couple days or wait for him to bring it up again before you mention it again. Let him churn it in his brain and make him feel like it was his idea.