What's college dating going to be like for a black chick?

[Anonymous]

So I'll be going to either a UC or CSU in 2013..I might try to save $ by going to a community college then transfer but I really wana live on campus so I can leave home.

I may live in California but guys still seem scared\intimidated to talk to me.Now that I don't straighten my hair black guys don't even seem interested as much.I want to go to a racially diverse school because that's what type of schools I've been going to except there was every race equally except white.In college there seems to be a shortage of people my race at the non community colleges I want to go to & I don't like being the only black girl in class like I am in my honors\ap class.

I noticed a lot of college black guys don't date black girls and I fee l that's the only type of guys I have a chance of them being interested in me.I'm attracted to all races but don't really show it since I'm shy and never had a bf.Most of my guy friends in school are Asian but that's not my type usually they would be last or 2nd to last attractive.

Guys don't seem to like skinny girls.I'm wondering if I'll be lonely most of college and be limited to dating certain guys?I heard a lot of college students have casual sex but that's not what id be into.I feel guys outside my race would only want to sex me not go out with me in public&have a real relationship.

I listen to all types of music(except most metal&country) but one of my friends said she was surprised I listen to rock because I don't look like it! I dress more on the conservative side but not really urban or rocker..I kinda mix up the style so I can't really label my style.

also in college are guys more likely to talk to you if they are interested or do they hold back like most hs guys? I find it easier to have a normal convvo with a college guy than hs guys or ones my age..Surpriseingly they didn't ignore me when I started the convo like how guys my age do..they only problem is most guys I meet nowadays think I'm younger than I am(at 1st I guess I look young)but I guess throughout the convo they change their mind or are just nice...Once a guy didn't even bother to say hi he straight up asked if I was 18 and I said no so he kept walking but he was my race so I guess that makes it ok(idk if he was in college though)..

And why have the few guys outside my race that have tried to approach me talk with slang as if trying to act like the stereo typical black guy.I wish they could just be themselves(but if they really are that way then I have no interest in guys that way I don't care that race)...is there another way to express I like other types of music besides the given r&b,hip-hop\rap..I like jazz,classical,pop,alternative,k pop.etc...I would never get a pericing or tattoo or gauge my ears so ya..also I don't like wearing t-shirts or most shirts with writing...I try not to straighten my hair because I want my curls to be healthy so I can't wear bangs.

people have told me I look like a church girl(I'm a Christian but haven't gone to church in a whi

[RandomTree23]

The sad thing is we still live in a society where interracial couples are shunned by some. Luckily all of those people are dieing off. XD

Up here in the Midwest, there just aren't many people who aren't white. The majority of our nation is still white. Down in California, you'll have a much better chance than up here, because up here there's the awkwardness between two people who aren't of the same ethnicity that are attracted to each other.

Yes, it will be harder for you to find someone than a blond bimbo, but everyone has that problem. If you forget about race when talking with guys you are attracted to, they'll forget it too. If you act like it's a problem, then it becomes a problem. Think about a child swearing. The only reason why they swear is because adults pay attention when they swear. Just like the "N" word. If people didn't freak out about it's use, it would just be another word.

Here are some tips that can apply to everyone:

1. Don't forget your heritage. Most likely there will be some group that deals with your ancestry that you can join. You can just be there and learn a few things and meet some people.

2. Don't forget about the heritage of other people. Learn about other peoples. Most likely you know at least a little bit of info about a lot of cultures, but in these groups you meet people who are from those nations. Keep your eyes open. You might meet a nice French guy at Pan Africa night, a nice Japanese guy at Korea Club, or a nice Indian guy at China Night.

3. Confidence is key! Yes, some guys like quiet and shy girls, but the harder you make it for guys, the harder it will be to get a date. You know what guys love? When a girl walks up to him and says he's cute. We no longer have to worry about being turned down for a date! (You would have that problem, though, but you'd get three times as many dates this way compared to you not saying anything.)

4. You are awesome! Yes, confidence again. Don't worry, you are already a great person and plenty of guys will like you. Not every guy will like you, but plenty will!

5. Don't hold yourself back. Guys like fun girls. I would much rather date a girl who I can have a lot of fun with than a hotter girl who's not as fun, and so would most guys.

6. Watch yourself! There are plenty of guys who will try to get into your pants. If you want the same thing, then make sure you don't lead on a guy who is looking for a lengthy relationship.

In college, guys are more likely to try to date than in high school, because they have fewer stigma holding them back. They are new people in new places, just like you.

Everyone in college is sexually frustrated and confused, so just try to show guys you like them in a more up front way so they aren't confused as well.

I never dated in college because I was working too much, switched colleges three/four times, and didn't know of any of this stuff. Just remember: If you never try, you'll never get anywhere.

[Asker]

Wow thanks..I highly doubt there will be anyone with my background since I don't know too much about American black ways as I do Suriname(south America) and a tiny bit Dutch since it was a former colony.

[RandomTree23]

I'm talking about Pan Africa groups, so anyone with heritage from Africa is featured by the group. There might be a South American group, but it would be much rarer than a Pan Africa group.

[Asker]

O I don't know I get along with some african girls and American black but not the ones that cuss a lot or yell alot

[RandomTree23]

I'm talking about actual clubs with meetings that put on college events.

Also, most guys can't stand those types of black girls that curse and yell a lot. They want a girl who is confident but who doesn't have a lot of "attitude." I know it's different for some "Southern Black" guys and white guys who act like stereotypical black guys, as in they like it, but most men would much prefer a mild-mannered, kind black girl, or at least they don't want her with "attitude."

[Asker]

No one wants to be around rude people race doesn't matter

[RandomTree23]

Yeah, so you already have a leg up on your competition! You just need to think about how great of a person you are. Guys, just like girls, are attracted to people who are comfortable in their own skin. Make sure you are open to talking to new people.

If you are shy, you will attract shy guys who will be too afraid to tell you that they like you. If you are confident and talkative, you'll attract confident men who will be more open about how they feel about you.

[Asker]

Ya I've noticed more shy guys looking at me but its weird because I nvr noticed shy guys in the 1st place only the cocky popular jerks and I've always been shy I'm just less shy and more confident.

[RandomTree23]

You should try to talk to some of those shy guys. Heck, you should talk to some shy girls. (Not in a sexual manner, but just being friendly.)

Shy people usually have a lot to say, but they need to break out of their shell. It doesn't take much - it just takes someone else to show interest in them first.

The guy that fixed me was David Wygant - Google him. He has a website that has stuff for men and women, but most of it is for guys. It's about building confidence and being engaging.

[Anonymous]

I am a guy with a thin but toned build and I find skinny girls to be very attractive. As for race it’s not as much of a factor as you’d think. the main factor for guys is attractiveness. I think a lot of guys are just nervous to make a move. You should flirt with more guys and send signals and see how they react to them.

[Anonymous]

You'll find out soon

[Anonymous]

Don't worry let things happen on their own