Why are so many young women vulgar?

I've been noticing a trend with a lot of younger women these days being vulgar where there is no need to be. As a man, using foul language is something I generally reserve for when I'm REALLY angry with a justifiable cause. Spouting off obscenities reeks of immaturity or lack of a proper vocabulary, or both.

Here are two examples in the last week that took me off guard:

1. I was engaging a 18 year old girl in a debate about politics. She was actually fairly well-read on the subject matter at hand. Out of nowhere, she says "what the f***" I need to register to vote. There was no point that she could have made without that comment. Why be so vulgar?

2. There was a girl I was chatting with online. After a while, I told her she looked like a chipmunk with smiley face. (She was a fairly attractive girl.) She just lost it. "What the f*** is your problem!?!?" We had a decent conversation prior to that, but after her expletive-laced outburst, she left the conversation not to return.

I strongly encourage those ladies out there that are seeking a decent man to stop cursing like sailors. It doesn't make you sexy. In fact, even though my male friends and I will let off the off-colored remark in private, we never make a point of saying anything like that in front of strangers, or use it as an excuse to blow your top like girl number 2.

Is it too much to ask for girls to cut down on the cursing?

  • I curse a lot
    40% (27)2% (1)24% (28)Vote
  • I speak like a lady
    12% (8)4% (2)8% (10)Vote
  • I speak like a lady (most of the time)
    45% (30)0% (0)25% (30)Vote
  • Men Click Here (results)
    3% (2)94% (49)43% (51)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Lessons learned:

1. Girls want to curse for a variety of reasons.

2. There seems to be no context for when or why you should let loose.

3. Don't ever playfully tease a girl on her looks, even when she refers to your face as a brillo pad and you laugh it off first and think nothing of it.

4. Even the most beautiful girls are very insecure, perhaps more so than average girls.

5. When in doubt, see number 1.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I can see both sides of the argument. One that you can appear to be vulgar when it is completely unnecessarily to do so, also that you're just automatically assuming you aren't going to offend the other person you just met with the strong language you're using. On the other hand, I believe that "magic words" or "bad words" is a pretty silly concept in general. And although that's true I find myself hypocritical in the fact that I don't personally appreciate when girls speak like this and also the ones that do I find are always a little bit angrier / crazier. Then again, it depends on the type of guy you're going after... some guys might love it.

    • Judging by the poll, it appears that we are in the minority. I am a strong believer against censorship, but due believe in self-regulation. Judging by most of the comments, the "anything goes" mentality regardless of circumstances appears to be in. If equality means picking up on what was once traditionally a lower-class male form of expression and mainstreaming it for both guys and girls, I'm not sure how this is a victory. If our President or other leaders spoke like this all the time...

    • I think it depends a lot on upbringing and social circles as well. My girl curses more than I do, but I can tell you makes a conscious effort not to when she's around me and the odd time she lets something slip out I actually find it kind of funny. It's when that's every second word out of someone's mouth, or when it's just inappropriate circumstances when it bothers me.

What Girls Said 38

  • "2. There was a girl I was chatting with online. After a while, I told her she looked like a chipmunk with smiley face. (She was a fairly attractive girl.) She just lost it. "What the f*** is your problem!?!?" We had a decent conversation prior to that, but after her expletive-laced outburst, she left the conversation not to return."

    -OMG How did I miss this one? You were rude to say that and then ridiculous to be appalled that she asked you what the f*** your problem was. What the f*** IS your problem? Really, you can't be rude yourself and have the hypocrisy to ask women to speak more politely. Why don't you take your own advice? You want people to quit cursing, but it sounds as if you could use a few lessons on tact yourself. You give off the vibe that you're pompous, arrogant and a stick-in-the-mud. If that is the kind of guy that cursing turns off then more girls should say f***, sh*t, ****, skoobededoobop, a**hole, bitch, etc, etc, lol

    • I never asked people to quit cursing, but merely pointed out that I think it should be contextual. A bad joke (and I'll admit, not every attempt at humor is a winner) is reason enough to let loose with the cannon. Perhaps you missed the part where she called my face a "brillo pad" FIRST. I didn't really take offense to that, but merely thought she wanted to kid around harshly, which is a game I don't mind playing. Even admitting my humor-fail, she was the one with the first crass comment. Why?

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    • The cursing to me honestly matters less than the fact she had such thin skin. Prior to that point, we were having a great conversation. One remark just derailed her and man alive, there was no way on earth was that train getting back on the track. I honestly feel sad that she probably thinks I thought her looks to be less-than-satisfactory. She huffed and puffed away mad, while all I feel is pity for an angry girl who didn't want to finish what she started. Thin skin!

    • It was a harmless sarcastic joke. A chipmunk with a smile = LIGHT JOKE. Are girls the ones to use jokes on guys, while the guy takes it and kisses her butt with compliments? I can only wonder where the FEMININE girls have gone ... the ones who are caring, funny, and secure enough to enjoy jokes with the opposite gender.

  • society has become more and more vulgar. I will cuss every now and then but I don't like saying sh*t like that in public because well its just not cute but I do cuss every now and then. there's a balance, too much cussing just makes you look ignorant but a few words here and there isn't a big deal. it depends on your setting

    • In general, I'll agree with the being more vulgar period comment.

  • LOL! I love the numbered summary. Pretty accurate too. The average girls tend to be made of stronger "stuff" that the fragile beauties towards whom guys usually tend to migrate. My favorite is "5. When in doubt, see number 1."

    Funny you should mention the brillo pad comment. Guys will laugh something like that off a little more easily than many girls, but they also know to aim at certain comments about a person's looks. For example, my friend M** has a really large sort of nose. Personally, I think it looks good on him because it suits his face. It's pat of a "rugged" look he's got going on. Anyhow, his FB friends made some comments that would have really stung me if they'd been directed my way, but he just laughed it off and called them A***s, then let it drop. He even made it his profile pic on purpose. I asked him if it had hurt his feelings and he just sort of shrugged it off. It's the sort of remark he'd heard since he was a little kid.

    I have a long nose -- yeah, it suits my face now, since I have high cheekbones and "massive eyes," but when I was a kid I'd come home crying because the guys at school would make fun of my nose. If I was on the school steps, they'd sit a few steps under me... "in the shade of that nose" -- I can shake my head about it now and just chalk it up to being stupid kids, but back then it wasn't so funny and I shoved the guy off the school steps (then smoothed out my skirt because I'm a lady, lol). No cursing. ;-)

    My point is that women take things to heart (rather differently than guys might). We're all very expressive in our own way. Some people are demonstrative (baking, playful nudges, turning away) and others are very verbal. The cursing is an unfortunate side thing that's developed as a result of increased sociological expectations -- and, I would say, spending so much time around guys in settings that guys would normally "let loose" and curse...

  • 1. Why are so many young women vulgar?

    While because in my country America the society is vulgar.

    2. Why be so vulgar? Freedom of speech, vulgar society, and probably because she's young. You can't talk to most young people without them cursing. Most guys can't go

    3. Is it too much to ask for girls to cut down on the cursing?

    Is it too much to ask for guys to stop trying to control or 'strongly encourage' the behavior of women with actions that aren't illegal? Probably and American men have generally shown that to be a conclusive yes. People will do what they want and as long as it isn't illegal no need to dictate it.

    "I strongly encourage those ladies out there that are seeking a decent man to stop cursing like sailors. "

    I strongly encourage guys out there that are seeking a beautiful girl to stop expecting her to overlook your lack of physical attractiveness because you're so nice and to be hot or rich. Probably won't happen because people can and will do what they want as long as it's not illegal...or even if it's illegal for some people.

  • I don't necessarily think that is something only women do. And the fact that you do it in private, doesn't change the fact that you do. Some people use slang and curse words as part of conversation, and a way of expressing emotions. It seems that the media has really influenced many people. You hear it in music and movies all the time. I don't think it is viewed as a rude act anymore, but rather a way of expression (whether positive or negative). People don't say dang and shoot, they say f*k and sh*t. I think it would take a large social movement to influence a movement to be more 'polite'. Even you, swearing in private, creates a sense of acceptance. Among your friends, if you do not all share the same beliefs, then how do you know they don't curse in public EVER? If you became close with those girls, and swore around them, how do you know they wouldn't feel it was acceptable everywhere because they heard it from you?

    • Even in private, I don't curse unless I'm very mad. Personally, if a word or phrase becomes so common that it no longer has a meaning, when you really want to use it, it seems to be diluted, no?

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    • I think you might be on to something. On a daily basis, I read a ton. My Kindle is full. Vocab is interesting to me, including swear words. It is just when they are tossed around without any care, it seems like an abuse of language, not just something that might offend someone else.

    • The thing is that it's all perspective. People are raised in a number of different ways. Peer groups and media are what influence youth significantly. What about parents who curse or swear in public? The thing is, the words are said, without explanation. Meaning is taken away from them because of that, and make it much easier to throw in.

  • I speak like a lady 98% of the time. Sometimes, when I get upset..or when I am around my other friends...words slip..But, I try my best to refrain from those words.

  • The logic behind why I curse so much is simply because I do not give a f***. Who is to say f*** is a bad word? It's simply a word that I use to add onto other words for the hell of it. For example, "I want a f***ing iPhone." I don't think that's vulgarity. Society says it's vulgarity and I do not listen to society. If ladies are seeking a decent man for themselves and they curse a lot then a decent man might stand behind her and say "that's my woman." And that's what my man says. Sorry I'm not sorry

  • I curse so much that I don't even realize that I'm cursing, it's just such a normal thing in my life that I happened to pick it up somewhere along the line. It's not that I want to purposefully, it just kind of happens.

    • this is me exactly. Its just a part of how I use words to express what I want. And I think it does have a lot to do with your surroundings. Everyone I know, even after coming to a huge university, seems to be like me. I've actually haven't met anyone I can think of that thinks its strange haha

    • Yeah def, like in my house it's like "where are my f***ing socks"

  • Well I'm not gunna lie, I curse...a lot. My favorite word to say is F*ck. There was a time when I was not like this though. I even swore that I wouldn't curse but now its like its a part of me and how I express myself. And to be honest? It really doesn't matter if you curse or not people are still going to think whatever they want about you. If you think my cursing is offensive too bad so sad. It's me and that's what I do. I still behave like a lady I just happen to be a classy lady with a dirty mouth...when I want it to be. :)

  • I've noticed this too, I cuss usually when I'm around friends , but not in front of authority figures. I talked to my uncle who had just got out of prison and he was cussing every few words and it was just really unnecessary. I don't cuss much, but the cussing I do I've limited it to myself.

  • This issue is in no way exclusive to girls. Curse words and "vulgar" language are becoming more common in general, and it's not necessarily attractive on guys either. It seems to be a change that our culture as a whole is going through, and whether or not you like it, you can't single out girls as the guilty ones. Personally I don't typically swear (in fact to this day I've never said a curse word out loud), and it bothers me when others do without a good reason, regardless of their gender.

    However, even if a girl is very confident, she won't enjoy being insulted. You might think your comment sounds like gentle teasing, but you never know how she'll take it, particularly online where it can be hard to interpret sarcasm and humor. I think you need to get off your high horse here. Telling a girl she looks like a chipmunk is hardly gentlemanly behavior, whether you're kidding or not.

  • Not gonna lie, after you said the girl looked like a chipmunk, I don't exactly blame her for swearing. If someone said I looked like a chipmunk (a rodent!) I would not be pleased.

    • She had just finished teasing my facial hair and said it looked like a brillo pad. I laughed it off as her being sarcastic, while both you and her feel the need to drop in f-bombs? Why? Whatever happened to hitting back with an original line? Sarcasm is about with and thinking quickly on your feet, not getting bent out of shape.

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    • Well, girls are more sensitive about their appearances, or at least, they make it known more than guys do. The difference is that if she did look like a chipmunk, she couldn't change that. You could shave your beard or use conditioner on it if it did, in fact, look like a brillo pad.

    • Your last comment was about as logical and well put an argument as put forth by anyone in this thread. Prior to that with few exceptions, there was an unvarnished rush to defend this girl on what appeared to be girl's EXTREME sensitivity towards looks, even when I was jabbed about mine and didn't care less. What was interesting is that prior to that, looks hadn't even been discussed. Once again, good point and by far the best of any girl so far.

  • i've never cursed, at least out loud or used those bad words... I've said some words not as bad as the F-word and felt really bad about it (like if I've said a sentence with 10 words which 9 of those were f-words...)

  • I try to avoid swearing, but, I won't say I don't swear. There are times that I do, but only when people get me very upset or really angry, which rarely happens.

  • Those girls were hardly cursing excessively lol. They each made one comment, in a whole conversation. If they're swearing every other word I can understand, but to cut down by the amount you're asking is too much, in my opinion. I'd like to be myself around a guy and not have to censor everything I say all the time because he thinks it's not ladylike. Besides, obscenities are often used for emphasis and humor, it's not always to be offensive.

    • My point is that if you curse when there is no particular reason as to why you would insert the curse word into the conversation when it adds nothing too it? It is just unnecessary.

    • It could add emphasis, humor, vehemence, etc. It's a form of expression.

    • 1. Yes.

      2. You didn't specify any context, just the situations you were in, so that's the point of view from which I answered this question. Obviously in a professional setting or something, swearing isn't a good idea.

      3. Not sure what this is about, but it doesn't seem like she had a right to get mad if she made comments about you first.

      4. Sometimes that's true, sometimes not (mostly not). Depends on the girl.

      5. Sure.

  • Why only target women for this? Among my peers, it seems to be just as common (if not more) in men as it is in women. You say we shouldn't do this if we want to date a decent guy... maybe we wouldn't want to date a guy who thinks women shouldn't say certain words. But anyway, I think, among people of all genders, it's common because it expresses anger or gives impact, and they might not care to find a better way of doing so. I personally don't see much wrong with it, because they're just words. But I respect your opinion.

    • You're correct in saying just isn't women. That being said, somehow I get the sneaking feeling that a lot of younger girls like to curse simply because they think that makes them more like "one of the boys" or a "tough girl". It comes off as try-hard and emulating one of men's lesser flaws, which is generally a less regulated mouth.

  • As a potty-mouth person, most of the people I come into contact with don't have a huge problem with swearing. Heck, some of my professors swear occasionally. Sometimes if I'm rambling about something I will forget not to swear & it just slips out.

    Also, I tend to be a more humorous/goofy person & things do sound a lot funnier when you swear. As far as the topic of "speaking like a lady", adult language is for adults so if you're an adult, I don't see what the issue is if you use it for casual speak. I gave on the "classiest woman on Earth" contest that a lot of females compete in a long time ago. It's pointless.

  • I despise guys who instead of paying attention to what I have to say, hold their breaths to hear me make a light remark with a "bad" word. Freedom of speech, and expression!

    Just because you have an image of a perfect coman who does't cuss doesn't mean all woman must limit their vocabulary to please you.

    If it makes us "sexier" in your book, you should consider changing up your book. No woman/girl will change how she talks for you.


  • 6. brillo pads are awesome

  • The goddamn media

  • I never find why people curse when they are making a simple statement or just asking a question. I don't curse like ever and 25% of my friends don't curse at all like me, but the other 75% of my friends just curse like crazy. When they do this I say why are you cursing and if they don't stop cursing then I simply walk away.

    I REALLY hate it when people can say a sentence without adding a curse word. I think it is not a mature thing to do it is immature and rude because you don't know how to speck.

    • I would not call it seeking lady like but speaking like you know how to. It's not that I don't like people that curse (totally not, like I said most of my friends curse) but, I try to avoid cursing.

  • every time I answer a f***ing question on this site it picks the wrong answer...i was trying to say I curse a lot and it decided I was a man... anyways girls curse for the same reason boy do, they heard it growing up and it became part of their vocab, also sometimes it really is the best way to express a feeling, it is all about knowing the appropriate time and place

  • OMG you actually understand lady language good for you

    • Sarcasm, I like it! Vote up for you! :-)

  • Yes it is to much to ask us to do something it is wrong for women to swear but man every other could be a swear and it would be fine

    Welcome to equal rights don't like it don't talk to us or move to a communist country

    • Nobody was suggesting moving, I'll take girls cursing over North Korea any day. Honestly, you aren't all that bad. :-)

  • And why are you trying to chat up 18 year olds

    • I chat up all sorts of people, as I'm very outgoing. As far as dating is concerned, the youngest I've dated is 18, the oldest, 39.

  • There's nothin wrong with cursing. People who have a problem with it are too up tight

  • There's different situations when it's slightly more appropriate. But in general I don't like it. I can't stand people that cuss every other word. I slip up occasionally, but I try to to even cuss around my friends. I think it makes someone a lot harder to respect if they can't control their language.

    • try to *not cuss around my friends.

  • I think its their way to caught more attention and I guess they feel fab doing it.

  • is it too much to ask for guys to cut down on the cursing? it's not just girls open your F***ING eyes :) really speak like a lady? WOW how about guys speak like gentlemen. stop focusing this on young women because every gender and race does it. as for people in general using profanity when unnecessary, I'm guessing that is due to our language disintegrating into nothing more than slang. uneducated or their environment such as their parents(if they cuss a lot) they have to pick it up somewhere

  • yeah I guess some girls do but don't generalize. I rarely use bad language. the ONLY reason I'd ever do it is when someone insults me or offends me or puts me down... then I let them see what I think about it ;)

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What Guys Said 8

  • sh*t, I clicked "i curse a lot" lmao I didn't see (men click here) foook I feel like a tard

    • why would you admit that lol now we all know the moron who did it! hahaha jk

    • lol I don't care...i messed up, oh well

      thumbs down from someone too? really...lmao people are strange hahahaahahha

    • at least I wasn't the guy who voted "i speak like a lady" LMFAO

  • I've noticed this and agree with everything you said... I've concluded that a lot of young people think it's cool.

    Ya know what I think would be cool? A girl who is beautiful and all that, but actually acts like a lady and shows a more developed sense of character, and that she's different than all the rest... Definitely the kind of woman I want to get to know...

    • DItto.

      Women who curse a lot strike me as crass and unrefined. As a wise man once said, “Profanity is the weapon of the witless.”

    • *bbbbuuuurrrrrppppp*

      just kidding... XD

    • Haha, I can most definitely deal with burping... ;)

  • Hey there TheDigitalStaint. Here is what a 19 year old chick I know had to say.

    "Tell him to chill the f*** out f***ing hell I'll say whatever I damn please and if he doesn't like it he can suck d*** f*** man f*** f***."

  • Pfft. A word is nothing more than a meaningless sequence of sounds. Meaning and connotation are deciphered upon contextualization. So "bad words" are a myth. A word cannot have a motivation nor a desire - it's all about how you say it.

    Plus, chicks who say and do what they want are sexy.

  • Wow. I haven't heard something like this in a long time now. I don't know the word in English, but the concept is "machista" in Spanish, that's the opposed concept to a feminist. Looks like an opinion from someone who lived in the XIX century, when women were thought as property of men (by men of course) still and men dictated the forms. "girls need to talk nice and behave themselves"; "Men should only curse when appropriate".

    What the hell is wrong with you dude? Humans are humans regardless of their gender and there's nothing wrong with expressing your ideas with whatever language you use. Those words you don't like constitute a part of your language as well, and they express very specific concepts. Why not use them? what's so wrong about them?

    Here are my opinions on your two examples.

    1. That was just an expression. Yes, she could have used other words, but she probably didn't mean any offense, just expressed herself.

    2. You called her a chipmunk? I mean, you compared her to a tiny animal, or to the annoying animated version of that animal? Come on dude...there's no way that can sound as something nice unless she knows you well enough to understand you intended it to be cute.

    As long as you see the universe parted in MALE and FEMALE as opposed to just one thing with two equal parts, you won't get stuff like this

  • Why are people so easily offended?

    It's a f***ing word. Get over it.

    • It's not a matter of being offensive as much as it just being unattractive. Not classy...

    • I find vulgarity very attractive. And why is vulgarity not classy? Because classy people are defined as pretentious snobs that get offended at the most trite things?

  • If I said a girl looked like a chipmunk, it would be because I find her fairly attractive. For me to say that, it would be a compliment. There's no need to just randomly lash out like that in that case. Even if she takes the comment offensively, she still could've responded in a much more civilized manner to express her emotions. It's one thing to cuss out of pain or longing frustration with something; it's another thing to cuss when arguing with a person. All cussing does during an argument is show someones immaturity and possibly lack of intelligence.