"The one who cares least, has the most power." Do you agree with this in a relationship?

I'm not sure myself.

I was talking with my friend the other day, Valentine's day, since I had plenty of time to think, so I started a conversation with him.

He told me "The one who cares least, has the most power. Well in a relationship.", I'm no expert on relationships. Not by far, so I thought about this and I guess. It could be true in a sense, but then I started to think its just utter non-sense.

So, I'm curious. What do you all think?

(Yes, I know I'm asking a lot of questions lately. I just appreciate others' minds).

  • It's true.
    65% (69)67% (47)66% (116)Vote
  • It's not true.
    14% (15)17% (12)15% (27)Vote
  • I'm not sure.
    21% (22)16% (11)19% (33)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I have to be honest. A lot of these answers, give a whole new view on the words. I guess its not utter non-sense, but its not totally true either.


Most Helpful Girl

  • A - personal perspective of this is because the person who cares more or is more besotted will make more effort in the relationship to keep the other happy, therefore the other person has more power to get their way at times or even call quits to the relationship. There would need to be quite a big divide between the person who cares least and the one that cares alot. Where there is a close balance i.e. one cares a little more than the other, I don't think this rule applies. The most successful relationships are those where there is compromise between two people and a strike of the right balance.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Why would you get in a relationship with someone who didn't care about you the same way you cared about them?

    Well take for example my husband and his ex. She cared about the relationship and having sex, doing things and wanting to do things with him. He cared about the relationship having sex and that's it. He cared the LEAST and she cared MORE about having sex and DOING THINGS. Well she got sick of it so she went and cheated on him. So she cared more about the relationship and he cared less so that's why she DUMPED HIM.

  • Oh god yes, totally and absolutely agree. They can let go whenever they want and the don't go through the same pain and suffering they do. I once asked a guy I thought had life pretty easy when dealing with relationships and he never got angry or worked up over anything and he said: "i just learned to stop caring." I'm not saying this is the ideal way to live cause I do believe these people are missing out on a lot as emotions give you a sense of happiness and satisfaction. When you care deeply for someone, the emotion that comes with it gives one a deep sense of happiness, even if for that moment alone. Its worth living and getting hurt over. But those who don't care as much definitely have the power in the relationship as they have an easy come easy go notion and they don't take matters to heart.

  • As much as this shouldn`t be true , it is . It`s mostly just because the person who cares more is more willing to bend over backwards for the other person to make them happy . They won`t cross they other person because they don`t want to lose them . And a lot of the time the more ''powerful'' person will take advantage of this . It`s a terrible world , it really is .

  • I think this is true. It might hurt but it's what usually happens. When you really like someone & they act this way, you're torn because you like them, but it seems as if they don't care, and then they do something that gets you to crawl right back to them, is that not what you call power? I know it's manipulative & wrong, but that doesn't mean that the person has more control then the other one. If you have a strong hold on yourself, then no it won't be true. But otherwise, you might just fall right into it.

  • Nope, that's how you keep out pain, but that's also how you keep out love.

    To me, relationships are not about power. I don't have a need or desire to maintain power or leverage in a relationship. I think if you do then there's probably something inside of you that makes you desire that power. Maybe you were hurt in the past or abused or you just have some serious control issues. Otherwise why not simply enjoy the loveliness of give and take?

    I agree with you that it's nonsense and that may make someone FEEL powerful, but that's fragile power. Yeah, it gives you an advantage in the way that if things don't work out, you didn't get attached. But it really is better to have loved and lost than live life never knowing what it's like to love and be loved. At least if you've loved, you know what it's like instead of sitting around having a partial dream about it

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What Guys Said 14

  • Healthy relationships aren't about power. If a partner is cynical enough to use emotional neglect as a weapon, that relationship is totally on the skids.

  • Yes, this is very true. It is even more true if you are the man. So many guys make the mistake of caring too much about what girls think of them. Although it is completely politically incorrect, the girls that have fallen hardest for me (and just about all guys in general) are the ones that I've been more aloof with. In short, girls like to win the hearts (or die trying) of the un-winable man. The common refrain is "I will make him love me!". Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

  • the one that "cares the least" is the one that gets walked away from when the other one gets tired of their bullsh*t. They seem to have power at first, but then the one that is being door-matted hopefully wises up, walks away, then the "less-caring one" realizes how idiotic they were and have lost everything.

    "and the least shall become the greatest"

  • In the short run, I could vote "true"

    but in the long run, it's the one with the most love to share that commands the most power.

    Obviously one would give in and give power more easily to another ...that loves him/her higher than any other.

  • I would like to reword it to say that The one who can most easily move on, has the most power. It sounds like it means the same thing but it doesn't. Being in a better position to move on doesn't mean you care less. It could simply mean you have your life in order, you have a strong support network, or you're just plain mentally stable while your partner isn't.

    The point is there comes a point in every failing relationship where it becomes obvious that there's no place it can go but end it. And when one of the partners refuses to admit that, refuses to admit that they are only hurting themselves by trying to mend this unhealthy relationship, yes. That person has no power over the relationship or their own lives.

    • That's not really the question. But it's good thinking.

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