My boyfriend monitors my friends list of Facebook. Is this strange or normal for a boyfriend to do?

[Anonymous]

I didn't have that problem with my ex because he didn't have a Facebook. My boyfriend, like, I don't know if he constantly checks it but whenever someone adds me and I accept the request he'll go "So I see you added *Insert name here*. Who's that?" He does it EVERY TIME someone adds me. Guy or girl. He gets jealous extremely easily and is a bit protective.

It's just kind of annoying because I feel like he's looking into it more than he should, like he's getting jealous that I accepted a friend request.

Guys, do you do this? Is it normal?

[JustChris]

To put it short and simple: It is strange, abnormal, and that type of doing will countlessly annoy/irritate the crap out of you. This relationship between you and him is literally UNHEALTHY. He's not the guy you should date trust me. He's not ready for a relationship either.

He's very jealous, protective, and clingy. Maybe even insecure or a bit obsessive. Those kind of traits lead to someone who is controlling. It seems to me like he doesn't trust you and trust is a huge key in a relationship. If there is no trust then there is no us, right? He's not the kind of guy you would have a long term relationship with trust me. He is not confident enough in his own abilities as a boyfriend that he has to keep track of you. I can see that this relationship isn't going to last because he's not going to change his ways (most definitely won't) and he's not respecting your space and privacy (you have a right). You're suppose to treat each other as equals, not one way or the other and he's not doing that.

[Zerokoool]

This is called insecurity and it's probably the least attractive thing a man could be. If he doesn't feel like your relationship is strong enough that you are only interested in him then you could try doing a few small things here and there to raise his confidence. A compliment here, a random text "I miss you" there, and an extra long hug every now and then;l assuming you aren't already doing that.

If you're already doing all you can and he's still being insecure then It's really up to you whether you want to put up with it. Checking your Fb friends is the same as checking your phone, or checking your mail. It's a huge invasion of privacy. I would never do that to my girlfriend. He really should have a little faith in the women he chose to open up to.

[Anonymous]

I would see that as a warning sign. I went through a hard time convincing my ex boyfriend I'm loyal to him throughout our 7 years together until I decided enough is enough. It's tiring trying to reassure an insecure guy again and again. This is only people you add in FB. Someday some friends will tag your picture having fun with a bunch of people including some other guys and that would trigger something within he can't control. Jealousy. It happened to me and that's how the breakup period started. Anyway, maybe your boyfriend was just curious but if it bothers you, try talking to him and asking him if it matters that you have friends adding you in FB. If he gets defensive, I would think hard about this relationship... Next it's your phone, emails etc. Talk to him. It's possible he just don't know you well enough yet. Once he understand you more, he will be fine.

[itslo]

To me that would just get annoying if there is trust there is no need for jealousy.

[EverythingReal]

Not normal. he seems paranoid and having some sort of trust issues.

[hhH2traveler]

I dont do that, i also dont have a facebook, but if i did i might browse her page occasionally, its always good to have an understanding of who her friends are, but i wouldn't go wild and make her feel worried by always reminding her I’m checking on what she's doing. If I’m curious I might ask “who is that” but I wouldn't say it in anything but an interested way, I wouldn't make it seem like she has a responsibility to tell me, unless I was worried.

[acat321]

not normal. ugh I couldn't stand that

[smilingallthetime]

um its actually quite normal

[antonlikesmlb]

Not normal.