Do guys get mad when girls talk about getting free stuff from other guys?

Question

like I'm not saying I'm a user or anything but me and my friends don't like to spend our money on drinks and food (I got rent and school stuff that pretty much takes up all my money) so when we go out we always find guys to pay for our stuff. sometimes we talk to them sometimes we just leave. it depends on if there alright or sketch. but whenever one of my friends talks about going to do this in front of my sorta boyfriend (its complicated) he makes these jokes like were such users and stuff. and I mean I just feel like that's how it is when your a girl. I know were not the only girls out here doing this so what is the big deal. he is an attractive guy and he knows this, he could easily get some older ladies to be buying him stuff if he wanted (at least this is what he tells me) so why does he have to make jokes all the time about it.

so guys my question is does it bother you that girls sometimes use guys at bars/clubs to get free stuff?

and my question for the girls is have you ever done this? and do you feel bad afterwards?

jdcpa · Accepted Answer

Well, as far as the girl being out there and talking about how she gets free stuff from guys, or how she consciously tries to get free stuff from guys, that doesn't make me have negative feelings towards that girl. On the other hand, I do face palm on the inside at the thought of how retarded whatever guys she's talking about are, and how bad I feel that there are guys out there like that.

Now, as far as her saying something retarded like "my friends don't like to spend our money on drinks and food (I got rent and school stuff that pretty much takes up all my money)," or "he makes these jokes like were such users and stuff. and I mean I just feel like that's how it is when your a girl. I know were not the only girls out here doing this so what is the big deal."

As to the first comment, an appropriate sarcastic response would be: "Obviously! It's not like guys make a finite amount of money in a given time period. Plus, it's not like a guy's expenses include rent and school stuff, or their own drinks and food. Duh! Everyone knows men live on air, and are just money making machines that are abundantly present to pay for any woman's drinks and food, in order to free up her budget so she can allocate it to things like her rent, school, clothes, iPhone, and taking care of herself." A girl who thinks that way is going to repel quality guys from her life, and doom herself to a life of being nothing more than a vagina for hire, or lonely crazy cat lady lol.

As to the second comment, the principle you are advocating for, or at least using to justify something, is: "if many people do something, then that something is not wrong, in fact, that something must be right, otherwise, why would so many people do it?" You know, like murder, or rape, or robbery, or white collar crime, or cheating on taxes, or discrimination, or using girls just for sex by lying to them, or using guys for free stuff by leading them on or lying to them. Right? It's the same exact principle, with a wide variety of applications.

Well, I guess that girl would probably not score too high on her LSAT, if she genuinely believed what she claims is her actual thought process. That's what's going through my mind lol.

Prof_Don · Accepted Answer

If a guy offers you a drink at a bar...its a sign of his interest in you.

You accepting the drink, is you fueling and reciprocating his interest.

He will show more interest and continue to flirt with you and display his interest.

-----

Unless you tell him when he offers you a drink that you're "taken"...you're signaling interest in him.

THAT is what your boyfriend doesn't like; a girl that is his, fueling interest in other men instead of shutting them down politely.

Now I do get your point, QA; you want to save some dollars by accepting whatever freebie alcohol you can get.

You can save your dollars, or you can keep this boyfriend that you have. Frankly, you're gonna have to make a choice between one of these two, before he makes the choice for you and drops you.

Can't do both.

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

yeah because guys have really strong empathy for other men and don't like to think of another guy getting used. it's kinda like how some girls would feel if we heard a guy bragging about using girls for sex.

Maybe it's just because I'm a girl, but I see nothing wrong with what you're doing. It's less than $10 drink, these guys are not going to be crying in the morning because they bought a girl a drink and she didn't suck his d*** afterward. Big deal lol and I'm SMH at some of these girls in here getting mad. Most guys would use the f*** out of you and not feel bad about it, but yall are in here getting mad at QA for getting free drinks from guys.

lolo92 · Accepted Answer

equal relationships ? eem..no no no ...no such thing !...ehmm..well your doing fine, its just don't ask guys you don't know like to pay for stuff ( like drinks and meals sure but nah beyond dat)..i only do that with my bfs ( gifts that really hit the pocket) hun they are there for a reason..lol so I say go for it..as long as you and your girls are safe. its normal believe me, sooooooo normal to get guys to get you stuff cos I ve been der ;) and nope I don't feel bad at all..My time is more valuable than any gold necklace or ipad he bought me ..i deserved it -_- yes I think like so lol

peace~

3336PS · Accepted Answer

Well, back in university, my very good friend who is Ethopian. She is so beautiful, guys always offer her rides, food, drinks. She is very modest and rejected most offers. It is important for girls to have respect for others and themselves. Taking for free is not okay. Even though the guys offered, you should always be appreciative and say thank you and hope to return a favor, not necessarily sexually. But a nice smile, chat with him get to know him and if you are not interested, tell him. No games and be nice.

landingsight · Accepted Answer

I think if you're intentionally chatting guys up to get free food or drinks out of them (EVERY TIME you go out?), that's pretty reprehensible. Granted, if I'm out somewhere and somebody offers to buy me a drink, I'd accept it, but I would never, ever go up to someone and ask them to buy me something. That makes you seem extremely entitled, and feeds the idea that women exist only to leech money off of guys. So, for Christ's sake, be a grown-up woman and buy your own drinks.

jamaall89 · Answer

I think you guys are biting her head off unnecessarily. Sure, there are some 'users' out there, but I don't think bunnyfrancis qualifies. But yeah, if you like a girl, you buy her things. And I have no sympathy for any guy who throws his money away on a girl he meets at a bar. Probably serves him right.

I am assuming you're American. Just remember, U.S. culture is changing. Women are becoming more independent, and a lot of younger guys actually like that. As a result, sometimes we will get the impression that you are trying to mooch off of us because the standards are changing. Younger guys sort of expect women to have their own source of income in the U.S. now. You're in school though, so you have an excuse.

So once again, lets be real people. Bars and clubs are designed for people to 'use' each other. You should be smart enough to expect that. As for the OP, you have nothing to be ashamed of. However, I do question your taste in men if you go to bars a lot. Anyways, I thought you were being nice and asking an honest question.

stubbsy · Answer

Girls that do this are looking for trouble, because most guys will always accommadate a girl with a drink when in company, but they would refuse if they knew the girl was just out to get a freebie, so this behavior is really uncalled for, show an interest in a guy and allow him to buy you a drink, but don't be false about your intentions, because if you have no interest apart from what's in his wallet, then your showing that your worth is lower than the side walk piss that stinks out the street, every girl should offer to get a rou in, it should be left up to the guy to accept or refuse, but he should never be expected to buy you a drink just because you show him some false attention, this is just shallow and cheap.

Maxen92 · Answer

If a girl walks up to me and basically asks me to give her a drink or something, I'll order it. Then I take the drink and drink it up in front of her (usually pretty fast).

When I am done, I most of the times say something like this:

"Sorry, but you're going to have to try harder"

She usually becomes shocked, and it's a very amusing sight indeed.

OpenClose · Answer

Well, see, you're taking advantage of his generosity in order to not have to pay your own way.

It's like a middle-class person roughing themselves up and going on the street asking for change, because he doesn't want to buy his own soda.

There was a woman who would go on dates with men every day for a month on the assumption that they would pay, so that she wouldn't have to spend her own money on her food. Any decent person would know that that behavior is just deplorable.

JennaMarbles does:

aMuse · Answer

It's not a joke... He doesn't like that you are doing it, thus why he keeps bring it up... Just because you can get away with something doesn't mean it's in good taste. Then talking about it with other guys on top of it just makes you look bad.

I suppose it would be like if a guy went and talked to a bunch of girls and he was like yeah I was banging this chick the other night. I told her I love her and all, I can't believe she believes that crap what a little slut. She's a good little sex puppet... Nice and gullible. I'm sure that would go over great with the ladies in casual conversation...

TheDigitalSaint · Answer

You should be ashamed of taking freebies from guys when you have an sorta-boyfriend or whatever you want to call it. You have a boyfriend, even if he's considered "sorta". Guys are offering you free stuff because they think you are available. You're not telling them the truth by telling them you are "sorta" committed. That's deceptive. That $10 drink times many girls over the course of a year means that guy is out of a lot of money. If you and other girls don't want to be objectified sexually, you can't expect to see men as wallets that walk around for you own benefit. You seriously need to examine your behavior and ask if you'd like to be viewed as more than a pair of t*ts and ass. Respect is a two-way street.

htowngeorge · Answer

I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you're not leading the guy buying your drinks and things on if he's thinking he has a chance at being more than a friend. In other words as long as it's on the line and he knows soon enough that you're not interested in him that way. If he just wants to spend his money for a girl that he likes or maybe to gain simply friendship it's fine, let him. Just remember otherwise and don't lead him on because he may have things like his own rent to pay for like you do.

Scoopie · Answer

Read what you just wrote:

" me and my friends don't like to spend our money on drinks and food"

you are trying to get things for free. Clearly you look for guys that will give it to you, and you basically just use them - there's no other explanation here. Those guys probably try to be nice and hope you like them or something.

Your type is exactly the reason why I never offer girls a drink in a bar, unless I'm dating her.

No matter how little I got to spend, I'm not going to scout around for girls that will give me stuff for free. I'm not a leech. When I want extra money, I do extra work and get paid for it.

I could just rob someone on the street, but I'm not going to. I could jump of the Empire State building, but I'm not going to. I could do a lot of things, but some things I don't do.

superdudeman · Answer

Do girls get mad when guys talk about how they manipulated women into putting out?

"like I'm not saying I'm a user or anything "

"so when we go out we always find guys to pay for our stuff."- this suggests that you are.

If one of your goals going out is to find guys to buy you things, then it suggests you are a user.

((I got rent and school stuff that pretty much takes up all my money)

Being poor does not justify theft.

"I know were not the only girls out here doing this"

Just because one person is doing something bad does not entitle another to do the same.

" he could easily get some older ladies to be buying him stuff if he wanted"

False.

Its much harder for men to use women for money regardless of how good-looking they are.

Women are just not as looks focused and easily manipulated by looks as men are.

"so guys my question is does it bother you that girls sometimes use guys at bars/clubs to get free stuff?"

No one likes to be used for any reason. Male or female.

AndyWes · Answer

Girls probably get a kick out of getting guys to pay for them and buy them stuff, both for saving money and the attention. Smart guys look at those guys and think "what idiots..." and then they look at the girls who do that and think "wow, what sleazy girls, I'm glad I'm smart enough to not get used like that."

bDizzie · Answer

Hey if you can find a sucker who will pay for you then more power to you! However, I never buy girls drinks because I don't let myself get used.

Oh and I also got rent and school stuff that takes up most of my money.

7gnat · Answer

Of course you are using men and you should feel great about it. If others are doing it then of course it makes it the perfect thing to do. The new American way is to take what is not yours or use and lie to get it. I rated your question 5 stars! Keep up the good work and be a Kardashian someday and make your family proud.

abzence · Answer

I never buy drinks to people I don't know so it doesn't really matter.

But I think it's pretty sad that you see most guys as walking wallet that you are free to use.

But we are all different.

Some are always looking for what they can get from people while others what they can give.

Surferfer · Answer

you're a joke, love trolling girls like you, come back with a drink pretend I slip and spill it all over you then walk off. no respect what so ever and your lucky your boyfriend tolerates seeing you do this sh*t. your boyfriend probably pays for everything you do out of the clubs because you have no sense of responsibility. get a job and get some money.

superdudeman · Answer

I don't think you'd be asking this question if you didn't feel at least a little guilt in your actions.

I think you should listen to that little voice in your head that's telling you what you are doing is wrong.

kheserthorpe · Answer

Basically, we consider women who do this to be manipulative bitches.  I'd have zero respect for them and zero pity if they got lied to and manipulated by a guy.

honeyltsme · Answer

I would not take this personally - however I would seriously lower my opinion of a girl that whores her time for free meals. I mean I might still be with her and be nice to her but my long terms prospects for her would vaporize.

Grace00007 · Answer

I've never done it. I can imagine you would feel kind of guilty inside for those poor boys. I'm too much of a believer in karma to do that.

Plus nobody ever offers me free stuff anyways. So yeah that's what's going on over here #singlecatowner

regenderate · Answer

Some random guy buying things for a lady I'm with isn't a serious issue.

Frustration · Answer

Just comes to show you that women only want equality when it benefits them You want money for food? GET YOUR BUTT OUT THERE AND EARN IT like most people do!

Do guys get mad when girls talk about getting free stuff from other guys?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do guys get mad when girls talk about getting free stuff from other guys?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.