There is a guy I have been seeing and he told me initially he doesn't want a relationship with me. I asked him again and he still did not. I cut things off between us, but we started talking again and I told him that I can't do this game anymore, I need stability. He said he was never interested in... Show More
Most Helpful Guy
I'll give you my experience with my current girlfriend.
We met about a year ago, and were nothing more than friends. I assumed she was actually single the whole time because she mentioned that she had just gotten out of a bad relationship, but apparently they got back together at some point. I was single at that time as well, but was talking with another girl whom I ended up getting into a relationship with a couple weeks later.
We continued to be friends and talk often, and she broke up with her boyfriend around February. Again, I didn't even know they got back together, so I didn't know this. I broke up with my girlfriend in April. Her relationship lasted 4 years, mine lasted 4 months. Anyway, afterward we continued to talk, and got together and hung out. She expressed multiple times an interest in wanting to date me. Eventually I gave in and said we could give things a try.
She said she didn't want a relationship. I asked why, and she said she could tell I wasn't ready. Fast forward another month later and I said I was feeling ready, and she said she wasn't, which didn't make much sense to me because she seemed to be earlier. As it turned out, she had been hiding the fact that she was still not over her ex. She was just unavailable because of that, and she hid it well for months. Then eventually it culminated and she had a breakdown. She turned to me in this breakdown.
Now, though, she sees herself as over him, they've not had any contact in a long time, and she said just a week and a half ago she was ready for the next step with me. The entire time I was fighting to get her, she was reciprocating feelings, making it seem as though she wanted me, but she kept that distance of not starting a relationship. She was also dating other guys, I knew that. We were just friends who had some dates form time to time. But she ended all those others and finally chose to move forward with me.
So, perhaps the guy really isn't interested. Or perhaps he is, but he's fighting something inside that he's hiding, and until he's done with that battle, he'll be unavailable. Your choice is to either let go or to give it time to see what the real issue is - is he not interested, or is he just not ready at this time.