My boyfriend earns more money than me & makes me feel sh*t about it

Ok so I gave up my high earning job in London to move North & live with my fiancé. Now I can't get the same job with the same high earnings up here & since I been here have been struggling to find the right job and have not been earning very much money at all. My fiancé is pretty much a millionaire earning £XXX, XXX a month. We are living in a house rent paid for by his company so we only need to cover bills & food BUT he has supported both of us since I been not earning any money. I've pulled my weight in the house, cooked everyday etc. Now I've found the right job BUT it still will never meet his earnings. MIGHT I ADD HE works from home while I go out 5dats a week. He thinks he has the right to speak to me like I'm a piece of s***t! He calls me the 'LODGER' , I'm NOT allowed any say-so in the house, he is allowed to have things of his own but if I say something is mine than he goes MAD & says until I contribute something to the house than it isn't mine! Everyday he orders furniture/decor online for the house and again I been holding off until I settle into a job & can afford these things but now it's too late cos the whole house is pretty much done & I've not been allowed any part of it! He bosses me around & the house is too expensive for me he digs at me because I can match even half the cost of it. HONESTLY I WOULD LOVE to live in a smaller cheaper house if it meant we could afford it together and decorate it together making decisions together & call it ours cos I'm a woman and I LOVE decorating! But I feel so left out & so behind & so incapable of ANYTHING! And HATE that it gives him PERMISSION to SWEAR at me & BULLY ME & DISRESPECT ME! Please give advice & opinions cos I would to know what I can do to improve this situation?

IT'S GREAT TO HEAR PEOPLE'S response & advice to my situation ! He makes. Me feel powerless as I haven't been able to contribute at all yet but then I remind myself we are not struggling & wen we go shopping for food I really don't take the piss...I make a basic shopping list of only the things we need & I pick up all the special offers. But now I'm working I will be able to contribute now. He took the piss as well cos I've just started to teach dance classes but not making any money yet :/
He said if we wanted to place a bet each week to how many people turn up it might make me earn more money !


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds to me that this guy thinks that money equals human value. Just because you have money doesn't mean that you can treat others like dirt. He should be grateful that you gave up your previous job and moved with him. If I had his kind of money then money would be the least of my concerns. I would use the money to bring support instead of a weapon against.

    He is obviously using money as some kind of power trip and for an excuse to dominate and abuse you mentally. He probably has a very low self-esteem and if you would take away all his money he would completely lose himself and his sense of worth as a human being.

    In your situation I would ask him if he thinks that just because he has more money than you he also has more value as a human being. If he says "Yes" I would leave. If he says "no" then you reply with "Then why do you treat me like I'm worthless?"

    This would be the end or the beginning of a long conversation about human value, compassion and what love really is about. Money should not in the equation.