I made a sex video with an ex boyfriend who has now shown them at multiple parties is there anything I can do?

I made a sex video with an ex boyfriend, when we broke up he threatened to release them, but we came to a civil agreement and I watched him delete the video. He actually saved the video in his email, and is now showing it at parties. Is there anything I can do about it at all? Just to get him to stop showing it to people?

I realize it was a stupid idea and I never should have trusted him, but we all make mistakes. And I'm just trying to handle the consequences the best I can.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think that's legal. He can't show your private stuff to others without your consent. Personally, I would talk to him first to stop this sh*t, but if he doesn't, go to the police or get a lawyer. You have rights.

    Or, do you know his parents? I wonder what his dad would think of his behavior...

    Your mistake was to trust him, but that doesn't grant him the right to publicly humiliate you.

    • I've tried to be civil with him, and come to an agreement but he refuses, and states he'll show whoever the f*** he wants. I've also spoken to the police and they told me to seek legal advice, and they would speak to him also.

      I will speak to his parents. I know what I did with him, making a video was bad, but if I were his parents I would be ashamed of how he is handling things. I was raised to never kiss and tell, so I hope his parents can influence him to do the right thing.

      Thank you.

What Guys Said 6

  • Go to the police and take him to civil court.

    • I talked to the police and they recommended speaking to a lawyer, and also getting a restraining order since he's done other acts against me also.

      Thank you for the advice.

    • Im very glad that you did that. I'm sorry to hear about what happened. What he did was wrong and he shouldn't had been showing the video like that.Im glad your getting the restraining order against him.

  • Girls put way too much trust in douchebag boyfriends >.>...

    Anyway idk, google/research if it's illegal. It's without your consent so you could even call your local police dept. and ask if there is anything you can do.

    • I'm aware I put too much trust in him, and I've learned my lesson. I've contacted the police and have started doing my research. It was consensual so I'm a little screwed on that part. But it can go in to blackmail and slander.

      Thank you.

    • Yeah if someone was to get into his email and delete everything people would probably have it saved anyway, getting legal is the best outcome I think.

  • Learn a lesson and don't made more videos.

    • I have learned my lesson. It will never happen again.

  • Where is this video you speak of?

    Not like I want to watch it or anything but I have to know what you're taking about here...

    • From what I know, the video is being played off of his phone. He is going around to different groups at parties and showing it to people.

  • One would hope not. I hope this would serve as a lesson to all other girls yet many of them keep doing it anyway saying "well, this guy surely wouldn't do that to me" and even that sounds too sophisticated for most of them.

    How many of the guys that he showed it to wanted to sleep with you? Had to be some trying to make that move. How many of them wanted to date you after knowing that a video of some other guy drilling you is fresh on everyone's mind?

    • I have most definitely learned my lesson.

      And his goal was to ruin my reputation, and he showed it to the guy I am dating now. So you're exactly right, he no longer wants to date me.

What Girls Said 5

  • You can obviously try talking to him again. Try getting on his good side so you can at least talk him out of posting it on the internet or continuing to show it around.

    If that doesn't work, you can always try talking to the police and explain the situation to them. After all, he does not have your permission to show it to other people.

    It really is terrible of him to do such a thing to you. But karma is a bitch!

    I hope you figure out a way to stop this douche bag!

    Good luck!

    • I've tried talking and being civil. That's how I got the videos deleted the first time, but I was stupid to believe he actually deleted anything. I've spoken to him again and his response to me was "I don't give a f*** what you want, they're my videos, I'll show everyone"

      I've spoke to the police this morning and they've warned him and taken it as far as they can. But they said I'll have to go to the courthouse on Monday and see where I can go once I present the case.

      Thank you.

  • The best way I will think of dealing with it is either one tell the police or two humiliated him by putting his man power down. Make him feel he wasn't even good or something like that.

    • I have to wait till Monday to get more legal advice. But that's the direction I'm going.

      If I were him, I'd be embarrassed of my sexual skill in the video, it was about a minute long from start to finish.

      Thank you for the advice.

  • That is a hard way to learn your lesson.

    • I've most definitely learned my lesson.

  • I don't know about this but maybe try to get a copyright or artistic rights to the video since you are in it. Then he has to pay you every time he shows it or you find out he has shown it. It would take away from the thrill for him. It's worth a shot. If it makes you feel better I was filmed against my consent, in my own room while I was by myself. This was guy I was not even involved with just a friend. Then the guy tried to blackmail me with it. I said no so he said he uploaded it to some p*rn sites.

    • I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope karma comes back around and bites him. No one deserves something like that.

      I'll look into the artistic rights thing, I never thought of something like. I would just prefer for the video to completely disappear all together.

      Thank you.

    • Thanks.

      It bothered me at first but now I feel it's just nudity and me enjoying myself. It's not a big deal if anyone II know sees it.

  • As far as I know you can definitely charge him. As long as you didn't consent .. he will get sued.

    • That's my issue, is it was consented. So I'm still looking at my options.

      Thank you.

    • Show All
    • No I didn't consent to him showing it to anyone. It was meant to be private.

    • you have the right to pursue him.