When I first meet a girl I like and have some sort of a starting point, I'm starting to get nervous that I somehow will fail to take this to a good place. I think when I should call the girl, how I should behave, conversation topic, when is the first time I should kiss the girl etc. It can get me absorbed in the process too much that it affects my work and life. Because I worry to much I give high value to the girl and I get attached to her even before I know her well. it makes me act weird sometimes and it ruins my potential relationships. How often do you think about a new guy/girl that you meet, how do you avoid giving them too much importance early on in the process?
Most Helpful Girl
Well, in my current relationship, we shared these things. Anything we were concerned about.
When it comes to other stuff, we're just ourselves because we know we want the other to love us for ourselves. If they wouldn't now, it would be revealed eventually regardless, so why hide yourself and end up feeling awkward around them. Then you that who you really are is who they really care for. (; If I feel awkward, I just remember to take it day by day and enjoy the present. If it ends later, then it will and you can absorb hurt then, but don't ruin a good thing out of fear of her not accepting you, give her all of you. If she doesn't appreciate it, she wasn't for you. You'll find yourself along the way, accept yourself, and others will just as well. Don't concern yourself with the judgement of those who don't know how to value and love all of you.
But as for other stuff, when my current boyfried and I were in the early scary stages of falling...I told him about how afraid I was of getting hurt out of it all. That I trusted him but I was still working on trusting the future in general. We learned to devote ourselves as a team to be loving and appreciative and accepting. It sounds so cheesy written like that...we didn't use those words...it's just the best way to describe it. We listen to each other. He's the firs boyfried who is genuinely tuned in and knows how to recognize when I'm frozen in embarrassment and warmly hug me and tell me how much I matter to him knowing that's what I need. Gradually, it built security that I don't have to behave a certain way for him to love me and treat me well. (I've had very controlling exes with anger problems and conditional love)
Because we reveal our insecurities, we know each others, and are thus able to recognize when to throw in some support. As security grew, our fears and walls dropped, leaving us happy, content, and comfortable trusting each other.
It's a like a circle. (;