What is her issue with me?

Me and this girl got really close over these past six months. We work together at a small part time job so I have known of her for the past year and a half but never talked to her. We started talking to each other one day about our former relationships and we had a lot in common. She was left one... Show More

Most Helpful Girl

  • Do move on. You treated her respectfully, kindly, and selflessly. Once she felt insecure a tiny bit, she started showing her true colors. She doesn't have any problem with you, no matter what she says. She's just insecure and needy. She liked the emotional support and the self sacrifice you gave her. But for it to work she needs to sacrifice her selfishness, too, and she's not ready to do that.

    Don't blame yourself. You truly didn't do anything terrible to her, but she does want to manipulate you for attention, devotion, and affection. So don't give those to her. Treat her as respectfully as you always have and continue to be kind and wise about interacting with her. But don't pursue her. You've already done that and she let you know that she'll only accept you as long as she can control you. A healthy relationship needs two people willing to give themselves and display honesty, caring, and selflessness. In this situation there's only one of you.

    She will make your life more miserable if she suspects she's lost total control of you, and she may come crawling back with what seems like a sweet innocent girl. But it won't last because that's not all of her. Do both of you a favor and find someone who is mature and who will treat you with the respect you must have a good relationship.

    • When I did get mad I sad somethings that werent intentionally to be mean but were interrpreted that way. I found out later that what I said made her very upset and cry. I saw a picture of her and her friends and you could see the makeup running down her cheeks. I can agree with the insecurity and needy part. She was there most of the time for me when I needed it. And I wasn't always there for her, I purposely did it to prevent an open neediness when all I wanted was to be there.

    • I wasn't always the nicest back to her either. Most of the time I did it jokingly but she could have interpreted another way. I feel if I make an effort to include her into my life than the ball would be fully in her court. And she has lost control of me and she hasn't made an attempt to get me back. I think she just acts mean and careless cause she has been hurt before by a lot of people. I've seen her sweet side plenty of times too.