Why is my male co-worker acting nervous around me even after a year?

I've been working with this guy for a little more than a year. We work in different departments but our departments can often work closely with one... Show More

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know what your company policy is about co- workers fraternizing, but it's possible the bantering flirtation you have developed fed a rumor machine that embarrassed him.

    In fact, I'd bet that rumors are flying around about you!

    You haven't said if he's single or not, or if you are, for that matter...but it's likely he's been told that the flirtation at work is inappropriate. so now he avoids you and acts nervous., He won't tell you directly not to flirt with him, since he certainly does like you, but he feels he has to keep his distance and maintain 'professional' decorum from now on.

    Naturally, the whole situation makes him nervous, since of course he'd like to keep flirting, but feels he has to stop.

    That's happened to me, several times, in work situations..I know how he feels!

    • The policy doesn't forbid fraternizing but states that any relations with a co-worker outside of work should not include discussing confidential info. A lot of us are friends outside of work and I can think of a handful of couples formed. I am interested in what you have said here because I have wondered if someone has made him feel as though our banter is inappropriate (even though it truly is just innocent joking and the type of flirting that reminds me of being in school).

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    • I have backed off with the "flirting" since he's exhibited feeling nervous/uncomfortable around me. My natural reaction when feeling rejected is to just back off and not push it. I'm of course still friendly (flashing a smile if we pass by one another in the hall, saying hello, asking him how he's doing, etc) so I'm wondering if I need to back off even more. Unless it's strictly a work related reason, should I just forget all other communication?

    • I'd stop fro a while, until the gossip dies down...see how yu feel after a month or so.