I've this experience with two guys , the former left all communication when he went abroad to study in med school & the recent one neglects me since he got his evening-night job & hardly have any time for me.
I'm really heart broken now. For guys is career that important that they can let the relationship go without trying to give some time ? Or have I expected too much from a busy med student or the guy doing night job ?
Is this normal ? Guys & girls please share in your opinions ... & what can I do to make situations better
Because the relationship is not that important ? No, that's what girls think. But that's not it.
It's because the guy does not think the relationship is as fragile as his job.
If you think of the job as a spinning plate on a stick, it needs constant (every day) attention in order to avoid falling into chaos.
Relationships are not like for guys. We expect them to be able to continue along just fine without our constant care and attention.
Most guys have no idea of the way women can spiral out of control in just a day or two if there's no communication with them. It simply wouldn't occur to the average inexperienced guy that the girl would find any reason to spin out of control in just two days.
Typical guy thought : " I spoke to her on Friday! We were all good, and looking forward to next weekends trip! I haven't even seen her or spoken to her in 3 days! What the hell could have gone wrong?"
Typical girl thought " He hasn't spoken to me in 3 days. What's the matter? Did he not enjoy the date Friday? I did, I thought he did as well. Has he found someone else? I bet that's it. I bet it's that girl at the office, the one he mentioned that one time. The bastard! How could he do this to me?"
depends on the guy. some a career is definitely very very important and they may feel as though they need to focus on that and the girl is a bit of a secondary importance.
however, plenty of guys (myself included) believe that a good relationship is just as or more important than career. now I'm not going to let my career suffer needlessly for a girl but I don't necessarily back off a relationship for my career.
just try to be patient and understand that a career is important. try to compromise with him on the investment for work and investment to the relationship. understand that you want a guy who has his eyes on the career prize but at the same time will make time for you.
in the case of the med student, depending on how familiar he was with where he was going, he had to learn quite a bit. current guy, has he had this job for a while or did he just start it? I've worked a couple of jobs, to where, when I got off work, I was on auto pilot just to get home. when I got home, who knows. I remember waking up and going to work. that was about 9 months worth until I quit.
Women back us into a corner about these things. They want hard-working and high-earning men to buy them things and brag about to their friends, but then have an issue with the fact that we are always working to provide them these things. Look, my career is my first priority and no woman will ever stand in the way of that. I've seen too many people make career-ending mistakes over and for women just to have it all fall back in their laps later on. He's going to be far more receptive of you if you're supportive of what he does.
to be fair the first guy had a great career opportunity and devoted himself to it, his career is for life and his relationships most of the time won't be anything to neglect his studies for (unless its his wife and kids he's seriously neglecting)
the second guys making an effort at his new job and trying to make extra money (assuming he also has a day job) leaving him really tired, he's not neglecting you he just doesn't have enough hours in the day as he needs to sleep to keep up with his work. try to be supportive and see him on weekends instead of freaking out and feeling heartbroken
we women over analyse everything, men under analyse everything.. there's usually no secret motive or underlying thought with them. they think something and do it, say something and do it or are just doing it without thinking anythins wrong
its normal for people who focus on one thing at a time and many chose work because it feels dignified to work hard. to love hard feels needy for many. or power or money is more important to them than love.
. its not a guy thing. anyways those people shouldn't be in serious relationships and their partners shouldn't be serious about them imo.
if you want a devoted bf,dont date a guy who is not devoted.
my mom left for kids whn I was 3 to dedicate her time to hr carer. I never expected anything from hr, bci know its not who she is.
my dad was rarely home because of his work. we were close because we got along and he cared but I never expected to see him very much. because work was here his head was at. no point being botherd by it. its just what it is. pple are who they r.
be with someone you want to be with. not with someone you want to be with --except x why z .
most guys will take career over girl. unless she is someone he wants to marry one day and will not give her up no matter what...so it depends on the foundation of your relationship.
most times relationship should not be 50% of your life...guys will focus more time on their career over girls.
the first one, he is abroad. logically, it will not workout.
the recent one, chose his job over you...to me..could have worked out if both of you work it out. but he didn't want to ... so just move on and keep yourself busy. the right guy will come.