My boyfriend is TOO ambitious...it feels threatening!

[Anonymous]

I am a very independent girl. Well educated (have 2 graduate degrees), own my own company, and am very confident in myself. The guy I am dating is 9 years younger than me and I think he is too ambitious and I find it threatening.

He: 1) tells me he is SO smart all of the time, 2) tells me that he is better/smarter than all of the people he works with, 3) is arrogant about his knowledge and how much money he is going to make one day, 4) acts like he's a hot shot all of the time, 5) and sometimes tells me that he is smarter than me. I feel like is is not confident but arrogant. It's annoying. I have told him about it but he doesn't do anything.

It wasn't like this at the beginning of the relationship but he true colors started coming out. I fear he will be the next Wolf of Wall Street. HA. Is this all a red flag?

[Tarvold]

RED FLAG!

Here's my breakdown of each of your points:

1.) Smart, confident people don't need to say it all the time. We just do things, and once those things are done, we just go on and do more things. Like your multiple grad degrees, the actions speak for themselves.

2.) Confident people don't feel the need to compete with absolutely everyone in their proximity.

3.) Talking about making money is not the same as actually making money.

4.) Sounds annoying.

5.) If he really was smarter than you, he'd pick arguments that can't be lost by just two words - "prove it.".

He's an arrogant brat who's all talk. Put it this way, you own your own company, so I assume you've employed people. Would you employ someone who talks that much, is that arrogant, and thinks so little of the people he works with?

[Asker]

No way would I hire him! You're right!

[Tarvold]

If you won't hire him, even when you have feelings for him, imagine how fast he's going to climb his career ladder in the real world?

[Theguyoverthere]

The ones who talk the most actually do the least.

He doesn't sound ambitious, just cocky. I tend to find that people very involved in education fields get stuck in these kinds of ego battles. It's always about who owns the most stuff, who makes the most money, and so on. But in the end, they get so wrapped up in these "successes" that they forget to just enjoy life for what it is. Even if he became the next wolf of wall street, who cares? What does he get? A medal? I think you just need to find someone who is educated enough to know what the definition of "modest" is.

[Asker]

Agreed. He went to a top 20 school for undergrad and talks about how awesome it is and how awesome he is for going there. Shut up already! No one cares. I feel bad that I am annoyed by this stuff but it just gets tiring to hear

[Theguyoverthere]

Yea and there's just as many people out there that can be smarter than him who can learn the same exact things without having to spend a fortune on student loans or whatever by using their tax dollars and going to a library.

[idekjnsp]

If you feel this way about him, why are you still with him?

You could bring it up and talk about it with him, but from what you described about him, I doubt he'd be willing to change or even take in what you said.

[Asker]

Because I don't date smart and stay with my boyfriends for 2-6 months too long.

[YoungAthleticOne]

I would give you advice but their is plenty here. Look all I gotta say from experience with hearing stories like this from other female friends it all comes down to this: What are You going to do about it? You know this is a red flag, but what are you going to do about it? 99% of the time from experience is that these females do nothing. They act exactly how I predicted. So I know this sounds mean, but this post might be a waste of time on your part because I doubt you will do anything with the information I or any of the other guys provided. At the end of the day you will be going back to him,

[Asker]

Nope, just broke up with him!

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

It means he's an A-hole, and he probably will continue to be this way forever. I don't think he'll be the Wold Of Wall Street, but I also don't think this will ever better better. He's not the man you fell for. I suggest you leave.

[Asker]

Yeah, you're right. Very often he acts super arrogant and talks about himself for hours.i find it very annoying!

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Classic narcissist. Lose him quickly. It's a huge red flag.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice!

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

You're welcome.

And don't feel bad about getting annoyed by him. He's clearly an ass. Get out!

[Curmudgeon]

Well, Cougar, you wanted a younger cocky man, didn't you?

[Anonymous]

Tell him to slow down