Would you date someone poorer than you?

Question

I'm middle class and this girl I'm talking to is from a rich family. We are both in college in the same class. I reckon that we are compatible at almost every level we've discussed so far. As a guy I've been taught to be the provider and protector. So for the first few dates I expect to pay. Usually I have no worries, but I'm worried that she may dismiss me for not being able to maintain her lifestyle with the kinds of dates and/or gifts she is used to

Poll: Would you date someone who is compatible with you, but who is poorer than you?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As far as girls and money go... it's less about how much money you came from and more about what your potential earning power is likely to be, at least if she's looking for a long term relationship. The other thing is: coming from a rich family isn't just being accustomed to nice things. It is also sometimes associated with a certain philosophy about stringent saving, pretty high ambition in education, etc.,

Is this girl smart? Is she trying to improve herself and get prepared for a practical career? If so, than you can bet that she expects her future boyfriend to be as ambitious or more ambitious than she is. It's not just about money for these kinds of "rich girls". It's a mindset that they're looking for. They want a boyfriend who strives to become a better person in every aspect of his life, including professionalism. These kinds of girls do not care one bit how poor the boy's family was (they may even admire it) - as long as he has drive, independent thought, passion for achievement, etc. These kinds of girls value frugality, efficiency, and dislike waste. They would commend you for being careful with your spending, just as they are.

Rich people do not stay rich by spending. Upper middle class people are some of the the cheapest people you'll find in that they work hard to make sure their money works hard for them.

However, if she's one of those girls who's messing around with psychology/sociology/art/fashion science/drama as her major and seems to be more interested in name brands and makeup than the skills she's building, she is probably only marginally aware of her wealth. While she may miss buying name brands on a whim, she won't really appreciate wealth as the product of effort. She will likely be less understanding of your situation.

jam66 · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't worry until you have to. Unless she begins demanding things from you and you know you have tried your best, then I don't think this is the girl for you.

I would ask her out, get to know her better and you may be well surprised. She can't help it if her family are rich, just like you can't help your family's financial situation. Does that mean no guy tries for her just because they're worried of the financial side.

I had an ex boyfriend who was very rich, and I was poor. I am not demanding at all and I do not value money but he only spent $5 on me at Christmas and didn't get me so much as a card for me on Valentine's day. Did I deserve to be treated like that? No, I gave him as much love as I possibly could and whenever I could afford to I would buy him gifts. But he felt with all his money I wasn't worth a dime.

I respect you more because you want to try for your lady and you are worrying, which shows you will be caring.

The most precious thing that you can give her is love and your heart is in the right place. Surely as long as you are trying for her then that is all that matters. If she isn't happy with that then move on and find someone more appreciative.

Good luck :)

Awsdrd1990 · Accepted Answer

as a girl who has dated someone who had less money than me ,(as in a lot less) I think it was harder on him than me..every time we wanted to go out he didint have any money ,and I of course wanted to go out so I payed and it didint bother me but his ego got in the way and his insicureties made the relationship hard since he wanted to pay or not go at all..so it didint last..but I liked him it was just awkward all the time.i always had better clothes and stuff in general..and it mad him feel bad .i would always tell him I didint care but he did..and plus our families were very diffrent..so if you can not make it a big deal and but your ego aside and maybe show her that you bring other qualities to the table I'm sure shell like you even more..

Phoenix1991 · Accepted Answer

Yeah, I have before and I will continue to do so.

I personally believe that money and financial status shouldn't determine whether or not someone is a perfect connection for me or not, I know some people do it and they are entitled to their opinions , I just don't share the same philosophy.

As long as they are a hard worker and willing to try to improve themselves, why should their income decide my interest or not?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Poorer ?! Someone out of the two has to be poorer ...

If one person is filthy rich, then I see no problem for them wanting to date even a very poor person, unless we are talking about stuck up rich people and you don't want that anyway.

On a general

Brain + money = YES

No brain + money = NO

Brain + not that much money = yes

Anonymous · Answer

I would certainly give it a shot! If our personalities our compatible, I would see if our lifestyles are too!

I'm middle class so I don't have a very lavish lifestyle, I don't spend a lot of money and I don't need a guy who's going to buy me things/be the provider. Having said that, I don't think I could be with a guy who's lazy. If my guy is broke because he comes from a poor family, or because the economy's down, or because he's having trouble getting a (high paying) job that's fine- but if he's lazy and chooses not to work and tries to rely on me, I couldn't be with him.

Prof_Don · Answer

I voted B. I would if I found her character and values to not be detrimental.

Not to sound elitist, but not all people on financial hard times are pure circumstance alone; some made poor choices, or continue to make poor choices, or have life values that may tread them towards being low on the socio-economic scale (such as having lots of kids outside of marriage).

Account · Answer

I would date someone poorer than me but I wouldn't date someone richer. It would make me feel inadequate and it would crush my self-esteem. I prefer dating someone equal to me of course.

bombdotcom · Answer

It depends on what you mean by poorer I would assume we come from very different lifestyles. I always have to walk on eggshells with poorer people, in terms of hobbies

bellabionda · Answer

I wouldn't support someone who's too lazy to work. But poorer meaning if I were a millionaire, would I date someone who wasn't.

timewarper · Answer

Take her to an interesting date of her life, she might accept you as more than what your financial status is about.

emzy-89 · Answer

Yes, I'm a girl from what people call a 'rich family', but I've dated people who come from middle-class families. It's kinda hard to avoid, as majority of people are middle-class.

BayHarborButcher · Answer

I've been working at my current job for 3 years. Every guy I've dated since I got that job has made less money then me and in some cases a lot less money. Not a big deal.

laramills23 · Answer

Yeah I would :D money can't buy happiness, remember that :)

Daph81 · Answer

Yes, as long as he still has an income that's enough for himself, and not a gold digger.

ArabianPwincess197 · Answer

sure when it comes to dating its the guy that matters not the class

Anonymous · Answer

Women don't date men who have less money or from a lower class than men. Even if they do miraculously, it doesn't last long. Money is very important for women when it comes to dating.

kmit21 · Answer

If you really love that person it doesn't matter about the money it matters how much you love them.

Darkhocolate1001 · Answer

Sure I'm also middle class so I'm no better than someones who's rich or poor.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women wouldn't, but guys  are always willing to date someone poorer than them.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably not. I prefer he makes as much me or higher.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope.  I'm lower middle class so anything poorer then me is BAD.  I want a girl at least at my income level and with a college education like me.

Anonymous · Answer

Women for the most part only date other with more money than them.

teasegirl · Answer

yes I would

rocksongwriter · Answer

Yes, absolutely.

Would you date someone poorer than you?

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