Naked pics on my boyfriends phone

[Mandyfaith88]

I was bad and snooped through my boyfriends phone. I found about 30 pics of naked of nearly naked girls saved to his phone. There wee at least 10 pictures of girls I know personally on there. They are in our circle of friends. I asked him about it and h says he uses them to jerk off and they don't mean anything. I feel sick and 2 inches tall. I don't know if I should believe him that nothing is going on with these girls. We have only been dating 4 months and we have sex almost everyday. He says he is going to delete the pic and he will never do it again. I think he will and will get better at hiding it. I feel angry, hurt and sad. What do I do?

Updates

+1 y

He pics were not sent to him. He went on girls Facebook pages and Instagram and saved there sexy pics to his phone. He had do this within the last month. I know it's wrong to invade his privacy but I really felt he was trying to hide his phone from me all the time. Won't let me hold it even when he is trying to show me something on it. I asked him about the pics. He said it was a one time thing and he won't do it again. I think he will continue to do it and just erase the evidence. F***my life!

[Anonymous]

I can't say for sure if he's sleeping with any of them or not (I think probably not), however...

There are so many guys out there who wouldn't do this and recognize it's disrespectful to your relationship to keep naked photos of your friends, even if the girls send them to him (or even more likely their ex-boyfriends are passing them around).

It's your call, I suppose you can give him another chance and see how it goes, but I'd rather date a guy who understands it's not right. I'd even be able to respect a guy who may not think it's a big deal, but has the courtesy to let me know he was sent these pics, because he gets that it might be an issue for me. This guy clearly does not (or knows and doesn't care, which is equally bad and inconsiderate). P*rn is one thing, but people you actually know? I'd feel uncomfortable with that, and if he's upfront about these things he'd know that, and hopefully he'd respect my views on it or let me go my own way.

The other problem is your trust in him is already dissolving, and without that it's almost pointless to carry on a relationship. If you were the type who could look at those pics and not be bothered your boyfriend's jerking off to photos of your friends, my answer would be different, but I don't think you are. You'll find yourself snooping more, checking up on him, feeling insecure, getting clingy, etc. You'll turn into the bad guy down the line, and it's just not worth it.

[why-makoto-kun]

That's horrible! He's definitely cheating in some form, IMO. Dump him. You can't be in a healthy relationship with a guy who disrespects you like that, and disrespects those girls by creeping on them like that.

You already don't trust him, and you know he's thinking of those other girls instead of you. I think you have your answer on what you should do.

I don't believe in snooping, but I think it helped you dodge a bullet, here.

[Confucius16]

I don't believe in snooping, but since it's already done, I focused not on snooping (like some other people did), but about the pics on the boyfriend's phone. Maybe like the ends justify the means (although I'm reluctant to say this because usually the ends do not justify the means, just in this case).

[why-makoto-kun]

Mhm, exactly. Snooping is a "crime," but not nearly as bad as what this creeper did.

[abundantlyrich]

1) He could be sleeping with all of them

or 2) sextexting them.

It is too obvious.

He doesn't sound like a one girl type -boyfriend.

Confront him and dump him if I were you. I know it is easier said than done but if

he still continues to sleep around, you take a risk with your health that he could pass you a STD in the long run.

[guitar903]

lol "sextexting"

[MorbidPrincess94]

Lol Isn't it sexting?

[Confucius16]

I think that's the short form, yes.

[Anonymous]

Personally I get off better when I see in my mind or on TV/Computer/Phone someone that I know in real life rather then p*rn stars or someone naked that I will never meet.

No different then any other p*rn, although you have to wonder if he sent them a naked pic to get one. IF not, what was the girls reason for sending one.

Sorry you feel the way that you do. If they were not there at the start of your relationship you might want to rethink it.

Yes I have pictures of quite a few females that I know and yes I have used them as visual aides to my masturbation sessions, but with us it is more about the visual then the actual sex. One who I use the most (even masturbated in the same room together - never touching one another) has a smoking hot (to me) body but does not have sex often enough (1 in 2 years) as we live in a small town and she is HSV2 positive and I am one of the only ones that know it.

If you feel so out of sorts, man up and talk to him about it. Granted it was not your phone and you should not have been snooping, so hold yourself accountable for that - there is no excuse. Half of the problems on this site could be taken care of if the poster had communication skills or balls enough to confront the one(s) that they are writing about.

[Gawesome]

LOL horny animal...he jerks off to your circle of friends?...now that's kinda weird and awkward.

So the next he bumps into a girl friend of yours...he would be like..."hey how's it going?"...but deep in his mind he would be like "I jerked off to your nudie pic and now I'm envisioning you naked right now and thinking of jerking off to you tonight"

Here's a thought: considering he alleged uses the pics to jerk off to them...now what are the chances he's thinking of all those friends when having sex with you?

[ketfoen]

lmao, come here girl and give me a hug. I know how you look beneath those clothes.

[Gawesome]

LOL. CREEPER.

[ketfoen]

yeah like you said a real creeper

[why-makoto-kun]

I hate it when guys do that. it's like "don't date me and use me as your tool when you want other chicks." Barf. It's that mentality that women are disposable sex dolls.

[TheGoodTheBadTheHOT]

Chances are he either got the pictures in the past or through friends (the latter of which is quite common) so I woukdnt be particularly worried about that.

However, I see the fact he jerks off to photos the both of you know as a large warning bell. If he feels comfortable jerking off to your friends then chances are he wouldn't hesitate cheating on you with them.

In conclusion, dump him and move on. Bear in mind, it is not uncommon for guys to masturbate to p*rn whilst in a relationship and when doing so that does not mean they love their SO any less, but when it comes to using photos of mutual friends, that is where it gets disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there is anything wrong with p*rn, but when it is of people he actually knows, then I believe that is crossing the line. I don't blame you for checking his phone, if he was acting that defensively about you even holding it. That was a huge red flag that you noticed. It would have been stupid for you to have trusted him not to have something on his phone after that. There is trust, and there is being blind to the truth.

This was not a one time thing, because he clearly put way too much work into it, for him to stop doing this sort of thing.

[Confucius16]

Relationships are about commitment. He shouldn't have done that, because he's dating you, not them. If his attention wavers, then that does a lot of damage to your self-esteem and emotions. They don't "don't mean anything". It's a big deal, because it's a sign of a wandering eye. But that doesn't mean you should fly off the handle. Handle this calmly, but firmly.

Tell him this :"I'm angry, hurt, and sad that you would have naked pictures of other girls on your phone. How am I going to trust you? How am I going to know if you will do what you say you will do, and delete the pictures and never do it again?" If he thinks they don't mean anything, then it sounds unlikely that he will stop. He could be saying so to please you. So at a later date, check with him to see if he still has those pictures in his phone. Otherwise, this relationship may not be the best for you.

[Confucius16]

Ask your friends about what happened.

[Confucius16]

Now that you already snooped, we answerers are supposed to answer the question. Yes, it isn't right to snoop, but you can be forgiven (in this case) because there is a need to know what he did. Don't be with someone who is like that.

[why-makoto-kun]

Yeah, I mean, p*rn girls are bad enough, but people he knows? Barf. Creep-tastic.

[Confucius16]

Exactly. Plus it throws a barrier on the friendships. It makes you wonder "what kind of friends do I have"?

[Slayde]

Get out of there. He's not the kind of guy you want to get involved with, and it's not a healthy situation for you. My girlfriend's ex was the same way, and it was really, really bad for her. You're going to get hurt again, and he'll plead and tell you "I can change" and all that stuff again, but he won't change. And if you leave him, he'll accuse you of being unfair, or call you hurtful things (and then try to guilt trip you by apologizing and playing the victim, etc.) I've seen this kind of thing happen to friends of mine too many times. He's not the exception, and you don't deserve to be belittled like that.

[Anonymous]

First of all, be honest with yourself. Why did you snoop through your bf's phone? It's because you don't trust him deep down, isn't it?

"I feel sick and 2 inches tall."

That's quite understandable; what he did was not only disrespectful, but also an act of betrayal.

"He says he is going to delete the pics and he will never do it again. I think he will and will get better at hiding it."

Exactly.

[summiter]

You said he was having sex with you almost every day and he still has to jack off to pics of other girls. That is just plain wrong. If he needs a picture to jack off to it should be a picture of you and not someone else! However, it is probably best if you don't give him any revealing pics of you, he may not be able to be trusted with them on the internet.

I think you can do better...dump him.

[Cloudx077]

It is sorta like p*rnography nothing will satisfy him and if he is having sex with you and then "jacking off" on other girls I personally think he is using you for pleasure and I would strongly suggest you leave him since he is cheating on you physically while he masturbates. You don't want to have a husband that does that do you?

Good Luck mate best of luck

P.S I would suggest telling your friends about to prevent this from happening but I don't know up to u.

[abw121290]

I think there is more going on here. He doesn't end up with these pics by accident.. he either took them, or they were sent to him. I would confront him and ask him what is going on. If he doesn't give you a satisfactory answer, find someone else to date.

[Madlaugher]

only if you jump him & judge him for it then he'll hide it. my brother is the same with his girlfriend, he was a man whore but he had a kid, he hasn't cheated on her not once. but he does have a lot of pics he wouldn't cheat but he's not use to not having the attention he wants when he wants it kind of thing. he's got them to jerk off , & his girl doesn't like it but she gets mad at him, they argue. I don't know what would happen if if she didn't get all pissed but hope my experience helps

[Mr8827]

I think you have rushed into this relationship too quickly without getting to know the guy better first. He obviously has a 'player' mentality and doesn't get the sexual satisfaction from you that he really wants, so he goes and looks elsewhere.

If it was normal p*rnography then it wasn't that bad, but it is actual people you KNOW, that is insane.

[Wolfman6]

In his defence these pictures could have come from some of his guy friends who acquired them. Guys will quite commonly send pictures of their flings to their circle of friends; but it is kinda alarming that he ADMITTED to using it to jerk off.

If I were you, I would leave him and look for someone else. Lots of guys will treat a girl willing to have sex with her boyfriend almost everyday a hell of a lot better then you current one.

[Anonymous]

Get over it.

Guys jerk off. Guys often look at p*rn to jerk off.

It turns out you have friends who are exhibitionists, if they are sending nude pics of themselves to guys.

Ask around - see who else has pics from these girls. Then maybe you'll understand that it's not just your boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

re:update - so you're saying he's jerking off to pics made available by your friends?

That's even less concern than if they were sending them to him.

Get over it already.

[blackjaro]

Well... That isn't normal - You can be sure of that. I think he doesn't deserves on You. I'll bet that he will continue it - as You said. Here is also other problem. Are these girls know about these pictures? I don't wan't to fright You, but this can be perv attitude. It depends... If I were You I would rather end the relationship. And don't worry, not every guy has pics of naked girls saved in phone. I wish you all the best! ;)

[flawless]

... I cannot believe that there are guys that will say that to a girl. D:

That is outright rude and disrespectful in every way. I wouldn't even trust this guy. That's terrible deeds right there.

[why-makoto-kun]

It happens. I never saw anything like this from him, but I dated a guy who told me he could "do" my friends, his girl friends, and MY MOM. D: I stayed because he convinced me that all guys were like that, and I believed he really truly loved me because he told me "the ugly truth" rather than telling me make-believe romantic stuff.

[flawless]

Argh!~~ D: Not to say bad things about him, but that is not the ugly truth. The truth is that not all guys do that, he's more or less using that as an excuse to justify his behavior. I check out female friend's picture, but certainly don't do creepy things with it.

[Madlaugher]

i didn't think my brother is ready for commitment, & to be honest I don't think your boyfriend is either, I was about as big if not bigger man whore than my brother, but I never cheated on any girl I've been with nor have I ever thought of jerking it while I was with it never watched p*rn (uness it was her idea) while I was with a girl. but not every guy is the same. I don't know what to tell you but I do know this if he cares about you truly cares he'll never need p*rn or anything other than you.

[Confucius16]

Yeah. Not every guy is like that. The bad guys out there really hurt some women. It's sad.

[Konnour]

You dump him, that's what you do. What else do you need to know?

[Xena1990]

So he can be free to f*** them as he maybe does already :s

[Konnour]

Well... yeah, that's true, however SHE will be free and not worrying about it.

[Everclear]

You are right, he will continue and now that he has been caught, he will hide them better. It is possible he did just use them to jerk off, but why them when he could go online and get naked pictures of hotter girls or even watch p*rn if his intentions were only to jerk off.

[MorbidPrincess94]

Give him a chance to rectify his mistake but if he does it again then break up with him. It's like he doesn't find you hot enough. Why not jerk off looking at your pictures instead of other sl*ts? I would not have tolerated it.

[rthomas43]

Hahaha what kind of guy jerks off to pictures of his own SO?

Jacking off is a chance for guys to go to our little fantasy world. Who wants to f*** the same chick in their fantasy world as they do in real life?

[MorbidPrincess94]

Lol Well my boyfriend does. I'm saddened there aren't more guys like him. More girls would lead a peaceful life.

[Swirves]

Lol what a guy tells you for your own good and what he's actually thinking are too different things. I'm SURE this guy is thinking of his SO... She'd be at least one of the ladies involved...

[why-makoto-kun]

If a guy prefers fantasizing about other women to his woman, he shouldn't be with that woman. If it's so bad being with her that he has to escape from her, what's the point?

[MorbidPrincess94]

@Swirves That's the difference between a nice guy and someone like you. :) My boyfriend doesn't even watch p*rn. He jerks off looking at me on the webcam. Only guys who truly love and respect his SO would do so. Maybe when you will love someone truly you will realize it.

@why-makoto-kun Yes you're right. Such guys shouldn't even be in a relationship.

[johnny13]

You may not like my answer - I don't think I could trust him. Why is he fantasizing about people in your close circle of friends? And dumb enough to have the evidence on his phone to boot.

I doubt it's a one time think if he had so many pics - it sounds like a hobby of his and given time he might have had an even bigger collection. Everyone fantasizes but harding pics like that is a bad sign.

Yes you snooped, but the damage is done. Hope you fnd someone better and move on.

[blackkid2]

Good news: He isn't in contact with the women.

Bad news: He's stealing pictures of other women that he knows off the internet.

He's kind of a creeper.

Oh, right, you, uh dump or whatever blahblahblah jargon nonsense.

[Prof_Don]

You don't know when he got those pics, or how he got them (a friend may have forwarded those to him).

I wouldn't worry so much about this; guys do this (using racy pics of girls he knows as fap material) more than you think. :-P