Should I send my Ex-Wife roses for V-Day?

Mainly out of respect and appreciation for the time ( 22 year marriage ) we had together

Updates:
Sent them- thank you all for the wise counselling :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • yea, go for it! I know you're an older dude and probably don't wanna listen to someone my age but regardless of how you left thigs off it would be sweet. maybe just try not to make it seem over romantic but just more of a "hey I know we're not together, but it felt weird not doing something for ya this year so I decided to send you some flowers anyway! enjoy your Valentine's day!"

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    • age is just a number, met many wise 21 yr old as well as dumb as dogshit 45 yr olds ;)

    • ahah yea I can't argue with that! well I hope my opinion helped a bit aha

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What Girls Said 6

  • that sound like a nice gesture

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  • If you want to send roses, send yellow ones for friendship. Never send red to an ex you are not trying to get back together with or sleep with.

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  • That's lovely but she may get the wrong idea.

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  • If you and her still are close or have come to a mutual understanding or neither of you are bitter/holding a grudge, I think that would be a really sweet and considerate idea

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  • As long as they're the appropriate color so as not to confuse her...

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  • Mainly? I don't know, I can understand the respect thing. But I'd say a phone call or something would be better. Flowers on VDay have too much meaning built up behind them. Thanks, Hallmark. Wouldn't want her reading into it, if that's not your meaning. by the way, I think it's great you still have respect for her. I was married 14 years too. It's great when people can be respectful after time.

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What Guys Said 18

  • You know it's funny... If I hadn't gone through an ugly divorce, this suggestion would seem really sweet to me. Every situation is different, but if I did this to my ex-wife, I would get a message from our parenting coordinator reminding me to respect boundaries.

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    • it is sad that third parties interfere on two maybe working it out. Often, they stifle and sully as much as they assist :(

    • Oh no, the third party was insisted by my ex-wife so that we'd never have to talk to each other so it's not really the third party's fault. My ex-wife had it included in the court orders in the divorce that we both had to help pay for this $150/hr parenting coordinator who works as a go-between for whenever we need to relay information to each other. It's sort of like this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-zukmo9X78

    • This is very regrettable. I know this sounds idealistic but always embraced respect in any union i have had. Never respected underhanded antics during a break up or after.

      My condolences on your obvious frustration/pain :(

  • You couldn't get me to send FREE roses to an ex no matter how friendly you are now. It sends the wrong message. You want to show her respect? Let her go!

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  • It depends on how your marriage ended and what terms you two are on now. Though, i would suggest expressing that the gesture is friendly, if thats what it is. If you intend to win her back through these types of gestures, I’d say maybe wait for however long it takes for you two to get to a point that you can discuss this topic together. What may seem as a nice offering to her, may seem as though you haven't moved forward, or in an extreme case, that you are obsessed. Boundaries are definitely a factor here, so proceed with caution. Hope i helped you decide at least a bit.

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    • We are still friends and though our hearts were broken through the split, it was amicable

    • Then I would say proceed, though express the intended friendliness. It can't cause harm if you do and this is the case for both parties. However, if it does, then perhaps things aren't as you perceive them to be. Where to go, i leave up to you, but i will say that in any relationship, friendship or otherwise, communication is key.

  • I can't since she remarried right away but maybe you could if you're still friends with her that way

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  • Nope, she is your Ex-Wife, not your Lover anymore (most likely). The guy who bangs her tonight will have to bring the flowers.

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  • No , as an ex is an ex for good reason. This is more a gesture for an actual here & now partner.

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  • I feel bad for you bro. You seem to be a nice guy.

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  • Yeah... I would

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  • dont. she's your ex for a reason. let her stay in the past.

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  • I would think if you two are friends than I would send her the roses otherwise just send her a card with "Thinking of You" on Valentines Day. It also depends how good or close of a relationship you two have now.

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  • What is wrong with being nice to her but don't expect anything in return and don't attach your emotion as you send it to her

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  • do it, open that door. practice makes perfect if you learn from it. usually when people learn from it they tend to move on to new things, not stay stagnant like pond water

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  • Unless it's the rose of her prolapse. (some people are into that) then nah, get freaky in the sheets. Probably a bit late now, unless you're in America. I don't know I'm not great with time zones haha

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  • IF you want to waste fucking money and look like a dip shit sure.

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  • yes you should send.

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  • In my opinion, no. I get the whole respect and all but you may send the wrong message through that... maybe something that shows that you can be friends but something that may not give her the impression that you want to get back together.

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  • Maybe. Not red though.

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  • no, don't. that just sends mixed messages

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