Sexual Health
+1 y

Can a virgin be sexually frustrated?

I hate it soooooo much! I'm saving myself. Not for marriage, but I want the first time to be special. But he's not here yet, and I'm getting sick and tired of waiting! It's a chore for a 19 year old (almost 20!) to stay a virgin these days. I don't have the problem that other virgins might have. I'm not embarrassed about it and I'm not wondering why I haven't lost it yet, obviously. Im confident and attractive. Brunette, blue eyes, and bigg boobs. I'm super nice, too. It's driving me nuts turning down hookups with hot guys to wait for some guy that I might never meet. I date and I can keep them satisfied for a month or two before they get all mad, demand all of me and when I say I'm still not ready, they dip! I'm not a tease, a really good girlfriend But the boys never stay and now I'm getting fed up and frustrated. What should I do?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I feel you girl! when I was your age I wasn't that frustrated but now that I am a bit older ... hell I am really sick of it! and I don't know why I keep waiting for that special someone that like you said may never come! but I just can't do it with just any guy! that's my problem! I am way toooooo picky! I am pretty too and would make a good girlfriend but I am too hard on myself when it comes to dating... sometimes it is a bless and sometimes a curse... people say it's good to have standards and all that but I am starting to think that I overanalize guys... I could understand some girls who are still virgin and haven't lost it because guys wouldn't date them, but people would be surprise to meet a pretty chick who is still a virgin... anyways, I know how frustrated you are but I would say wait a little bit more... if you go to college you may find that "special someone" ... don't wait for mister right though, he may not exist but just do it with someone you find special... I found mine in college and still can't get over him and I think that is why I can't seem to give other guys a chance! Anyways, really don't let guys or other people pressure you, do it when you feel comfortable... that's the only way you will not feel any regrets later! and you will hold it as a memorable part of your life even if you don't end up marrying the guy...

  • Well actually its weird cos I was in the same way. I was really sexually frustrated and then I was with an old friend that I've known for a long time and we ended up having sex. this was totally not the way I had planned it. I really wanted to lose my virginity to a guy that I loved and was in a relationship with, this guy was neither. he's still a really good friend and treated me really well and still does. I feel like I was just so frustrated and curious that this really helped me. I don't regret it even though I thought I would and I am fine with what happened. I'm not saying that its not a big deal adn you shouldn't wait but I'm just saying that it was a H?UGE relief for me sexually to do it with someone that I at least liked and that respected me. it has helped me to be a lot more at peace sexually, which is really good. for example I don't feel the need to masturbate these days cos I dunno, it's all different now. I'm not telling you to go out there and hook up with a friend, so I don't really have much advice but yeah I thought I would share my story.

  • hey I'm around the same age and still a virgin too...and yeah it can be frustrating. I keep waiting for the right guy and he seems to have gotten lost but no biggie. until I'm ready, and oh yeah, until he shows up, I'm not going to worry about having sex. you'll regret it later if you just give in now and have sex with some random guy who doesn't appreciate who you are and the gift you're giving him.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm a 26 year old virgin and I'm, definitely, sexually frustrated. But my problem is different than yours. I've never had a girlfriend. I've never been on a date. I'ts always been difficult for me to talk to women, besides family members. I just get too shy, quiet, stutter and make myself look like an uneducated fool. Also, having social anxiety doesn't help.

    I don't even want sex... I mean I do... but I would go out with a girl who never wanted to have sex, in a heartbeat. I just want to be with someone. Cuddle someone. Talk to someone. Listen to someone... just be there for each other, no matter what, you know? That's all I want out of a relationship.

    I think I'm attractive enough. My worst features are that I'm short and just a little overweight. I also like to think that I have a good personality, but I'm too shy and quiet to show it. I most likely come off as dumb or creepy.

    The only way I can see this problem getting fixed is to forcefully put ourselves out there and keep meeting new people till we find "the one", no matter how long it takes.

    I'm sorry I made this about me and barley answered your question. I guess I needed to vent. I wish you, and everyone else with similar problems, good luck... Being a sexually frustrated virgin sucks... Being lonely is even worse.

  • Stay by what you believe in, if you want to wait, wait. Who cares what those other guys say or do, if you don't want to wait any more, do that cause you want to, not cause of those other guys reactions. Don't give up on it, you'll find that guy who really cares for you, and you'll know when that guy comes into your life, just be patient.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 2

  • Not sure how it's a chore? Maybe surround yourself with better guys who aren't just looking to get into your pants.

    • If it were that easy to spot them, do you think I would be asking this question?! LOL

    • You have to be more patient hun. Most guys are jerks. That's why you get to know someone BEFORE you start dating them. I'm writing a book on the subject. If you want the link, send me a message and I'll give you the link.

  • Well I think you're doing a good thing in waiting, but hard times is only to be expected. You can't wait til a special guy comes around yet not have to p*ss out a hundred bad guys. Just stop being so impatient.

  • ya I am one of them!

  • I think so

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